The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby G-Faerie08 » Fri Sep 12, 2008 7:53 pm

So there is this really hot guy at my school who never pays any girls any attention, and then this new girl comes from Arizona and he is all interested in her. I don't even think she is all that pretty. How can I get him to look my way instead of hers?

-Jessica
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby somethingblue » Fri Sep 12, 2008 7:54 pm

Ouisa wrote:There is this blond girl with huge......eyes. I mean these eyes are perfect you know...round and firm no no not firm um....golden. And she wore this red dress to prom and something happened when I looked at her.....you know....ummmm.....is this normal
Tyler


Tyler,

That all depends. How old are you?

Mrs. Cope
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby Alcyone » Fri Sep 12, 2008 7:54 pm

Tyler, as a Biology instructor, I'm well-trained in understanding what is "normal". I would be glad to help you out and revise your doubts.

-Mr. Banner
Last edited by Alcyone on Fri Sep 12, 2008 7:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby Ouisa » Fri Sep 12, 2008 7:55 pm

G-Faerie08 wrote:So there is this really hot guy at my school who never pays any girls any attention,

-Jessica



Have you ever considered that he might be gay? I mean I hear he plays the piano.
Maybe she's his beard.
Mike Newton
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby Granuaile » Fri Sep 12, 2008 8:01 pm

Hi. I am a well-liked, smart girl in the junior year at my high school. I can't seem to get a hold on the guys or on my friends anymore! Any suggestions?
-Blonde, for REAL! I Mean it! Believe me!
Who needs imagination when there is Reality?
Answer: me

I wish our posts were graded, since this is what I'm doing instead of homework!

I am NOT bothering to learn ALL of your names. First come, first serve. And I'm done serving.
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby Nena » Fri Sep 12, 2008 11:26 pm

Granuaile wrote:Hi. I am a well-liked, smart girl in the junior year at my high school. I can't seem to get a hold on the guys or on my friends anymore! Any suggestions?
-Blonde, for REAL! I Mean it! Believe me!


Don't worry it will pass. It’s not hard to erase a blonde’s memory. Just blow in her ear.

-Jake
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby Goodnight Elizabeth » Fri Sep 12, 2008 11:58 pm

Hello. I am seven years old, but I am very mature for my age. I am ready "to take things to the next level" with my boyfriend, but he says we have all the time in the world - literally. However, I think he is just afraid of my father and his uncanny way of finding everything out. What should we do?

Signed,
It's Not Puppy Love
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby somethingblue » Sat Sep 13, 2008 12:03 am

Goodnight Elizabeth wrote:Hello. I am seven years old, but I am very mature for my age. I am ready "to take things to the next level" with my boyfriend, but he says we have all the time in the world - literally. However, I think he is just afraid of my father and his uncanny way of finding everything out. What should we do?

Signed,
It's Not Puppy Love


My darling girl,

I think you might be best served by abiding by the wishes of your boyfriend. He clearly has your best interests and future in mind and it would be prudent to listen to him. Believe, I will know if you don't.

Your father
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby kaitlyncullen » Wed Sep 17, 2008 12:36 pm

Goodnight Elizabeth wrote:Hello. I am seven years old, but I am very mature for my age. I am ready "to take things to the next level" with my boyfriend, but he says we have all the time in the world - literally. However, I think he is just afraid of my father and his uncanny way of finding everything out. What should we do?

Signed,
It's Not Puppy Love


get your butt home, i need to talk to you, NOW!
your boyfriend won't be able to lift a paw after i'm done with him if you make any move towards doing what you want to do. and daddy WILL tell me, that's for sure.

you do have all the time in the world!!
you're still my little girl!

but come home, really, right now.

love always,
mommy.
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby CastMeNotAway » Wed Sep 17, 2008 3:00 pm

So I really love my job and am really hoping the company will give a, erm... promotion. But I feel like if I do something wrong they'll kill me for it. How would you suggest impressing the 'higher-ups'?

-Gianna
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