JazzGirl-First off, I'm sorry about what you had to go through, and that's a troubling subject for me, to say the least.
But as to your discussion of why the novels are challenged, I never read any complaints about Bella and her percived choice of death over life. Not to say that it may've been mentioned, but the biggest complaints are sexuality and advocating a religious/right wing POV, neither I agree with being as big a problem today as some make it out to be. A guy and girl get married, so sexuality/sensuality will be involved, and often times an author's POV on certian topics will come though. Both are to be expected, so with Bella and Edward being married and romantially involved, and with Stephenie making no bones about her religious upbringing, what's with the surprise(by the way, Stephenie doesn't strike me as an overly-fundimentalist right wing religious person, just to clarify that).
Adolesecents and teens now are a lot smarter than what adults give them credit for. How many times have teenagers and even pre-teens handled dangerous or frightening situlations? And we also gotta remember, going back to Speak, and even Panic Room that Kristen Stewart was 13 and 11 respectivly when she filmed those movies, and everyone who's met her as a teen or adult say that she's way more mature than her age indicates. So give kids and teens some credit, and how would you rather them find out about concepts such as love and such-in a tasteful manner, like in the Twilight novels and films, or from smut and sources that are far more questionable for novels written for a target audience who's within a year or two of being teenagers?
Audi, Twilight, Cher, Pink Floyd, symphonic/progressive rock, KStew, RP, Bio-Booster Armor Guyver-what's not to like
Team Renesmee, Team Bella, Team Edward.
Fan fic stories: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2192109/