Funny Stories

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Re: Funny Stories

Postby Jasper<3 » Sun Feb 15, 2009 6:15 pm

sarah-belle wrote:So me and the rest of my track team were sitting in the parking lot, stretching after practice this morning, and this car pulls up. This lady gets out and she's wearing this super low-cut v-neck shirt with her boobs hanging out, rolled up jeans, and 5 inch red stilletos, and she had really bad, overly dyed and processed hair. She's like, "Excuse me, do you know where 7-On-7 (this, like, peewee football league) is playing?" We all pretty much just sit there and stare at her in awe. She TOTALLY did NOT look like she was about to go to a football game. So then my coach tries to give her directions to where they might be playing. It took FOREVER because she wasn't the brightest person. And she's like, "Okay, thanks. Are y'all cheerleaders?" We're like, "....Uh, no....we're runners." and she goes, "Oh. Well, this is what cheerleaders turn into! So y'all just keep running and stay nice and toned!" So she gets in her car and leaves. And we all burst into laughter. My coach was like, "I thought she was going to get out of the car and start yelling, 'I'm gonna kill my ex-husband!' or something like that." It was the most random thing EVER.


:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Funny Stories

Postby debussygirl » Sun Feb 15, 2009 9:14 pm

Well, those on the unitedness thread liked this one so I guess I'll explain it in better detail.
Back in middle school we were selecting people to be the winter dance's prince and princess. So I say to this one girl, "I don't need to be a princess. I already am one."
The girl looks at me with wide eyes and goes, "Really?! What happened?"
So I go into this story about how my grandma was stolen from the royal nursery when she was two and is in actuality the queen of england and that I'm truly the princess of england. And this girl believes every word of it. And I go on about it all day with her until she decides to tell her friend who asks her, "Do you really believe that." Then she had kinda a duhhhh moment.
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Re: Funny Stories

Postby CiaoBella » Wed Feb 18, 2009 9:39 am

^^ Haha, oh man, gullable (or momentarily ditzy?) people make for some of the best stories.

I actually posted this story on the awkward moments thread, but it's probably more funny than awkward...

So this was a few years ago and my parents were making dinner in the kitchen, and as a special surprise they made spinach and artichoke dip (which is one of my favorite appetizers). And here's a bit of advice: if you have a problem with slip-of-the-tongues (or freudian slips, if you will), be very careful when saying the words "spinach and artichoke dip", because if you aren't careful, you can accidentally say the word "dip" as a different word... a slang term that refers to a very specific part of the ummm... male body. *Ahem*). So I come skipping into the kitchen and practically shout (to my parents), "Oh yay, are we having spinach and artichoke d--k?!" :shock: My mom's mouth just fell open, and I must have turned like... seven different shades of red. I wish I could remember who broke the silence, but really all I can remember after that is that I was desperately wishing the floor would open up and swallow me... :oops: :lol:
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Re: Funny Stories

Postby Edward Cullen Fan » Thu Feb 19, 2009 10:56 am

The first time I tried driving, I got the gas pedal and the break mixed up. That was the start of the horrible driving. Eventually I figured it out and stopped and let my mom drive the rest of the way. It was going down our subdivision where we live. But anyways, I took driver's ed later and he basically gave up on me. He said that wasn't ready and that I could watch the others drive and learn from that. Like that'll help. I was the only girl in the car, by the way. Awkward. I think that's at least a little bit of why I went downhill like that. But not entirely. He said that I don't have the attention span (I'm ADD) or the coordination (a klutz) to drive.

I haven't driven since. :lol:
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Re: Funny Stories

Postby Black » Fri Feb 20, 2009 12:05 pm

I was just thinking of something funny that happened a couple years ago.

My cousin was turning 19 or 20 and we were having a little party at her house. Her parents had wrapped her presents and left them on the table so naturally, we were trying to figure out what they were. I think there were two. One was a box and the other was cylindrically shaped. She picked up the tube and started shaking it. "Hmm, it looks like it could be some sort of body spray," she says.

So she starts picking at the wrappings, trying to get a peek and all of a sudden I hear "What the hell... " so I look and she says "It's cheese." Oh, I was laughing so hard I could barely pick myself up off the floor. Turns out, her parents got her crackers and spray cheese for her birthday XD.
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Re: Funny Stories

Postby Black » Sat Feb 21, 2009 4:53 pm

Edward Cullen Fan wrote:The first time I tried driving, I got the gas pedal and the break mixed up. That was the start of the horrible driving.

I'm afraid to drive. I was actually practicing a few months ago though. My mom (worst person to drive with EVER) made me drive to Wal-Mart. We got to the parking lot and she was telling me where to go and I guess I didn't stop at the end of the lane- I just turned to go into the second lane or something... I dunno but all of a sudden my mom like "Goddamnit, Sarah! Stop!!" and I'm like... wtf is your problem? and she's like "You were supposed to stop to see if anything was coming!! Everybody knows that!" I told her that obviously I looked to see if anything was coming... and nothing was... so why should I have to stop? And my mom starts screeching "You almost got us killed!" Yea. Killed by the invisible cars. :roll:
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Re: Funny Stories

Postby Waffle of Doom » Sat Feb 21, 2009 10:24 pm

Black wrote:
Edward Cullen Fan wrote:The first time I tried driving, I got the gas pedal and the break mixed up. That was the start of the horrible driving.

I'm afraid to drive. I was actually practicing a few months ago though. My mom (worst person to drive with EVER) made me drive to Wal-Mart. We got to the parking lot and she was telling me where to go and I guess I didn't stop at the end of the lane- I just turned to go into the second lane or something... I dunno but all of a sudden my mom like "Goddamnit, Sarah! Stop!!" and I'm like... wtf is your problem? and she's like "You were supposed to stop to see if anything was coming!! Everybody knows that!" I told her that obviously I looked to see if anything was coming... and nothing was... so why should I have to stop? And my mom starts screeching "You almost got us killed!" Yea. Killed by the invisible cars. :roll:


That reminds me of my mother. I'm learning to drive and she can't let go of the fact that the first time I was driving (in an empty parking lot no less) I would take the turns too wide, so everytime I make a turn now she grabs the door handle and starts praying under her breath. :roll:
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Re: Funny Stories

Postby Black » Sat Feb 21, 2009 10:27 pm

Yea, I've tried driving across an empty parking lot before and my mom was like "You can't drive across a parking lot!! Oh my god!" and I'm thinking... what in the world is the point of driving up and down the aisles on an empty slab of blacktop?
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Re: Funny Stories

Postby xXBeSafeXx » Thu Feb 26, 2009 10:11 am

Black wrote:Yea, I've tried driving across an empty parking lot before and my mom was like "You can't drive across a parking lot!! Oh my god!" and I'm thinking... what in the world is the point of driving up and down the aisles on an empty slab of blacktop?

Haha...that happens to me all the time. I did it in driver's ed, though. I was like, "I'm not stupid. If there's a car there, I'll go around it, but there's not." :lol:
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Re: Funny Stories

Postby Black » Thu Feb 26, 2009 12:10 pm

Well, if I was driving with an instructor I would pretend to care-- "I love following the rules!! ^.^ "
But once I pass I'd be all *vrooooom! I'm drivin' mah way!* :mrgreen:

I still haven't taken a driving test yet. I took the computer test to get my permit and I passed that... of course, but I've only driven like... 4 times since then and now I have to get a new one. :P

Lol, it was funny. There was a kid beside me when I was taking the test and he kept asking me for the answers. It was like:

- Hey, Hey! What's the answer to this question?
- I don't know...
- Hey, what about this one?
*shrug* - trying to ignore him... if they catch us talking, they'll kick us both out.
- What about this one?
- Dude.. don't ask me. I didn't even open the book, okay?
- Seriously?
- Seriously.
- Damn!
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