Meal Suggestion Box

[love_is_noise]

Dear Marcus,
well, ill get straight to the point...there are a group of anti-twilight freeks in my form...even though most of them have read and enjoyed the twilight saga,they think it is uncool so have started an anti-twilight group...plese could you take care of this bunch of hypocritic, twi-guys who..im my opinon...are more obbsessed with twilight than either myself or remmett_until_dusk as they talk about it that much

yours hopefuly
Johanna ~x~
p.s please hurry, or ill do the job myself...and you now what kind of hastle that will cause.

[dawn]

Dear Aro,

I have a really delicious meal suggestion for you. Or, should I say meals. It would not be heavily looked into if a few males from my college were to suddenly disappear, seeing as that is what they always do themselves. They're the typical I'll-call-you-tomorrow-but-never-do guys. However don't be alarmed if they're a little light and fluffy, I'm convinced they're filled mostly with hot air.

Sincerely,
dawn

[topazeyes2]

Dear Heidi
I have a wonderful meal suggestion I picked just for you! He sits next to me and always makes fun of me liking the Twilight series so if you could please deal with him I'm sure me and my whole math class would be much happier. And I think the math teacher would enjoy a trip to Italy too if you know what I mean.
Topazeyes2

[Cullen_Lover]

Dear Aro.

There is a boy in my class. He is the most annoying person you could ever meet. I'm sure he would enjoy a tour of your palace, then be invited to "dinner" I'm sorry if he doesn't taste right. He is a nose picker.

Love Cullen_Lover.

[xXBeSafeXx]

Dear Volturi,
Please exterminate all teachers and administration at my school with the exception of Ms. ******, as this week is finals week and they are determined to fail me they know too much...about...us. Yeah.

Thank you.
x Michelle

[Cullen_Lover]

Dear Jane:

There is a certain overweight, smelly, brain dead homeroom teacher(let's call him Mr.Stynka because his real name rhymes with this) that I would like permanently eliminated from my life. He is not terrible smart, has a sweating problem, smells like a dumpster, and doesn't teach you anything at all that can help you in the slightest.

It would be doing us all a BIG favor. Also it would be very helpful if you also exterminated the overly populated population of Twilight Fakes at my school. They are either popular people trying to gain even more popularity by liking Twilight. Obviously it takes too much effort to actually READ a book that is over 200-250 pages long. They have only seen the movies, are obsessing over Robert (not that I don't blame them, I love Robert.), they don't know hald the characters names and are too busy screaming and pretending to be fangirls that they don't even really hear or see the movie. Also them doing this makes it very hard for other people to see the movie, not that I don't do some small CONTAINED, CONTROLLED shreiking at appropriate intervals during the movie. There population is flourishing much too much, as well as the Twi-Haters. Please dispose of them.


Faithfully Yours,

Cullen_Lover.

[blasphemous_contessa]

Dear Aro,

Allow me to extend my most sincere thanks for the service you and your fellows so selflessly provide to the mostly unwitting human populace. Since you so often take on this unpleasant task without reward I would like to offer you a treat. Enclosed are directions to the dwelling place of a certain ex-boyfriend of mine. He was a most unpleasant person, one I assure you will not be missed or mourned. He should provided more than ample sustenance for one with an appetite such as yours, however feel free to help yourself to any others found in the dwelling as they are likely to be of similar disposition to the aforementioned.

Sincerely,
A fan

[samajama]

My dearest Marcus,

I think it's time you met my friend, Father Time. Too many things to do and not enough hours in the day. Let's see if you can change his mind, shall we? Thanks in advance.

Humbly yours,
Samantha

[The Real Aro]

My dearest Marcus,

I think it's time you met my friend, Father Time. Too many things to do and not enough hours in the day. Let's see if you can change his mind, shall we? Thanks in advance.

Humbly yours,
Samantha

Sadly my brother does not share your opinion of Father Time, for him the hours without his beloved are too numerous. And my darling, it's very difficult to eat a fictional character, perhaps you can provide us with a more appetizing meal?

Dear Aro,

Allow me to extend my most sincere thanks for the service you and your fellows so selflessly provide to the mostly unwitting human populace. Since you so often take on this unpleasant task without reward I would like to offer you a treat. Enclosed are directions to the dwelling place of a certain ex-boyfriend of mine. He was a most unpleasant person, one I assure you will not be missed or mourned. He should provided more than ample sustenance for one with an appetite such as yours, however feel free to help yourself to any others found in the dwelling as they are likely to be of similar disposition to the aforementioned.

Sincerely,
A fan

Thank you for the suggestion, sadly he tasted like old dirty sewer water.

[SwanCullen]

Dear Aro and Jane:

Being the sort that you are, I believe that a certin couple of my ex boyfriends would be perfect meals for you. Jane, I request EXTRA torture from you for them before your meal as they were torturous of me in many ways. They will fill you up, as they were big guys. One of them will be spicy though!

Thanks,
Jenn