The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby TillyWhitlock » Fri Mar 27, 2009 11:20 pm

Overprotective Sweetheart.

I honestly do think I, she, tries to keep herself out of trouble. It just has a way of finding her. It's not her fault that the world is out to get her. Between vampires, vans, the woods, and werewolves, it's hard to keep safe. What do you want her to do, stay in the house all the time, I'm sure she'd find a way to get hurt.

Sincerely,
Klutz

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dear TAC,

My husband is always trying to beat my brother at wrestling matches. The problem is that my brother can read minds. We haven't found anyone who can block him. Do you think he'll meet someone who can keep their mind closed and beat him at wrestling?

Thanks a bunch,
The fashionista
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby KikiMasenCullen » Sat Mar 28, 2009 12:05 am

Fashionista,

I am sure that there is someone out there who can shield your brother enough, to finally let your husband win...after all, isn't that what wives are for?

The Shield



------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear TAC,

I am a young werewolf, and I secretly crush on my best friend's girl. Is there anyway I can stop before he picks my mind and finds out what I'm thinking? I don't want our friendship to end...

Scared young wolfy...
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby topazeyes2 » Sat Mar 28, 2009 10:22 am

Dear Scared Young Wolfy,
NO! Ever think that maybe she didn't like you like that just stay away and I'll tell you if any change goes on. And I've heard what you think :lol:
Sincerely,
Not your Best Friend's Boyfriend
..................................................................................................
Dear TAC,
I'm sort of good at reading peoples emotions and I have to go high school! Can you imagine what kind of hell that is? Can any body help me?
Sincerely,
Sensitive Boy
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby Mrs.Edward_Cullen<3 » Sat Mar 28, 2009 10:57 am

Sensitive Boy,
Just stay away from the emo kids and you'll be ok.
I Heart Grizzlies
-------
Dear TAC,
My brother just fell in love with this human. And my wife isn't too happy about it. How do I calm her down and make her like this new human girl?
Rose's Monkey Man
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby topazeyes2 » Sat Mar 28, 2009 11:04 am

Dear Rose's Monkey Man,
Just tell her to become less conceited and jealous. I'll fall in love with who ever I want!
Human Lover
...................................................................................................
Dear TAC,
There are two guys who like me and I don't know how to let them down easy that I don't like either of them!
How do I do it?
Sincerely,
Rejection Hurts
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby bronzehairedmiracle » Sat Mar 28, 2009 12:11 pm

Dear Rejection

Why not let a particularly gorgeous man......I mean boy deal with the two nutters who are not smart enough to see that you like someone else?I promise there will be no bloodshed...... :twisted:


Sincerely
Sparkly and pale is "in"
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby Mrs.Edward_Cullen<3 » Sat Mar 28, 2009 12:14 pm

Dear TAC,
Uhmm...I'm having a little problem. You see my brother is a know it all and tells everybody what I'm really thinking and what I constantly do with my wife. How do I make him stop?
I Feel What You're Feeling
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby TillyWhitlock » Sat Mar 28, 2009 1:28 pm

Feeling,

Just hit him upside the head and tell him that if he tells anyone what you're thinking about me, I mean your wife, then your wife and sister-in-law will destroy his pretty little cars. Especially the one that can't be found anywhere anymore.

The psychic.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dear TAC,

My brother has a new girlfriend. Yes, I know this is a good thing, but I can be very greedy. She takes up all his time, and now he doesn't spend any time with me. Granted we didn't spend much time together before, but still I miss the days where we would sit out in the garage and work on our cars. Is there any way I can tell him to spend some time with me without coming off too harsh?

Lonely without my brother
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby KikiMasenCullen » Sat Mar 28, 2009 8:33 pm

Lonely,

All you have to do is ask me, I mean him, nicely...I think your brother would love spending time with you too. But being nice to his wife sometimes is a little easier too.

Brother in question...

----------------------------------------------------------------

Dear TAC,

My wife has a motorcycle. Yet, I am seriously afraid to let her ride it. Should I take up the hobby with her, or just send out her friends to make sure she stays out of trouble?

Concerned husband
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby TillyWhitlock » Sat Mar 28, 2009 9:48 pm

Concerned Husband,

I think that you should buy a Ducati 1198S and attempt to get into the habit. She'll resist and then you can say it's no big deal and give your car to the one male that doesn't have a car. Make it a silver one too. Okay I think that works for me.

Thirsting for Speed.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Dear TAC,

Every since my son met this girl, he is all she thinks about. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. The only thing is that I'm afraid all of my other children will see that I love the two of them more than the rest of them. Which is true. How do I show that I love everyone without them seeing that I love two of them the most?

Loving Mother
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