The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby Alcyone » Sun Sep 21, 2008 10:18 am

........................help....................................................................................................
..............................................................miserable..............................................................
..............................................annoying brothers..........................................................
...............................................................................................Tivo..............................
.......................................................................................................................................what to do?
..........................................


-No point in speaking
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby IFellUrEmotions » Sun Sep 21, 2008 10:42 am

Dear no point in speaking,

First off, if you do not speak how do we know what the problem is?

Second, duck, those annoying brothers are 2 feet behind you and about to attack.

-ALICE
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby Doodle » Mon Sep 22, 2008 5:39 pm

How do you kill a werewolf? Especially when you hear those thoughts in his/your daughters mind?

- Murderous daddy vamp.
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby Alcyone » Mon Sep 22, 2008 5:52 pm

Put scratch and sniff at the bottom of a filled pool.

...No, wait, that's how you kill a blonde. Nevermind.

-108 degrees
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby Ouisa » Mon Sep 22, 2008 5:52 pm

Has anyone ever told you that you have control issues?
Face it Mr. Prudy Pants, your little girl is growing up. What she/they feeling is natural.
Just because you waited 107 years doesn't mean everyone else needs to.
Loosen up and let them be.
With all my love
Uncle Emmett
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby wildroses » Mon Sep 22, 2008 7:18 pm

i'm having trouble keeping my thoughts in check. i mean everytime my husband comes around all i can think of is sex. i'm getting a little worried, do you think i have a problem?

-Bella.
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby IFellUrEmotions » Mon Sep 22, 2008 10:59 pm


No, love. Theres no problem at all. In fact continue to think those thoughts and junp him every chance you get.

-Someone who isn't Edward.
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby Tamalyn » Tue Sep 23, 2008 3:34 am

So, I got a letter from Hogwarts. Turns out I'm a witch. How do I break the news to my family?

-Angela
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby IFellUrEmotions » Tue Sep 23, 2008 10:41 am


Angela,
First tell your parents that your pregnant. Then go , 'just kidding im not pregnant I'm a witch'. They'll be so relieved your not pregnent that they won't care.
- Random





Okay, everytime my fiancee looks at me she blushes. it drives me insane to not know why. Anyone have any ideas as to why?
-Edward
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Re: The Twilight Advice Column--Tongue in Cheek version

Postby Ouisa » Tue Sep 23, 2008 10:47 am

Have you SEEN you?
I know you are a 107 year old virgin but even you aren't that innocent!
Tanya
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