Bella Swan Cullen #3

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Re: Bella Swan Cullen #3

Postby Jazz Girl » Tue Jun 30, 2009 1:53 pm

The Dark Knight wrote:Here's a thread that might be fun to explore. What's up with Bella's obsession with Edward, seeing every detail, all those waking moments of frustration? Does this really happen? Have any of you experienced this? Insight anyone?


I think it is completely natural. Especially with the extenuating circumstances of their relationship. But, even for me, I know when I met husband, I spent several weeks just sort of watching him out of the corner of my eye. We lived in the same dorm, across the hall from each other my freshman year at university. We met first when he helped me carry my 9,412 boxes to the dumpster when no one else would. We made small talk. That was it. Nothing monumental. Except that I had this...feeling. It wasn't love at that point, but just a ...draw...an attraction to him...not physical (though he's quite the yummy). But, my eyes would just kind of seek him out. When we were both in the dining hall, or would leave for class around the same time. I could pick him out of a crowd at a good 100 feet just because of the things I saw in him. I could spot his walk, the way his body swayed, almost immediately. He's a runner, so he has a very specific carriage to him. I noticed the most minute details. I remember him helping me study for a biology test one night(how's that for irony). We spent about an hour going over genus and species. I couldn't get it, even though I knew it like the back of my hand. I kept getting distracted by his eyes. He has the most beautiful blue eyes that have all these different colored flecks in them. I can tell you now where each color is in his eyes. And, all the little laugh lines... told me he loved to laugh. So, I would try to make him laugh.

And he tells me he did the same thing. I had short hair then and he was fascinated by the way my hair fell in my eyes. The first time he touched me, he pushed my bangs out of my eyes. He told me that after about 6 minutes of studying, I would get frustrated and start blowing it out of the way. A strange thing to notice, but he was exactly right. I still do that to this day.


Angelvamp wrote:
ringswraith wrote:It's not just romantic relationships, either. We know things about our friends that no one else would. Not secrets or the like, but little things like the above. It doesn't even have to be a person; we can easily obsess over things. I know when I get obsessed over a videogame, I read all I can about it. :ugeek:


I'm not sure I agree with you on obsession of this sort being extended to other relationships. You see what you want to see, especially with your friends or family. I had a friend in high school and we hit it off immediately and were friends for years. It took me 2 or 3 months to realize she had a lazy eye. In fact, I don't think I even realized it, she asked me why it didn't bother me. I honestly didn't notice, because her other traits were so much more important to me. But perhaps that just means I am especially unobservant.


Or could it be that because you had that connection, are such good friends, that it just never registered because you didn't see it as a flaw, as anything different? That's the beauty of loving people that way, be they friends or partners. Sometimes, what others see as flaws or different, we just see as a part of them and their beauty to us.

Bella always saw herself as plain, unremarkable at best. But, to Edward, she was the most beautiful creature in the world. What she saw as her flaws; her flat plain brown eyes and pale skin, Edward saw as her most fascinating features; eyes that were so expressive and skin beautiful and untouched by any flaw.
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Re: Bella Swan Cullen #3

Postby Angelvamp » Tue Jun 30, 2009 10:52 pm

Jazz Girl wrote:Or could it be that because you had that connection, are such good friends, that it just never registered because you didn't see it as a flaw, as anything different? That's the beauty of loving people that way, be they friends or partners. Sometimes, what others see as flaws or different, we just see as a part of them and their beauty to us.


LOL...Jazz Girl, thanks for being so generous with your description of my lack of awareness. :) I would say that I never saw it as a flaw, even after it was pointed out to me. I think I may have even been jealous, at one point, that she had such a defining characteristic. I agree, when you love someone their flaws become their strengths. That is a weird but cool thing. And that's why I think it is important for people to become comfortable in their skin, instead of try to prescribe to some ideal that is dictated to them by society, the media, what have you. Maybe that's one of the reasons I don't relate to post-Bella as well. She bought into the ideal that Edward and the Cullens represented and didn't feel satisfied with herself until she was just like them.
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Re: Bella Swan Cullen #3

Postby The Dark Knight » Wed Jul 01, 2009 8:38 am

Jazz Girl wrote:
The Dark Knight wrote:Here's a thread that might be fun to explore. What's up with Bella's obsession with Edward, seeing every detail, all those waking moments of frustration? Does this really happen? Have any of you experienced this? Insight anyone?


I think it is completely natural. Especially with the extenuating circumstances of their relationship. But, even for me, I know when I met husband, I spent several weeks just sort of watching him out of the corner of my eye. We lived in the same dorm, across the hall from each other my freshman year at university. We met first when he helped me carry my 9,412 boxes to the dumpster when no one else would. We made small talk. That was it. Nothing monumental. Except that I had this...feeling. It wasn't love at that point, but just a ...draw...an attraction to him...not physical (though he's quite the yummy). But, my eyes would just kind of seek him out. When we were both in the dining hall, or would leave for class around the same time. I could pick him out of a crowd at a good 100 feet just because of the things I saw in him. I could spot his walk, the way his body swayed, almost immediately. He's a runner, so he has a very specific carriage to him. I noticed the most minute details. I remember him helping me study for a biology test one night(how's that for irony). We spent about an hour going over genus and species. I couldn't get it, even though I knew it like the back of my hand. I kept getting distracted by his eyes. He has the most beautiful blue eyes that have all these different colored flecks in them. I can tell you now where each color is in his eyes. And, all the little laugh lines... told me he loved to laugh. So, I would try to make him laugh.

And he tells me he did the same thing. I had short hair then and he was fascinated by the way my hair fell in my eyes. The first time he touched me, he pushed my bangs out of my eyes. He told me that after about 6 minutes of studying, I would get frustrated and start blowing it out of the way. A strange thing to notice, but he was exactly right. I still do that to this day.
quote]

So your saying this is normal...does it occur often or just once in a lifetime???
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Re: Bella Swan Cullen #3

Postby ringswraith » Wed Jul 01, 2009 12:09 pm

Definitely more than once. Well, I'm applying it to any relationship, romantic or not. And even if we just look at romantic relationships, it's kind of rare that you start and end up with your first love. :)
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Re: Bella Swan Cullen #3

Postby Jazz Girl » Wed Jul 01, 2009 1:41 pm

DK~ I agree with Ringswraith. It can happen many times over the course of a lifetime. Perhaps with partners, between them, it is more intense or more expansive than say with a best friend. But, I think it is human nature. We look for the things that will clue us in to how to interact with people, nonverbal cues. We do that with everyone. But, when it comes to those people we have intense attractions to, we just catalogue them more closely and completely. I think.

AngelVamp~ You're welcome. Interesting reasoning behind your feelings for VampBella. I guess I always saw it as finally finding the skin she was born to have, rather than aspiring to some higher ideal. But, you do have a point. She never thought she was strong enough or beautiful enough to be with Edward until she was transformed. Food for thought.
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Re: Bella Swan Cullen #3

Postby The Dark Knight » Thu Jul 02, 2009 3:55 am

Jazz Girl wrote:DK~ I agree with Ringswraith. It can happen many times over the course of a lifetime. Perhaps with partners, between them, it is more intense or more expansive than say with a best friend. But, I think it is human nature. We look for the things that will clue us in to how to interact with people, nonverbal cues. We do that with everyone. But, when it comes to those people we have intense attractions to, we just catalogue them more closely and completely. I think.

AngelVamp~ You're welcome. Interesting reasoning behind your feelings for VampBella. I guess I always saw it as finally finding the skin she was born to have, rather than aspiring to some higher ideal. But, you do have a point. She never thought she was strong enough or beautiful enough to be with Edward until she was transformed. Food for thought.


So, do you think that it happens more in women than men? What I mean is that most of the men I know would not be able to describe things in such detail as Bella does. Thoughts?
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Re: Bella Swan Cullen #3

Postby Angelvamp » Thu Jul 02, 2009 8:25 am

The Dark Knight wrote:So, do you think that it happens more in women than men? What I mean is that most of the men I know would not be able to describe things in such detail as Bella does. Thoughts?


I think, in general, that women are more social than men and more prone to notice certain characteristics in people. Jazz Girl is right about the nonverbal cues and how people process them, especially with people closest to us. However, just because most men don't verbally acknowledge details doesn't mean they don't notice. Humans are social animals, we innately need to forge relationships with others. Men need to form these relationships too, it's just that they aren't so...obvious?...about it.
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Re: Bella Swan Cullen #3

Postby The Dark Knight » Thu Jul 02, 2009 8:33 am

Angelvamp wrote:
The Dark Knight wrote:So, do you think that it happens more in women than men? What I mean is that most of the men I know would not be able to describe things in such detail as Bella does. Thoughts?


I think, in general, that women are more social than men and more prone to notice certain characteristics in people. Jazz Girl is right about the nonverbal cues and how people process them, especially with people closest to us. However, just because most men don't verbally acknowledge details doesn't mean they don't notice. Humans are social animals, we innately need to forge relationships with others. Men need to form these relationships too, it's just that they aren't so...obvious?...about it.


Yes we have whole conversations without saying one intellegable word. Non-verbal and reading of ones energy is often the way men communicate. That being said, the descritive nature of Bella is foriegn to most men...thoughts?
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Re: Bella Swan Cullen #3

Postby Angelvamp » Thu Jul 02, 2009 9:20 am

The Dark Knight wrote:Yes we have whole conversations without saying one intellegable word. Non-verbal and reading of ones energy is often the way men communicate. That being said, the descritive nature of Bella is foriegn to most men...thoughts?


LOL...yes I have been privy to many of those "conversations", especially with my dad. :lol: And there are a hundred meanings and ways to say the word "Dude".

But if a descriptive nature is foreign to "most men", then why are there so many male authors? Poets? Musicians? I think the way men interact with others is the key, not that they are by nature undescriptive. And the subject matter may have something to do with it, too. I have heard my brother and nephew talk for hours about baseball, dissecting every little movement of every player in one play. And football season is coming! I bet half the male population of the US will be rhapsodizing about some quarterbacks sweet spiral or some such (football doesn't interest me all that much, so I tend to tune that stuff out). Don't get me started about cars! GAH! My husband just loves to regale me with every little detail about the cherry '65 Impala he saw the other day, right down to the size of the tires. :roll:
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Re: Bella Swan Cullen #3

Postby The Dark Knight » Thu Jul 02, 2009 9:28 am

Angelvamp wrote:
The Dark Knight wrote:Yes we have whole conversations without saying one intellegable word. Non-verbal and reading of ones energy is often the way men communicate. That being said, the descritive nature of Bella is foriegn to most men...thoughts?


LOL...yes I have been privy to many of those "conversations", especially with my dad. :lol: And there are a hundred meanings and ways to say the word "Dude".

But if a descriptive nature is foreign to "most men", then why are there so many male authors? Poets? Musicians? I think the way men interact with others is the key, not that they are by nature undescriptive. And the subject matter may have something to do with it, too. I have heard my brother and nephew talk for hours about baseball, dissecting every little movement of every player in one play. And football season is coming! I bet half the male population of the US will be rhapsodizing about some quarterbacks sweet spiral or some such (football doesn't interest me all that much, so I tend to tune that stuff out). Don't get me started about cars! GAH! My husband just loves to regale me with every little detail about the cherry '65 Impala he saw the other day, right down to the size of the tires. :roll:


Ok, I agree we do have a great deal of fun with sports, cars, hunting and war. My wife has used the word obsession a few times when it comes to these area's. I guess it better to say in the area that Bella is gushing on about we seem to lack the descriptive ability...they say that women use at least 3 times the amount of words than men...any thoughts?
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