Edward Cullen #5

[ringswraith]

Edward saw himself as a monster long before Bella came into the picture. Remember when he was telling Bella of his history in Twilight? He left Carlisle to be on his own for a while, hunting the hunters, thinking that by saving their prey, surely he wouldn't be so terrible a person. But he eventually relents, seeing the monster in his own eyes, taking the lives of so many humans...

I don't think he was content with his lot in life, before meeting Bella. He made do with what he had at the time. He found some pleasure with his family, and his role as protector of their secrets; he loved music, and threw himself into many things over the years... But there was always something missing that even he didn't realize, until Bella came into his life.

[diane771]

No I don't agree with you, Edward never was content with his life, and he always thought that he was a monster. Bella asked him questions about himself, and he told her right up front that he thought of himself as a monster, and that was something he did not want to be, and something that he was battling all his vampire existence. Edward was a very humble person and I n't agree with everything you're saying but you make great points - I do still believe Edward was content before Bella - I say that because he didn't try to measure his existence to other humans only to his own kind it was Bella that made him see himself as a monster (in the deepest sence). But I do agree that he wasn't happy about being a vampire but Edward wasn't as humble back when he was young and turned he wanted to fight a war and was only waiting until he was old enough to do it, he wanted to prove himself and didn't get the chance; that bothers him and he has not changed from the young man wanting to do great things to he heroic. You need to remember that when Bella talks - it's her view not Edwards - he only tells her what he wants her to know and he doesn't want her to believe that being a vampire is good on any level. But we know she does already because she is afraid of losing him and very afraid of getting old. Yes, Edward is a perfectionist and if you know perfectionist they are always trying to be better even if they are perfect already. NO - I don't think Edward is perfect but I do love the fact he's trying - and I know he didn't consider himself perfect (far from it) - from trying to keep Bella human and be with her - Edward wasn't always so negative it was his love for Bella that made him come across so negative and it's also from Bella's POV.

Great response - Thanks - A&E[/quote]

That is a new perspective I never thought that Edward was content and he always thought that he was a monster. As far as
Bella goes she was the one who believed in his goodness and let him see himself in a different light. Edward was not just telling her to convince her not to want to be a vampire this was long before that was even a suggestion. In Midnight Sun you see how dark and alone Edward is, but even with out that you have all the Cullen's saying how Edward was leading basically an non existence and that Bella had awaken something inside Edward that was gone from him. He opened up to her and even with his flaws she fell in love and so did he. But he wasn't trying to convince her of anything. I think when she told him she wanted to become a vampire he thought she was crazy but that was after . Edward was a torn soul, just existing with some few things over the years to occupy his time but not something to be contented with. He tried to lead a good life but he never thought of himself as anything but a monster till Bella came into his life. Yes Edward is trying to exist but his negativity left when Bella came in remember "YOU ARE MY LIFE NOW" ( love that line) because he didn't have one to say before Bella.

[Dovrebanen]

4 days and no Lex. I feel the craving I have to respond to this! And you guys have kept quiet all weekend in this topic, I see.

That is a new perspective I never thought that Edward was content and he always thought that he was a monster. As far as
Bella goes she was the one who believed in his goodness and let him see himself in a different light. Edward was not just telling her to convince her not to want to be a vampire this was long before that was even a suggestion. In Midnight Sun you see how dark and alone Edward is, but even with out that you have all the Cullen's saying how Edward was leading basically an non existence and that Bella had awaken something inside Edward that was gone from him. He opened up to her and even with his flaws she fell in love and so did he. But he wasn't trying to convince her of anything. I think when she told him she wanted to become a vampire he thought she was crazy but that was after . Edward was a torn soul, just existing with some few things over the years to occupy his time but not something to be contented with. He tried to lead a good life but he never thought of himself as anything but a monster till Bella came into his life. Yes Edward is trying to exist but his negativity left when Bella came in remember "YOU ARE MY LIFE NOW" ( love that line) because he didn't have one to say before Bella.

I very much agree with you diane771 and ringswraith. I love that quote to by the way, diane. In my opinion Edward was never content with his life before Bella. He felt the need to rebel against Carlisle for a while, because of the restraint that was put upon him. After a few years her realized that by doing that he was giving in to the monster he saw in himself. When he returned to Carlisle he was able to contain the predator in him (at least the side that hunted humans), but still I don't think he was able to let go of that view of himself as a monster.
I also agree that before Bella, Edward was bored in life. He had all this time on his hands, and no one to share it with. So of course he would end up being excellent in music, and have a brilliant mind because he had all this time to study, and he had an enhanced memory. And I think he loved his music, and he loved his books. And he loved the feeling of speed when he was running or driving his car. But I see this as ways of trying to feel alive in a half-empty existence. Even if he didn't consciously say it, I think he was very lonely. And he didn't see any reason why anyone besides his family should love him.

And about Edward only telling Bella what he wants her to hear about being a vampire. Well, we then need to ask ourselves, why does he want her to believe that there is nothing good about being a vampire? I will say that that is because for 80 years he walked around as a vampire, and he could see almost nothing good about it. It was a lonely existence, filled with the craving to kill people, the need to hide who you are, to move a lot and never really bond with anyone and to have all this physical changes to your body, and you couldn't even go out in the sunlight without exposing yourself. To always have to pay attention to what you do, to make sure that no one suspects what you really are. It was not an existence he wanted for Bella because that was what he had lived through before he met her. So I don't think he was ever really content with being a vampire before he met Bella. And I think he wasn't truly able to admire himself before he had Nessie and Bella by his side, and he saw the family he had created and their happy forever.

[funkidiva]

I think Edward must have been a lonely man and not content with his life before Bella as he is surrounded by his family who are all coupled up yet he is always alone, for many many years. Along comes Bella and turns his world upside down, for the better I think. The amount of self control though he always has to have around Bella must be so difficult to deal with and what a strain to bear. I like it though that he is "touchy feeley" with Bella by stroking her face etc. so even though he knows their love is doomed and will always be a struggle he cant resist her and shows his love with the little touches and strokes of Bella's face, despite his better judgement. He is definately a gentleman and shows respect and is very intelligent and wise to the world but cautious at the same time. He is very strong willed and minded and also physically but I think he is vulnerable too and shows this in how lightly he touches Bella and how protective of her he can be at times. Definately a very interesting character.

[amethyst]

Hm . . . I suppose I am in the minority to share this perspective, but I do believe that Edward was perfectly content with his life (to an extent), or with what he was given pre-Bella. “. . . just because we’ve been . . . dealt a certain hand . . it doesn’t mean that we can’t choose to rise above -- to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted. To try to retain whatever essential humanity we can.” . . . while this quote doesn’t precisely tell us that Edward was content with the fate that he was given, I am not sure he ever regretted that Carlisle had saved him, either. He said as much to Bella . . . But still, I am not sure “content” is the right word here to use because that would mean that I think that he was happy but he wasn‘t entirely so. I do agree that he felt very lonely and that he thought life was unfair . . . I guess what I am trying to say is that he accepted his fate and much like Carlisle tried to make the best of it thus “content” in a very loose relation to the meaning of the word.

[diane771]

I don't think Edward was content at all, he had accepted it because there wasn't a choice. He did tell Bella about the Volturi and they could kill a vampire and that was the only way he knew of. Carlisle and his family gave him some peace, because he wasn't all alone in the sense that he had his kind around him, but he didn't have a partner or soul mate. His life was just there, and then came Bella and it was like getting struck by lighting, like the first dawn you ever saw. Bella changed his life completely, he now had a purpose and that was Bella You are my life So adapting to your life, and being content with it, is something different, and I don't believe that Edward was content with being a vampire ever.

[Jazz Girl]

Hm . . . I suppose I am in the minority to share this perspective, but I do believe that Edward was perfectly content with his life (to an extent), or with what he was given pre-Bella. “. . . just because we’ve been . . . dealt a certain hand . . it doesn’t mean that we can’t choose to rise above -- to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted. To try to retain whatever essential humanity we can.” . . . while this quote doesn’t precisely tell us that Edward was content with the fate that he was given, I am not sure he ever regretted that Carlisle had saved him, either. He said as much to Bella . . . But still, I am not sure “content” is the right word here to use because that would mean that I think that he was happy but he wasn‘t entirely so. I do agree that he felt very lonely and that he thought life was unfair . . . I guess what I am trying to say is that he accepted his fate and much like Carlisle tried to make the best of it thus “content” in a very loose relation to the meaning of the word.

Amethyst~ Absolutely. I think you have the way of it. It was never a matter of him being happy. We know that wasn't so, even after he found Bella. I don't think he was truly happy until the end of Breaking Dawn. But, I believe that, before he encountered Bella, he had accepted his lot in life, learned to find some sort of contentment and peace in it. But, once Bella came along, she turnede that completely on it's side. It is as he tells her, before she came along, his life was a dark night. She blazed into his life like a meteor, illuminating every dark corner. Before her, he was searching for something, but did not know that he was searching because he did not know what was missing. Once she came along and illuminated the possibilities of what his life could be, he discovered the one person that would make his life worth everything he had given up for it.

[diane771]

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[funkidiva]

I think amethyst amkes a good point actually. Thinking about it you can see that Edward has got on with the fact he is a vampire (after his rebelling period was over near the beginning of his vampire life), accepted it and dealt with it. He thought he was happy, that is until Bella came along which made him realise that now he is fully happy and before there was something missing. Hmm...

[diane771]

I think amethyst amkes a good point actually. Thinking about it you can see that Edward has got on with the fact he is a vampire (after his rebelling period was over near the beginning of his vampire life), accepted it and dealt with it. He thought he was happy, that is until Bella came along which made him realise that now he is fully happy and before there was something missing. Hmm...

Edward was never happy being a vampire. He says that, his own family says that also. Edward was in no way content about being a vampire. He accepted it but found no happiness, everything he told Bella and by reading MS all point to that
Edward was a lonely soul who did not come to life until he met Bella. Bella was the one who made him look at himself through different eyes. Bella saw the good in him, Edward only saw the monster.