Meal Suggestion Box

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Meal Suggestion Box

Postby Nena » Thu Oct 02, 2008 11:57 am

While reading Una's post on the Hash thread, I had an idea for a thread - "If only we could send names to the Volturri...call it the Meal Suggestion box!" It should be fun & snarky...never mean. If anyone is caught being mean that person is immediately handed over to Jane.

Examples:

Dear Aro,

I have a student who constantly interrupts me with non-sensible mutterings. You should ask him to dinner.

Love, GNE


Have fun everybody!
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Re: Meal Suggestion Box

Postby dandyvampgirl_13 » Thu Oct 02, 2008 2:28 pm

*LAUGHS*
This is an awesome thread!
And I have first post.

Dear Felix,

There's is this particularly bothersome little runt at my school who exist merely to annoy anyone and everyone he meets. I'm sure if you were to have five seconds with him, he'd be a long gone snack. Care to take him out to lunch?

Fangsk, Dandy
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Re: Meal Suggestion Box

Postby Goodnight Elizabeth » Fri Oct 03, 2008 1:14 am

Yay! My thread made it!! No one told me. My example one took me about 15 minutes to come up with. I'm tapped out.

dandyvampgirl: I'm glad you like it. :twisted:
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Re: Meal Suggestion Box

Postby una » Fri Oct 03, 2008 3:43 pm

Well, if I am the muse for this thread, I should certainly post! (Wow...I feel so honored)

To the Illustrious Volturi,

In order to pay homage to thy swift justice and careful watch over us poor humans, please accept my heartiest thanks and gift. Please take the included scrap of paper, it is directions to a most scrumptious offering. She happens to be one of my pupils who is so clueless, she must be removed from the gene pool. However, her disposition is so sweet, it must run in her veins.

Fondly,
Una the VampVixen


P.S. Yes, this note is written in a sample of the treat awaiting you...
I am the Impulsive VampVixen.
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Re: Meal Suggestion Box

Postby spookybell » Sat Oct 04, 2008 3:55 am

Dear Aro-

We are having a Rachel problem... could you possible, take a few moments out of your day to visit. We have more than one Rachel looking for guidance. As the year goes on we may want to inquire about a preschool tour if that is possible.

Thank you,
Spookybell
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Re: Meal Suggestion Box

Postby dimber » Sat Oct 04, 2008 4:01 am

Dear Mr. Aro,

there is this lady who happens to be the mother of my wonderful futur husband. She tries constantly to convince him to cancel the wedding because she has strong objections on the bride.
She's very old-fashioned in both manners and thoughts and would really appreciate a visit from such a distinguished and corteous old-fashioned man as you are. I'm sure you can solve the problem effectively and permanently. You don't even have to fly overseas because she lives justr a few hundred miles from you.
Regards

Mrs-to-be Dimber
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Re: Meal Suggestion Box

Postby Destani » Sat Oct 04, 2008 4:44 pm

Dear Heidi,

I happen to be in the acquaintance of a rather annoying, selfish young man who causes me nothing but stress. He is currently seeking out beautiful women for the purpose of finding a mate. Oh, and did I mention, that this young man actually believes himself to be a vampire? I assure you he is not and would benefit from a lesson in true vampirism. You should have no problem luring him in.

Regards,
Destani
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Re: Meal Suggestion Box

Postby spookybell » Sat Oct 04, 2008 5:46 pm

this is a hysterical thread :)
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Re: Meal Suggestion Box

Postby samajama » Sun Oct 05, 2008 9:04 pm

Dearest Caius,

It is my pleasure to inform you that you will be having a lovely, er, guest for dinner this fine evening. He's completely adorable, but is driving me insane. Hope you two have fun!


Thanks!
Love and kisses,

Samantha
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Re: Meal Suggestion Box

Postby Goodnight Elizabeth » Mon Oct 06, 2008 2:47 pm

Dearest Jane,

I would like to bring to your attention a human male, in his 30's, who believes he should control the world. He feels that nothing should be planned, said, or done without his approval. He takes credit for other people's good ideas. He also enjoys humiliating women. Furthermore, his wife is also just as self-centered and self-important.

You need to teach them a very important lesson.

With Gracious Gratitude,
Goodnight Elizabeth
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