Edward and Bella 2

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Re: Edward and Bella 2

Postby diane771 » Mon Sep 14, 2009 3:52 am

Sometimes it seems like the world of the wizard of Oz and no I don't think he is this: Edward the wicket witch :lol: Look around you might find some flying monkeys.
Getting back to Edward and Bella now, I do think maybe you are in recovery mode from this weekend so I will let you slip by on that.
I agree, I feel that people who have a realistic understanding and acceptance of themselves tend to be more accepting of others and their perceived flaws. Now, I think we've discussed how both Edward and Bella both have their own insecurities...could this be the root of some of their relationship/boundary issues?

Well anyone who falls in love for the first time is bound to have insecurities, because its new, and with Bella she has seen her parents divorced, and Edward has witness so many relationships, unwillingly with his "gift" of hearing what people really think.
So we can't say that their insecurities come from something abnormal. I believe most people would be cautious, and insecure just for those reasons. Now Bella and Edward did accept each other flaws and all, its only the people on the outside that don't want it to happen. There is of course Jacob who wants Bella, and Edward's family, because of their secret and possible bad fall out. Even then, Bella and Edward know that the love they feel is forever, and real, and they need to fight for it. Even when they have to fight within themselves, they still come to the same conclusion.
As the saying goes good things never come easy The doubts and their own flaws were minor compared to the love that they shared and that over came both of them.
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Re: Edward and Bella 2

Postby The Dark Knight » Mon Sep 14, 2009 4:16 am

diane771 wrote:Sometimes it seems like the world of the wizard of Oz and no I don't think he is this: Edward the wicket witch :lol: Look around you might find some flying monkeys.
Getting back to Edward and Bella now, I do think maybe you are in recovery mode from this weekend so I will let you slip by on that.

****Yah I can see some flying monkeys and I'm pretty sure where they came from... :o What you can't see him in red ruby slippers...I can... :D

I agree, I feel that people who have a realistic understanding and acceptance of themselves tend to be more accepting of others and their perceived flaws. Now, I think we've discussed how both Edward and Bella both have their own insecurities...could this be the root of some of their relationship/boundary issues?
.


Insecurities and miscommunication are often, Ok most often the reason why relationsip have issues. Both E&B just don't know how to demand and give respect to one another. It take most of the four books before they even start to open up and communicate with each other and even then they are both hiding things from one another still. I think that neither of them even have a grasp of what the other ones flaws are and how deep they run. These will be things they have to work out in the future...
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Re: Edward and Bella 2

Postby una » Mon Sep 14, 2009 12:16 pm

The Dark Knight wrote:Insecurities and miscommunication are often, Ok most often the reason why relationsip have issues. Both E&B just don't know how to demand and give respect to one another. It take most of the four books before they even start to open up and communicate with each other and even then they are both hiding things from one another still. I think that neither of them even have a grasp of what the other ones flaws are and how deep they run. These will be things they have to work out in the future...


The most common problem in relationships is communication. However, I saw Bella and Edward working on their issues and communication as early as the end of New Moon and during Eclipse. Bella does a good job of demanding respect when she runs off to La Push and then flees (with Edward quite angry behind her) to Angela's house. Her way of proving a point that Edward cannot control her life without her permission. I think Bella grasps Edward's flaw of over-protectiveness of her...he did leave her, breaking her heart in a effort to protect her. Edward knows about Bella's lack of self-esteem and her desire to be his equal (much to his chagrin). I agree that they have more to work on in their relationship after the end of Breaking Dawn but every relationship continues to grow and change requiring the parties to continue to improve communication and work together.

ETA: Side comment: Just to clarify a couple points made on the past page, I will gently chide and guide publicly to keep us all ( and I do mean all) adhering to the "rules/guidelines" because I believe we can all be mature here and have some wonderful, respectful and insightful discussions. Especially considering that this forum is for mature and serious discussions, a few reminders should be sufficient. However, if you are stepping over the lines...you will be PM'd. Continuing to disregard forum rules and guidelines will have more serious consequences. However, isn't just better if we work to get along??
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Re: Edward and Bella 2

Postby diane771 » Mon Sep 14, 2009 1:38 pm

Maybe I come from a different world but what do you mean by Demand Respect and give it ? I grew up with you respected people period and only when you loss that respect then they would have to GAIN that respect again. All this DEMANDING to me is not right. To have someone respect you isn't because you demand it, its because of who you are as a person and your actions that gain resepect. You can't make a person respect you because you tell them to. You can demand them to treat you a certain way, but you can't control the way they see you as a person, so demanding respect is an oxymoron. Respect- deference felt or shown towards a person or quality. Heed or regard. Regard with deference or esteem
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Re: Edward and Bella 2

Postby The Dark Knight » Mon Sep 14, 2009 5:06 pm

Hi Diane,

The days of respect as a given are long gone, not like when we grew up...Sorry

Deference is a great word, that I like a lot. Much better than respect but most people now days just flat out don't understand the word and it's deeper meanings. Heck I don't even hear it used often anymore...

I have seen respect demanded and forced into being, it usually bet's a side of hate with it when that is done but that can be useful as well. This is not the Greates Generation anymore, sorry to say, we have lost so much in the way of decorum so Demanding respect is valid these days.

Much like Bella had to demand it from Edward who in a lot of ways demanstrates a lack of respect for her, even personal space is not granted to her. He often make life choice that affect her without even consulting with her. Edward is in need of a good refresher course on manors... ;)
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Re: Edward and Bella 2

Postby diane771 » Mon Sep 14, 2009 5:26 pm

[
color=#000000]A person who demands respect isn't a respected man. diane771 September 14, 2009[/color]

So I do not read anywhere in the book that Bella felt the Edward did not respect her or that she did not respect him. And just because we who are on the outside passing judgement on their relationship, should look at it as they do. Bella respects and loves Edward, and Edward loves and respects Bella. Now we can go hashing everything out which I am prepared to do of course, and I bet I could even state what you will bring to the table, but it doesn't matter really if the parties themselves don't feel it.
:D 8-) :twisted:
ps: DK, maybe my quote will be in a cookie one day.
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Re: Edward and Bella 2

Postby una » Mon Sep 14, 2009 6:38 pm

Speaking of manners, and pardon me if my age might show (or my old fashioned upbringing) but our current culture and times lacks much to be desired in the realm of common courtesy and manners. This is why I find Edward so refreshing in some ways. His old mannerisms that come through. Albeit some feel outdated and maybe a tad gender-biased, I do find them lovely. For what appears to be an independent woman, how do you feel Bella appreciated those manners? I feel that she enjoyed them except when it felt stifling for her. For example, when Edward's over-protectiveness reduced her feeling of space and freedom, when he would make choices for her instead of discussing issues with her. However, there some mannerisms that I think she did delight in. What do you think?
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Re: Edward and Bella 2

Postby diane771 » Mon Sep 14, 2009 7:52 pm

Well when Bella fell in love with Edward, he was and always had good manners. When she bearly new him, he saved her from the van and the gang of boys. So I really do think that people over play or bring up Edwards protectivness way out of proportion. Edward was like that from the begining. His ways only grew stronger, but they were there and Bella had to have seen them and I do think that it was part of the reason that she fell in love with Edward. I really do think people fail to see that and only see Edward as overbearing in Eclipse and fail to see how he protected Bella in Twilight.
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Re: Edward and Bella 2

Postby Asheleyo » Mon Sep 14, 2009 11:13 pm

I think the difficult thing with them is that Edward knew and respected Bella's opinion on things, but he felt that her opinion was negated by the danger of certain situations. He felt bad that he had to deny her things that she wanted, but it was all in the name of what he thought was healthy for her, in the sense of what she would actually be able to live through. He never disrespected her on issues that were not related to what he felt were life and death situations.

Bella understood that Edward felt there was danger in some things, and she also respected that opinion. I think that's why it took her so long to really push the Jacob issue. But she was also self-respecting enough to trust her own knowledge of things that Edward didn't have as much information about as she did.

Though, I must say that I don't consider manners and respect the same thing. I think people can be polite and have manners, but not actually respect others.
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Re: Edward and Bella 2

Postby diane771 » Mon Sep 14, 2009 11:36 pm

No you can be very polite to someone that you don't respect. The only thing that Edward did not or tried not to let Bella get her way with was "her safety" other than that Bella had Edward wrapped around her finger. Bella being human and Edward coming from a world strronger and more dangerous that his had to respect and would have been crazy not to respect his opinion and advice on safety. Not unless she was suicidal or the dumbest person on earth. So yes Respect Edward she did, and she should have. Edward was very well mannered when it came to Jacob, I was surprised that he really didn't deck him a few times, but he had manners.
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