Twilight Skits

[Pel]

Here is a new skits thread since the last one was getting kind of long and the current skit had apparently finished.

*Keep the mating skits confined to the VMT...not here.

*Keep it PG.

*This is not a place to promote your fanfic.

*Keep the skits about the characters in the book. When you start adding yourselves it gets confusing and difficult for new people to get involved

[WinniePony]

Wow, am I the first post? Coolness!!!

So they moved the SKITS thread, obviously, but I hope everyone finds it... I don't really have any ideas, but I'm officially back from vacation, in case anyone remembers me. Whoo! Go SKITS!!

I think we need to put Nessie in the SKITS. Because she's awesome. Maybe we should have Jake kidnap her, or something random like that... And then Edward breaks his face!! Or I don't know, whatever. Someone else probably has a better idea.

[dandyvampgirl_13]

*flails* Winnieeeeeee!!! You're BACCCKKKK! We missed you!
Sweetness, skits thread. Let's make this uber funny, people!!!
Should I provide an idea, for a starter..?

Jasper: OMG! RUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN!!!
Alice: What? What's going on I can't see anything ahhhh!!!
Emmett: Who turned the lights off!?!?! I'm SCARED OF THE DARK!
Carlisle: AHHH! HOLD ME ESME I'm SCARED!!!
Edward: You big baby!
Bella: EDWARD! Hold me, I'm terrified!
Edward: OKAY! *holds her tight* Now what the flower is happening!?!?
Emmett: someone turned off all the lights and now I'm scared! I want my banana!!
Carlisle: Who did this to scare poor Emmett so? And me for that matter! ESSMMMEEE
Esme: Fine, I'll hold you…
Alice: I didn't see anyone planning this, so it must be….
Edward: The pack?
Alice: I'm dont know! I couldn't see anyone, remember?!?
Everyone: *LE GASP*
Bella: AHHH! *faints and falls down*
Edward: Bella? Where'd you go? I can't see anything!! Stupid lights!
Emmett: Why don't we just flip the switch?
Esme: But the circuit breakers are out there. What if something's out there waiting for us?
Edward: Like what, velociraptors armed with green goo?
Carlisle: *nods* or the CFGs…
Emmett: Me no likey thish…
Alice: oooooor… *flips on light* we just do this…
Emmett: YAY I CAN SEE! *starts singing* I can see clearly now, the rain has gone…
Edward: Well, that was more than a little weird....
*lots of crashes come from outside*
Everyone: What the flower...?

Well, here's a new skit for people to continue when they discover it... suckness, major, but it works. We needed some new material.

[WinniePony]

Hi dandy! Glad someone remembers me!!

Emmett: Maybe it's banana. Banana has come back for me!!!
Edward: Yes Emmett, you go check.
Esme: But watch out for the velociraptors.
Emmett: I thought that comment was sarcastic!
Carlisle: Emmett, the CFG's are writing this. They could take anything seriously.
Emmett: You're right! Rosie, come protect me.
Rosalie: Why, so that you can run off with banana and my lingerie? I don't THINK so.
Emmett: Omg!! Good idea Rosie posie! The velociraptors would NEVER throw green goo at someone dressed so sexily. I must find where Rosie hid her underwear!!!
Bella: Edward, I'm still scared.
Edward: HAVE NO FEAR, WHALEBOY IS HERE!! I will save the day, my love, and impress you with my heroic deeds and awesome muscles.
Emmett: *from upstairs* Mine are bigger!
Edward: Who asked you, BananaLoser.
Emmett: *dashing down the stairs* WHAT did you just call me???!!!
Alice: Bananaloser. Or are you deaf as well as gay?
Emmett: It's BananaBOY! I am NOT a loser. I'm just... special.
Esme: *comforting* That's right honey. And there's nothing wrong with being special.
Emmett: Yeah! So you better take that back!!
Edward: Well how are you going to MAKE me?
Emmett: I... will... GO BANANA! BANANABOY HAS RETURNED!!!!!
Bella: Oh boy...
Rosalie: *swoons*

Kinda random, I know, but that's what the SKITS thread is all about!!

[dandyvampgirl_13]

*frowningeth* Why is no one posting? Come on, this used to be uber popular!
I'll come back once I come up with a new idea...
*grumbles*

[nirtia]

if you start a new idea I will play along and add to it. We could back and forth!. Make hilarious laughter or Intense action LOL who knows. Lets dazzle the twilighters out there.

[Nessa645]

Why isn't anyone posting? Don't know what to put yet.

[WinniePony]

Where IS everyone??!! Did everyone like abandon the SKITS thread while I was on vacation??!! YOU PEOPLE ARE SO WEIRD! OH so newbies, feel free to add on to the skit. That's really what this thread is, just us...writing skits...laughing at the funnyness...and how ridiculously stupid they get. Anyone can add on! Except for me, because I was the last one to post something. Come on people, let's get with the program!!!

[Tegan]

Ah, the good old SKITS thread. It's been too long!
Forgive me, I'm a little rusty:
Voice coming out from the darkness: I HAVE YOU NOW, MY PRETTIES!!! MWAHAHA!!!
Bella: Nessie?
Voice: What? How did you know it was me??
Bella: I am your mother. I could hear your voice out of a crowd of a million people-
Nessie: 2 million?
Bella: No, maybe not that many.
Edward: Eh, so I'm meant to fight against my daughter?
Nessie: I am not just your daughter, daddy. I am LOCH NESS LADY!
Bella: But you're still only a child, sweetheart...
Nessie: Shut it, Lamb baby.

[Twilight<3]

Okay, so I am going to completely make something up. Yay!

Loch Ness Monster: *walks in the room*
Jacob: AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! EVERYONE RUN FOR THEIR LIVES!!!!!!!!!
LNM: Jake, m'love? Why are you running from me?
Jacob: YOU- YOU- YOU'RE THE LOCH NESS MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!
LNM: *creepy stare* I'm your soulmate and we're supposed to be together forever. I even have naughty dreams about you occasionally...
...
...
Hehe
Jacob: Erm... *gag*
LNM: *continues creepy stare with weird smile* Here. Let me touch your cheek so I can show you all the memories I had of us in my dream. Watch it, though, it gets a bit, heh, *eye twitch* dirrrrty. *eye twitch* *gurgle*
Jacob: Oh my freaking god. Why is your hand all slimey? That's disgusting!
LNM: You love it, don't you.
Jacob: Not really.
LNM: Yes. Yes, you do. You love every minute of it. *touches cheek with slimey hand*
Jacob: *flash of memories*
Bella: *walks in* Oh, Nessie!!! I love you so much! Jacob? Jacob?! Carlisle! Quick, get in here!
Carlisle: *examines Jacob* I think he has gone into a state of shock.
Bella: What caused this?
Carlisle: Usually, it is from a series of disturbing pictures or scenes.
Bella: Hmm, I wonder what happened to him.
Jacob:
LNM: Oh, my poor Jacob. *eye twitch* *eye twitch* *gurgle* *hiccup*