Twilight Lexicon Discussion Forums

Dear Most Respected Volturi,
I heartily agree with the above. These Twi-noobs simply MUST GO! Honestly, they sound like Jonas Brothers fangirls! We cannot allow our good fandom to be so beshmirched by such utterly inane ridiculousness! They say Edward is "hawtter" than your most awesome supreme awesomeness, and in a language that makes no sense! They can't even speak proper English with which to squeal about! At least for that, they should be silenced.
Fricken noobs. Please, let them be pwned.

Thank you most sincerely,
Viola/Lidia Tagliano

All Member of the Volturi Coven,

There are some new people here (I wouldn't call them members because they are here for some other motive) that I want to offer up to you so you can do whatever you please. These few members think that they have the niche on what it's like to be a vampire and what should/shouldn't be done and all other vampire behaviors are wrong. Whatever!

They are trying to put forth their ideas as being true and that what we know is false and unreliable.

So please send Jane, Alec, Demetri anyone. We would love to be rid of them all.

Dear Aro,

I know you are probably sick of Twi-noobs for dinner, but you aren't done yet! I am sure there are different ways, in which you could enjoy eating them.

p.s. One girl hadn't even read the books, but claims to be an obsessed Twilighter.

Give em hell, sir.
Ahem..


OH AND...
Find the person who started this whole, "Pete Wentz should've played Edward Cullen" thing...
And be brutal!

YOURS TRULY.
Xia Alexis Cullen.

Dear Volturi,

I agree with the rest of my Lex coven, and would like you to find all these fake-Twilighters and rid them from the earth. Honestly, they're compromising your kind.

Oh, and there's this girl in my class who thinks she knows more about Twilight than I do and SHE HAS ONLY SEEN THE MOVIE!!! She doesn't even know all the character's names... She asked me how to pronounce Alice's name! That's just... wow. People like that are best eaten in several different pieces.

Yours Truly,
Gracie

Good day, Aro.

I hope that this decade has been going well for you so far. If I may be so bold, I would recommend you visit my school for an absolute feast of False Twilighters.
They can be found here in great abundance, and their limited intelligence prevents them from being able to make a quick getaway. In fact, they may well show up ready for eating if you simply invite them to be dinner.
*ahem*
Invite them for dinner.


Yours respectfully,
copper curls

Dear Aro,
I have a couple of snacks for you;
First, there is a girl whose motive seems to be to make life miserable for me. To top it off, she refuses to read Twilight. It is "too thick for her". Honestly, I think she is the thick one. She wouldn't know who you are, because she refuses to read your story. A mistake on her part!
And second,
There is a girl who is a Twi-fraud! She claims to be obsessed, but refuses to see the movie. She believes she started the Twi-craze at my school, but she was actually one of the last people to read it. Her MySpace page is covered in Twilight movie stuff, but she won't see it because she is "afraid it will be horrible". This should come as an insult to you.
Feel free to snack away!
Sincerely,
Natallie

Dear Jane,
There is this girl that tried to fight with me over the fact that Jaspers last name isn't Hale. Yet she hasn't read the books, and has only seen the movie online.
Love, Xia.

Aro-
There's this guy in my class that LIVES to bother me. Enjoy!
-alice_is_my_homegirl

Dear Volturi,

I agree. Please eat the Twi-posers. I know that they must taste foul, or maybe they taste like Miley Cyrus music? I wouldn't really know, I try to avoid them at all costs. And I know that you don't normally play with your food, but could you at least sit them down and teach them a lesson about Twilight before they die? Because I believe all, no matter how awful, should reach Enlightenment before death *smirks*

And, like copper curls, my school is, too, infested with Twi-posers. Just bring Felix with you. He is sure to lure them in - they'll probably think he's Emmet. It's not like they know any better.

Happy eating!!

Xx Lauren

twilightbelle<3 wrote: OH AND...
Find the person who started this whole, "Pete Wentz should've played Edward Cullen" thing...

Actually, if Pete weren't such an idiot, I totally would've gone for that. Pete stupid though he is, is way better looking than Robert.

But I still agree with all of the above. ABOLISH THE TWI-NOOBS!
Honestly, if you haven;t read the books, you can't talk about it. Just like the HP noobs who only like the movies and think the books are stupid. Let them dine at your place, please. I'm sure you'll enjoy it, and i know I will too. In fact, I'd help you.

Oh, and I apoligize for the ruckus the Mafia caused in Finland. Don't worry, I'll keep them under control. (I HOPE YA'LL SEE THAT, MI FAMILIA! No more blowing up stuff!)

Sincerely,
Lidia Tagliano, Da Boss
or Viola