Midnight Sun. Yes, again, because it's worth so much more.
I know many of you have refused to read the partial draft which SM posted on her website. I really admire that. I couldn't, not since I've been looking forward to reading Midnight Sun what seems like several times a day, after I read the first chapter. A single chapter, and I know it was going to be my most favorite book in the world. I was so right, and words cannot describe what it feels like to know your favorite book is not going to be published, or even written. She stopped right before she got to the meadow scene too, my favorite part of Twilight.
It's no "crap" version, as I've heard it called a couple times by those refusing to have anything to do with it - IT'S THE BEST PIECE OF WRITING IN THE WORLD. Yet the sad thing is, now I feel like Twilight, the best published book in the world, is incomplete without it. Edward's POV just dives so deep! Like the part in Twilight when they're driving back from Port Angeles and Edward has just divulged to Bella, and she's firing questions at him:
//"Don't laugh - but how can you come out during the day?"
He laughed anyway. "Myth."
"Burned by the sun?"
"Sleeping in coffins?"
"Myth." He hesitated for a moment, and a peculiar tone entered his voice. "I can't sleep."//
Then it goes on to say that he looked at her with a wistful expression, but then looks away and he starts talking about "the most important question" and you know the rest.
But what on the other side of the coin? The magic behind the mask is this: Edward watches as she sleeps each night, and on that one sunny day when she fell asleep outside. He thinks about her, and listens to her speak in her dreams. She dreams about him, asking him to never leave. He feels wistful now because in this moment, for the first time, he wishes he could sleep. He wishes he could dream about her, so that in those serene moments he could be with her as long as it is night. (And it is always midnight in his world, but her presence is like a rising sun in his life, as he thought one night while watching her. His whole universe has shoot to revolve around her, and so she is the sun admist his midnight.) He wishes to be with her in his dreams, because there, perhaps this relationships he longs for could exist, though in real life he knows it could never be. Run, Bella, run. Stay, Bella, stay.Is what's constantly on his mind because he loves her and cannot stand to be without her, yet he knows he's not safe for her. He wants her to leave, to be safe, but he wants her to remain beside him always. He knows he should go away and never return, but he can't.
This is only a tiny portion, and not even the best of what the whole draft is like. It made me laugh, it made me cry, it kept me up thinking about it at night. I wish Stephenie could understand how this makes us feel. And I wish more than anything that she would continue to enchant us with her unequivocally expressive and talent-filled version of Twilight from the POV of the vampire who she "fell in love with since day one", and who I fell in love with more with each page.
~*You are my life now*~