Ok…. First off Jazz Girl
apologies if I’m repeating some of you’re excellently made points. I’ll try and not just repeat and instead reinforce by using different evidence and quotes to back it up
Secondly – Like I’m going to allow myself to get angry over a debate on a board!
I do this for fun not to stress myself out. Life’s too short! Say what you like you’re not going to offend me, just be aware I may accidently say something to offend you. Might I suggest that if people’s responses make you angry you might want to take a deep breath and go outside for a bit?
Right here we go:Suicide by definition:
1. the intentional taking of one's own life.
2. destruction of one's own interests or prospects: “Buying that house was financial suicide.”
3. a person who intentionally takes his or her own life.
Not once does Bella intend on taking her own life. In fact she states the object horror at the thought of anyone thinking she would do.
By your definition anyone doing anything dangerous compared to their previous behaviour is suicidal? If Bella had taken part in cliff diving as recreation since she was a little girl is it suicidal? Is it suicidal for Paul et all to cliff dive every weekend?
Suicide is a serious issue and you should not joke about it or compare someone doing dangerous things for an adrenaline rush to someone who would be in a very fragile and emotional state of mind considering doing something so rash.
Her behaviour may be perceived as “Martyrdom complex” but as she states she thinks she is doing the best thing at the time to protect the people she loves. I’m not saying going to the ballet studio alone was a smart thing to do but she believed she was doing the best she could to save her family. She acted out of love and fear, two very powerful emotions which would cause many people to make uninformed decisions.
As Jazz Girl stated I’m not saying Bella has the highest levels of self esteem in the world. This is what makes her such an endearing character - because she’s not full of herself.
She doesn’t immediately latch on to Jacob. She withdraws into herself during a grieving process (which I’m coming on to) which lasts a considerable amount of months before even contemplating being able to hang out with anyone socially again. She needed a friend. I wonder if you would make the same comparison if she had become quickly attached to say Angela and wanted to spend a considerable amount of time watching chick flicks or gossiping because it made her smile and helped bring some sense of normality back to her life?Grief
Bella was grieving. She grieved for the loss of the only man she ever loved, the world she came close to having and the large family she never had. Everyone deals with grief and emotional trauma differently. To try and generalise someone’s emotional response to something into “normal” or “natural” response is small minded, ignorant, childish and frankly cruel.
There is no “right” way to deal with any situation. It depends very greatly on the personality of the person, the situation, and their support network. Just because someone’s response would be different from yours doesn’t mean it’s not the right one. I have seen one of my best friends fall to pieces when splitting up with her boyfriend and on the other hand I have seen another friend deal with sexual abuse with more dignity and respect than I could ever hoped to have believed.
You cannot define “unspeakable horror” because everyone will deal with situations differently. Bella emotionally and mentally breaks down BECAUSE she is grieving.
And on a side note, not wanting to stoop to your level but just an interesting question: Since when was rage a “healthy” response to anything?Attraction
I’m happy for you and your fiancée (congrats on the baby by the way
) Likewise I could sit here and tell you everything that attracts me to the person I care about. Really little tiny things that maybe no-one else notices but I do. But I still couldn’t explain that little jump my heart does when I see his name or hear his voice. Or the sadness when he’s not around. It’s attraction. It’s inexplicable and therein lays the magic of it.
I don’t think attraction needs explaining. We don’t want to explain it, we just want to embrace it and enjoy it. I don’t need SM to tell me all the reasons why Bella and Edward are attracted to each other and love each other. Although she does give us MORE than enough examples throughout the four books. (And Midnight Sun)
And your honestly telling me (again Jazz Girl sorry for repeating your brilliantly made point, just want to hammer it home) that your fiancée has never done or said something amazing and you’ve wondered if even for a second “What have I ever done to deserve her?”
Also Bella and Edward do compromise. They do it rather beautifully in my opinion considering how stubborn they both are. Yes it takes them a little while to get to that point but I challenge you to find me a couple that would be able to do that right from the off. (Hint: They’re probably in the same place as that 17 year old girl who has never felt low self esteem
)Bella’s intelligence, specifically her reading habits
Again Jazz Girl really sorry – you beat me to the punch with the response!
I’ll bullet point so as not to bore everyone
1) Her “dog-eared” books are one of the few possessions she took to the cottage
2) The short stories she reads trying to distract herself from Edward despite having read them “Countless times”
3) The continual references to Heathcliff and Cathy in Eclipse where she literally DOES quote the book to Edward
Also I don’t claim Bella to be an academic. I believe her to be intelligent in both an academic sense but also emotionally. As I have gone into a fair amount of detail about her selflessness I’m not going to repeat myself. Selflessness is a very rare trait in someone of a young emotional age. For a 17 year old to so consistently put others before herself (whatever her reasoning may be although more often than not it is love) puts her on a much older emotional age range which in my eyes makes her intelligent. Also she understands people. She doesn’t get angry when Charlie grounds her – she knows she deserves it and accepts her punishment graciously. Bella is a very mature person for the most part.
Lets see what delightful responses we hear back from this! Keep smiling!