Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Postby smitten_by_twilight » Tue Sep 06, 2011 2:03 am

Hmm, I suppose telling her that we don't bite wouldn't help, would it?

I was misled by your screenname with that terminal "a" ... but perhaps the Leah connection should have tipped me off.
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Postby corona » Tue Sep 06, 2011 3:10 pm

Smitten, yes, the Leah's hideaway was intentional. However, I rarely bring up my status as a man since it doesn't make a difference most of the time and I would rather not have to field questions concerning how I view certain aspects of the story "as a man". Press me on that point and I would probably get real snarky. But let me give you a few observations along those lines. As a man, I have enormous respect for Edward and no respect at all for Jacob. My views likely differ little with a lot of the fans here, but my distaste for Jacob is at a real visceral level. He deserved to get his butt kicked at the wedding, and it probably would have done him some good. I tend to be more forgiving of Bella than I should. I forgave Edward for leaving Bella, but I needed him to deal with the consequences, and he did so and took it like a man. Jacob had some things to deal with, but he took it like a spoiled brat, so he gets no respect.

I prefer using the baseball bat rather than the crowbar, which seems to be a favorite of the ladies. The crowbar is deadlier, but more unwieldy. There is more snap in the bat, it has a better grip, more spring in the return after a connection which allows for a second shot. Maybe that is the difference, the ladies seem to view it as a one-shot deal. I never ask which side of the gooseneck end would do the connecting, the blunt side or the claw side; I fear I know the answer.

My screen name corona came about primarily as a kind of eclipse reference. I was also drinking a Corona beer while the stub of a corona sized cigar was sitting in the ashtray, so it was kind of a serendipitous moment. I thought, hey, why not give it a shot, and luckily found no one had taken it yet.

When I first blundered into this thread I think I told a fart joke involving Bella, enchiladas, refried beans, and an open window. After posting it, I looked at it in shame, thinking, that's just what a guy would do, barge into a forum primarily for ladies and post a fart joke. Sometimes I can't help it, though, once the bug gets into my brain. There were so many references to Bella's scent in Midnight Sun that once I made the connection I couldn't get away from it. Sort of like laughing out loud in church -- something strikes you so funny that you can't suppress it anymore, and then as soon as you laugh out loud you feel ashamed and try to disguise it as a cough.
"It will take an amazing amount of control,” she mused. “More even than Carlisle has. He may be just strong enough…the only thing he’s not strong enough to do is stay away from her. That’s a lost cause.”
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Postby Openhome » Tue Sep 06, 2011 11:45 pm

Hmmm... vanilla, huh? I may work on that one. :twisted:

Corona, have you seen this thread?
viewtopic.php?f=76&t=6781&start=20
I would love to have you post your Jacob comments on it. You and Jazz Girl need to get together. You both are the anti-dog bastion of the Lex. :D

And how did that pork go?
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Postby smitten_by_twilight » Wed Sep 07, 2011 12:49 am

corona wrote:However, I rarely bring up my status as a man since it doesn't make a difference most of the time and I would rather not have to field questions concerning how I view certain aspects of the story "as a man". ... But let me give you a few observations along those lines. As a man, I have enormous respect for Edward and no respect at all for Jacob. ... I forgave Edward for leaving Bella, but I needed him to deal with the consequences, and he did so and took it like a man. Jacob had some things to deal with, but he took it like a spoiled brat, so he gets no respect.

I prefer using the baseball bat rather than the crowbar, which seems to be a favorite of the ladies. The crowbar is deadlier, but more unwieldy. There is more snap in the bat, it has a better grip, more spring in the return after a connection which allows for a second shot. Maybe that is the difference, the ladies seem to view it as a one-shot deal. I never ask which side of the gooseneck end would do the connecting, the blunt side or the claw side; I fear I know the answer.


Wow, seriousness in the Gutter. I can do that.

corona, your gender doesn't make a bit of difference to me ... except making me blush about past Gutter exchanges. I will do my best to continue to disregard, as that seems to have worked so far. But I will remember: corona = beer = male.

As a woman, I have enormous respect for Edward, am a little too forgiving of Bella, and much too forgiving of Jacob. In my defense, I think of Edward as a man for dealing with things the way he did, and think of Jacob as very much a boy ... more than a boy, a guy, not in a complimentary way. My forgiveness of Jacob is, he was a brat, but he's just a child. My experience with males in general leads me to suspect that would be an undesirable assessment.

Also as a woman, we tend not to believe that we will get a second shot at a preemptive physical assault unless we make the first one count ... hence the crowbar. :club:

Do check out the Gender Divide thread if interested. I'm positive Chernaudi would be happy about extra interest there.

Kayla ... vanilla ... oh, I'm torn between being afraid of what image you'll come up with ... and being curious. :twisted:
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Postby corona » Wed Sep 07, 2011 11:00 am

Kayla, the pork was sensational, and the food was pretty good too. :D

Ugh. I didn't want to post on the Gender Divide because I didn't want to get pigeon-holed into answering questions from a male perspective. Practically every observation I have had here has been echoed by other ladies, so it is mostly pointless.

However, I will make an exception. It might take a week or so for the posting.

And I have to make a confession. One of the reasons I loathe Jacob is because I was a lot like him when I was young. Raging hormones and testosterone and self-absorption and all. I found Jacob's depiction shockingly realistic until the imprinting, and then I totally lose all respect for him as he throws away his one chance to demonstrate some maturity.

I will tell you that one aspect of being a man is that I find it impossible to see his reaction at the wedding as something that is primarily based on her safety instead of her deflowering by Edward while she is still human. There is something about the male psyche that immediately recognizes the sexual nature of that scene, while females tend to give Jacob more slack. Take it for what it is. If real male humans had been around and witnessed what Jacob had done, there would have been a bloodbath. Jacob's constant reckless brinkmanship is extremely distasteful to men, because it is a constant challenge to ever other male; the remedy for that is a beating. I loathed him for calling Sam a coward, who was the only demonstrably real man in that pack.
"It will take an amazing amount of control,” she mused. “More even than Carlisle has. He may be just strong enough…the only thing he’s not strong enough to do is stay away from her. That’s a lost cause.”
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Postby cullengirl » Wed Sep 07, 2011 4:04 pm

:wave: Glad to the Gutter has been alive and well since the last time I checked.

As Openhome knows, I have very strong opinions about Breaking Dawn and the direction where SM took her characters. It took me a while to realize and appreciate Jake as a character. I couldn't help but comment on the quote below and give Jake's point of view or at least what I believe he's trying to do.

corona wrote:And I have to make a confession. One of the reasons I loathe Jacob is because I was a lot like him when I was young. Raging hormones and testosterone and self-absorption and all. I found Jacob's depiction shockingly realistic until the imprinting, and then I totally lose all respect for him as he throws away his one chance to demonstrate some maturity.


Ah, Jake, my saving grace when I wanted to knock Edward out with a crowbar for trying to make the "best decisions" for Bella. It is true that Jake is your average teen boy with the hormones and all. He's not perfect by any means. He loves easily, is completely reckless but I can't blame him for the imprinting. I place that blame on the creator of his character and how his species is defined. Jake has no input whatsoever when it comes to imprinting. It's predestined for him, something which I don't think he fully comprehended until it happened to him. Looking from the outside in, it easy to tell someone to fight it which is where the comment of calling Sam a coward is probably coming from. I, personally, wanted to throw the book across the room when his imprinting happened. Jake's character evolved throughout the first three books. He was completely patronized in the end and when he finally took the responsibility as an alpha, it was really was all for naught. His voice, desires, and freedom were all snatched and sacrificed for Bella to have her "happy ending".
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Postby VolturiGirl » Wed Sep 07, 2011 4:33 pm

Corona,
I didn't know you were a guy. How awesome.! I would love to read your fart joke. :twisted:


I had a thought last night about Renesmee. I will try to ask this as delicate as I can. Don't ask me why this thought popped in my head.

Being half vampire half human has given her vampire skin. I will assume that all her other "parts" are vamirish. (?) When she is old enough to have a pirate ship sail into her harbor, could it be possible for a human male to park his ship or would it be only possible with Jacob who is immortal?

The reason I ask is because the Denali women like human men but I wonder if the Denali's "were not flowered" when they turned thus making it possible for them.
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Postby corona » Wed Sep 07, 2011 4:56 pm

VolturiGirl, that is a delicate question. I'll give you my opinion.

Since we know what the customs of the Denali vamps were like, then the answer is YES.

But since we know what the physiology of the canon world is like, then the answer is NO.

[Vampire skin and membrane are like stone, completely impervious to any human effort to alter its shape. Edward and Bella, yes although dangerous. Mike Newton and Tanya, don't think so.]

**************

Truthfully, the answer is YES, but exactly why that is even possible is something only SM can speak on. You might have to goad Alphie into answering, she may have had a discussion on that subject with SM in the past. In my opinion, that is a case of a logical contradiction that doesn't have an explanation.

**************

The harbor of a female vamp is nestled in a treacherous reef that has claimed the lives of numerous sailors, the remains of their broken ships strewn across the shore. And yet those noble sailors still try.

And the pirate Blackbeard may be a tough old rogue, but he is still sailing in a wooden ship.
"It will take an amazing amount of control,” she mused. “More even than Carlisle has. He may be just strong enough…the only thing he’s not strong enough to do is stay away from her. That’s a lost cause.”
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Postby Openhome » Wed Sep 07, 2011 10:22 pm

VolturiGirl and Corona,
I will work on Alphie for that one, but we have discussed it on the science thread. The outcome wasn't good. The passage for the ship was rather narrow and couldn't be widened.

This is something I posted on the fanfic thread, and they thought I should post it here because it has something to do with the Gutter. For those who don't read fanfic, lemon=baking (serious and detailed baking).

I made my favorite baked chicken recipe tonight, and about half-way through, I started giggling and just couldn't stop. It got so bad my children came in to check on me, which only made it worse. You'll understand why.

The recipe is fairly normal. You make a rub of salt, pepper and thyme, oil the skin and coat the chicken. Easy. Now for the fun part, and I quote:

Using oil, thoroughly lubricate the chicken cavity. Take one large, firm lemon and shove into the cavity. If it is too large, you will need to spread the legs wide and push hard.

I nearly died, and now my children are worried about my sanity, and you are the ONLY people who will understand why I couldn't stop laughing. Fanfic has ruined me. :lol:
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Postby smitten_by_twilight » Thu Sep 08, 2011 3:38 am

VolturiGirl wrote:Being half vampire half human has given her vampire skin. I will assume that all her other "parts" are vamirish. (?) When she is old enough to have a pirate ship sail into her harbor, could it be possible for a human male to park his ship or would it be only possible with Jacob who is immortal?


You don't have to explain why this popped into your head, it has occurred to me too, although not for Renesmee. Is the term "maidenhead" sufficiently PG-13 for the thread? Would under-20s even know this archaic term?

Have you ever noticed that most women (including Bella!) have lost their virginity before they were turned? Could this have been a factor in Edward's agreement to their compromise? (Can you imagine anything worse than eternity with an impenetrable or always-healing maidenhead? OK, eternally pregnant is worse, but not by much. Maybe that's why Jane is such a witch.) While that part has been known to fray in athletic girls prior to deflowering, it is by no means a sure strategy.

My guess is: Not unless she gets it to fray some other way. Nor would Jacob have much advantage - his skin is not hard (well not that way), he merely heals quickly. It might be possible to try some type of surgical procedure using venom to permanently remove it ... if a sharp enough tool could be devised. Or perhaps Renesmee will be one of the small percentage of girls born without a maidenhead. The narrowness of the passage would be tricky but potentially more workable ... that passage is meant to widen when necessary, after all.

It becomes more clear to me why Stephenie has not written Renesmee's story yet!
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