Boys are Confusing

[Pel]

Not understanding someone male? Post about it here.

[Elizabeth]

Does the whole species count?

[gypsyeyes]

Does the whole species count?

hahahahahahaha seconded. And they say we are confusing.

Case story: I had been pining over a guy for over a year. Formal was coming up and I was really excited and as far as I knew he wasn't going with anyone so I was subtly going to ask him to go with me. And he started talking to me more than he used to so I was like SCORE! and then he asked me to the formal and I was very very happy. But before the formal was valentines day and at my school, it runs a fundraiser where you can buy a rose and send it to a classmate. Most everyone who was going with someone had their dates send them roses, but not me. I was very disapointed but was ok with it. Until I learned that he had sent a rose to the "queen-bee" of the school, even after she had recently refused a date with him. I was pretty much heartbroken. I cried, ate chocolate, and then was over him. And the whole rose un-gesture thing made me think we were going to the formal just as friends, which was fine by me. But then he asks me out on a date before the formal, and I say yes because I don't want to make things weird and I thought there may be a chance I still like him. Nothing happens on the date......at all. Then the formal is fun. But at the after-party he gets drunk and sleazes on me, but i was like whatever you're drunk. But then just as I was leaving he runs up to me, kisses me on the cheek and says I've been wanting to do that for ages. A few weeks later he asks me out again and I say no because I realised since valentines day I hadn't felt the same way about him. Then he/his friends complain that I broke his heart.

Long story, I know. And there may be a little "girls are weird" thrown in there too. But still. What the fridge-magnet? You send your date a rose, not the person who pubically and dramatically refused you.
Moral of the story: No girl, or anyone for that matter, likes to be second choice.

[Jamiee]

Well I'm a guy, and I don't even understand what he did.

I swear when your dating someone and its valentinse day you get her flowers etc. That's what I do anyway.
Maybe he liked you, but he liked her as well not so much as you just mainly that she is the "Queen Bee" and he would want to date her mainly for image.
And he saw this as a last ditch effort to attempt to get her, but while going out with you it was a pretty dirty thing to do to your girlfriend.
And then he got drunk and tried to sleaze on you? Honestly I don't think he's worth it. If he has done it once, whats to say he wont go and do it again.

I'm sure you can find a guy that will treat you way better then him.

[StupidxLamb]

Guys aren't confusing...they are confused. I totally understand them, it's they who don't understand themselves or US. Which, in the end, makes them act stupidly.

My boyfriend has a lot of female friends. And he feels the need to talk about them with me. Okay. I have guy friends that I sometimes mention, but he's just kind of insensitive! He does things with girls that, if he did them with me, they would be considered a date (he does not treat them the way he treats me, because I obviously get special treatment, but still). Like, he'll go out to eat with a couple of girls. Or he'll go kayaking with just one girl.

And then he has no respect for authority. I'm trying to determine how much of that I can excuse and brush off as simply his male instincts and desire for adventure, and how much I have to blame on immaturity.

[starinatstars03]

gypsyeyes i may have one up on your story.

OKay so there was this guy that i had like for a while he asked me out a couple times before but i always said no because he always did it infront of ours friends and i didn't want to be expected to say yes. so anyways me and him were walking out of school together one day and i told him...well...if you didn't have a gf id prlly still like you. And then he was quiet for a while and was like...im breaking up with ******* and i was like...okay? then we say bye.
A week goes by...he doesn't break up with her. So im extremely confused.
Then one day he comes up to me while im at my locker. And asks me out. Heres exactly how he does it.
"******* broke up with me. So do you want to go out?" I ended up saying yes because im an idiot and all i heard was do you want to go out and none of my friends were around so i didn't feel pressured to give a certain answer. Of course i ended up thinking about it later and was like OMG IM HIS REBOUND!!!! (which wasn't true...we were together for a month and half then he moved away. 7months later we talked on the phone. Of course around that time i was done putting up with and saw him for what he was. a antisocial jerk who doesn't think when he says something.)
Point is. I got asked out *that one time* by the guy BECAUSE HIS GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH HIM. Of course there's a lot more to this story. But thats the basic gyst of it.
Ughh. Boys.

[StickStones&&Techno]

Well, there's this guy that I've liked for like a really longg timee. Like two years ago, he confessed to me that he liked me for a year, but just never had the courage to ask me out. We've been BFF's for about 3 years, and I've liked him taht whole time. This year for Vday, while he was going out with his girlfriend (which is now his ex), he bought me candy without me even askig him or giving him anything in return. I was going out with this guy named Charlie at the time, and we broke up because he though that I was flirting too much with the other guy. Before I started going out with Charlie, Erik, the other guy, was acting all jealous because he was always telling me that instead of talking to him why didn't I go talk to Charlie, but in a joking way. At Christmas, we both gave each other presents. I gave him a picture of the two of us, and he gave me a glass thing filled with candy that said "Merry Christmas".

We didn't see each other very much last year because we didn't have any classes together, but when we saw each other in the halls, he would always stop and talk to me, or walk to me to my class. I had been beginning to think that he actually liked me, when I found out the next day that he was going out with my best friend.

We flirt tons and he's always making me laugh and smiling at me alot.
Do you think he likes me?

[Reverie]

I might as well just post my stupid evil devilish.. ehem.. male experience here. It will most likely carry ovedr to the dating and relationships thread, because well... that is where I'd like the majority of it to be really. Let me start by just calling the male I am talking about Jay, cause it is easier that way.

So I was going out with Jay starting on May 25 of 2008.. but I was good friends with him since that February. He is amazing.. in all honestly, absolutely. We were going out for several months before he broke it off, and yeah.. I knew it was coming I guess, we were doomed from the start with him going to one college and I going to another. It was sudden when he broke up with me.. there was crying.. on both ends.. cause he said he really didn't want to and how we needed it to stop before we got closer than we already were. We still remained good friends after the breakup although it was difficult for us to see eachother again and not be with eachother. He was avoiding me still.. other people suggested that it was hard for him to be around me as well.

Now he is away at college and things have flip flopped.. he is talking with me again like mad. We talk for several hours a day even. He flirts with me all the time.. and no, I am not able to get over him.In my eyes he is amazing, and he said maybe sometime in the future we can try it again, but GR! I don't like it cause I can't tell if he is really missing me as well and it is not something I will flat out ask him. This is all just bad I think. If any luck I'll be able to see him again in about two months.. oy. What should I do?

[gypsyeyes]

We flirt tons and he's always making me laugh and smiling at me alot.
Do you think he likes me?

I think maybe since he's really good friends with you, he's put you up on a pedestal. He may like you, but he probably thinks you don't like him that way (boys can be slow like that) or that he isn't good enough for you, knowing how great you are.

Either that, or he doesn't like you as anymore than a friend. Sometimes guys flirt (I'm assuming your talking about sexual innuendo and compliements here otherwise I wouldn't consider it flirting) with girls just because they don't know how else to act around us. We scare them. Having a good friend of the opposite sex can get a little awkward that way. You just need to brush of the stupid things

Either way, it has been my experience that the best way to deal with guys is the straitforward approach. Then give them some time to process.

Jamiee: Thanks for the support. It was a past event that I've put well behind me. Moving on to bigger and brighter things

[HazedInDeadlyPollen]

Okay,I'm not sure if I should put this in the vent forum,but I feel like I need help with this so I'll go on.

Well two years ago I moved to a new city and started meeting new people.it was the beginning of the year and I got really good grades for the first half of the quarter.so I got moved to the much smaller honors class.I didnt know anyone so I mostly remained quiet.so a couple days of being in a new class this boy named nick started to talk to me.my friend michelle moved from regular classes to honors with me a couple days after I did so she becomes friends with nick too.he makes me laugh histerically and I really enjoy his company.All through out the year I only talk to him and michelle.near the end of the year michelle tells me nick likes me.I blow it off trying to keep us as friends but nick never says anything to me.next year I have the same class but michelle moves.but this year nick didnt talk to me.I basically started over with my class and talk to different people.nick still doesn't talk to me.around half way through the year,my friend yasmen tells me nick likes me.the same day one of nick's friends comes over to me and tells me nick likes me.the next day yasmen asks if I like nick and I say no( but at this point I kinda do but I'd never admit it).I start to talk to nock occasionally but we're still distant.near the end of the year I ask nick if we're still friends(and frankly I don't know what possessed me to ask but he was sitting right next to me.)he says yes and I asked why I asked.all I say is that we don't talk as much.he asked if I wanted him to talk to him more.I say its fine.Schools going to start again soon and I really don't want to lose him as a friend.he also said at one point that he liked some other girl but it seemed so far fetched and he said he liked her for a long time.so I'm just plain confused and some help would be nice please.or have I just made a mess of things.