Good morning all~
Yes, it's been a long few days since I was last here. Sadly, I look back at that post and wish desperately that I'd been right. It seems as if the world has changed significantly since then. I suppose I should start by apologizing that I have been MIA. As most of you know, I have been glued to FB and many of the blogs trying to follow and unravel this craziness. I suppose that, to some, it does seem ridiculous to feel so invested in people we do not know personally, who have no idea of our individual existence, and who are public figures about whom we do not know other than what they show. And, yes, it feels like this has gone on a bit longer than it should, it has consumed so much time and energy. I think so many within the fandom are just ready for it to be over and to start moving on.
One reason I think it has continued for what feels like forever is the delayed nature of the revelations. It started Monday night with the leaks that hit like a bomb. By the time the dust settled Wednesday and the full "story" had been revealed and we had some confirmation, people were just trying to process and accept. I think the furor would have died down to contemplation and moving on if the full photographic evidence hadnt hit yesterday. That stirred everything back to chaos. With the original published pictures, it was a bit easier to maybe believe Kristen's statement of a temporary indiscretion and her apology and sadness. People wanted to believe it, be able to chalk it up to a mistake made in the heat of a moment and one which she regretted profoundly. So, they were willing to do so, for the most part. But, once the full compliment of pictures hit, it was impossible to do so. And, I honestly believe that a large part of people's anger was due to the fact that they felt like she was just trying to continue the lie, continue playing all involved for fools. The whole first-public-admission as a part of the apology viewed in light of those photos.... It was too much. People reacted harshly, angrily. And, truthfully, I feel the anger was justified.
The excuses of it being a mistake and a symptom of youth do not wash with me. A mistake is an unintentional action which has negative consequences. There was nothing unintentional about her behavior. Not only did she make a repeated intentional decision to act, and also to hide her actions, she made a concious decision to lie about them. A mistake is spilling the milk at breakfast or forgetting an appointment. Behaving in a sexual way with a person other than your committed partner, no matter how long that relationships has been going on, and then actively hiding it and lying to people about it is cheating. Let's call it what it is. And, youth is not and should not be a factor. If you are old enough to know the difference between right and wrong, you are old enough to know better. Rob was not cheating on her (and I'm sorry but the assertion that we cant be sure he never has because we don't truly know them seriously burns me), wasn't abusing her, and only ever played the devoted and doting partner. No, we don't know that there wasn't tension or arguments between them. I assume they had the same issues as any young couple, and yes, they are complicated by the scrutiny under which they lived. But, if you love someone, if you are committed enough to share your life in ways like living together, travelling together, supporting each other's professional accomplishments, and sharing friends and family, you are commited enough to work through issues like a grown up and you should sure as hell know that ANY level of physical infidelity is wrong, period.
Please do not mistake me. I do not place the full blame on Kristen at all. There were two people in that car, in that park, embracing each other, kissing each other, and all the other things I wish I could beach out of my brain. Rupert Sanders is equally as culpable as Kristen. He had a wife and has children. He acted as atrociously as she did and I am equally as disgusted by his behavior as hers. And, if I followed his career and was involved in his fandom, I would rail against him. But I don't and I'm not so it makes no sense to do so other than to place blame equally at his feet.
Neither do I accept the assertion that his age, marital status or position as Kristen's director places any more culpability on his shoulders. Age and marital status do not make the offense any more or less egregious, only the general perception of it. As for his position, I dont really place any credence to that either. Kristen holds greater power in the business then he does, regardless of their age difference and roles on a film set. A production company is not going to automatically finance a film for a man who has exactly one feature film to his credit, no matter how successful it was. And actors are not clammoring to work with him. Kristen, on the other hand, commands an immediate respect to a project and has the ability to make and break careers. Or, at least, she did. How all this will effect her career is still to be determined.
So what is next and where do we go from here? Well, I don't think we really know yet. We do know that we will all continue to follow, support and love Rob and The Saga. Some of us may continue to support and follow Kristen as well. I don't have any problem with that. A part of me is grateful for it. She will need all the support she can get because I think she really screwed up her life and the only true way to recover from that is with real support and honest truth. And, I have every faith that we will all support each other in whatever we individually choose to do, and we will respect each other's choices in that.
We also know that Rob and Kristen, while still individuals, had become one entity in many ways. We knew that they were entwined in each other's lives, each a part of the other, both in public and in private. Why else would we so willingly accept the monimer 'Robsten'? Now, we have to reconcile that that is no more and return to knowing them only as individuals and not in how they effect each other's lives. Honestly, that will be hard. Not only because the idea seemes so foreign even four days ago. But, also because they will cintinue to effect each other for a while to come. Emotionally, they will both be working through all of this for a long while. Professionally, we know that they still have commitments and obligations. Yeah, that's just going to be painful and awkward. And, what's more, those events will be like feeding frenzies for the media and the fans.
As for the future of their relationship, I personally do not see how they could reconcile. As much as Kristen may be reportedly trying to make amends and pursuing his forgiveness, she blindsided and humiliated him in a way we know he found despicable and unforgiveable. So, if (and that is a giant IF) he were to even to consider any kind of future relationship at any level, let alone a romantic one, it will, I think, be very far in the future. At the very least, I don't see any way the would reconcile during anything to do with The Saga. Not the least reason is because it would just seem so fake. If people thought it was for publicity before, can you imagine how them reconciling before promo after all of this would be viewed?
Bottom line: I will continue to offer my full support and love to Rob. He has always owned me in a way that I seriously struggle to explain. How I will reconcile my issues with Kristen I cannot say at this point. It is all still to fresh. But Rob... That's never been a question.
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