Twilight Skits

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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby rapid_reader1 » Sun Oct 24, 2010 4:46 pm

Congratz on your first SKIT :D

*At the Swan house...*

Charlie: Isabella Swan, you need to tell me who the father is right now!
Bella: You wouldn't believe me if I told you!
*phone ringing*
Charlie: Hello?
Edward: Bella?
Charlie: *puts on high female voice* Yes?
Edward: Bella, I need to know! Who's the father!?
*Charlie's thoughts: Who should I say? Mike? Nah, he's gay. Plus, he doesn't have it in him. Ohh I know. This will be entertaining...*
Charlie: Jacob Black!
*Edward hangs up*
Bella: What about Jacob?
Charlie: Nothing.
Bella: Now who's keeping secrets!
Charlie: :P
Bella: Who's the 18-year-old of the two of us?
*phone rings again*
Bella: Hello?
Jacob: Bells? It's Jake.
Bella: I got that, thanks. What's going on? *hears crying in the background* Who is that?
*from the background* Nessie: HOW COULD YOU JAKIE!?!?
Bella: Jacob, you better explain. NOW.
*Nessie grabs phone from Jacob* Nessie: Mother, how could you have a baby with my Jakie!!! Why would you steal him from me!?
Bella: :shock: Oh this is all kinds of wrong. *hangs up*
Charlie: Who was that?
Bella: Edward went to Jake's house and spilled that he's the one who got me pregnant, and now my daughter thinks I got with her boyfriend.
Charlie: I never took you for a cougar, Bells.
Bella: Jacob is not the father, dad!
Charlie: Well who is!?
Bella: I. CAN'T. TELL. YOU!
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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby Suzan » Wed Jan 19, 2011 10:53 am

Uhm… So I guess nobody is interested in doing a skit. But I can’t get the story out of my mind. (I’m just like that. I need to know the ending to every movie or book I start watching/reading. I hate cliff-hangers and open endings. ;) ) I really want to know who the father is hihi! Rapid_reader1, if you see this please let me know who you had in mind for the father. You can PM me if you don’t want to ruin the storyline or you can drop a hint in the next skit. You got me curious.
I’ll give it another try, but I’m not that experienced, which is why I didn’t post sooner. I was hoping someone more experienced would jump in, but since that isn’t happening, I’ll come up with something on my own. Hope you enjoy.
From your previous skit, I’m guessing that this is post-BD but somehow Bella made it out alive and is still human, right??? And she now lives with Charlie again and they are still in high school??? Not that it really matters because this is a skit after all and anything can happen, but I’m just a little confused here.


*Edward is in his room and just hung up on Charlie, who was pretending to be Bella*
Edward: JACOB BLACK?! :evil: JACOB BLACK!! :evil: How could she do that?! He is my daughter’s boyfriend! He is her daughter’s boyfriend!
*Alice walks in* Alice: What’s with all the yelling?
Edward: Jacob Black!
Alice: Yes, I heard that. What about him?
Edward: He’s the father! How could they?! And why didn’t you see this coming, huh?! And where is the rest of the family? We need to take down a wolfpack!
Alice: Well, you scared the rest of the family silly and now they’ve fled the country. Pathetic. :roll: I was the only one brave enough to stay.
Edward: Humf, great! Thanks for the support, not.
Alice: Anyway, I did see it coming, but I thought it was something Bella should tell you.
Edward: Yeah, well, just … Ugh, I don’t know. I’m gonna talk to Jacob since Bella isn’t talking.
Alice: Ok, just keep it nice. No fighting! I’m gonna get the family back.
Edward: Yeah, yeah. I’ll be good.

*At Jacob’s house*
Jacob: That’s enough Monopoly for one day, Nessie. I’ve lost three times already.
Nessie: But I like Monopoly! Nessie will let Jackie win, because Nessie loves Jackie!
Jacob: Alright, but enough with the baby-talk. I know you’re smarter than that. But it is cute and I love you too.
*Edward bursts through the door*
Jacob: :o :shock: What the …
Edward: How could you?! :evil:
Jacob: What are you talking about?
Edward: You know what I’m talking about! You knocked up my Bella!
Nessie: Daddy, what are you saying?! *starts to sob and turns to Jacob* How could you do that? :cry:
Jacob: I did not! Who told you this?!
Edward: *reads Jacob’s thoughts* Ok, I can hear that it wasn’t you. But why would she tell me it was you? I’m so confused. *drops to the ground sobbing*
*Nessie didn’t hear what Edward said because of her own crying*
Jacob: Great, now I have two crying people in my living room. The only person who can solve this is Bella.
*Phone conversation with Bella, see previous post^^*
Nessie: Mommy didn’t deny it! *starts crying even louder*
Jacob: Well, I didn’t do it.
Edward: I know. I’m going down there and Bella is going to spill! You try to soothe Nessie.

*At the Swan house.*
Edward: Bella, open this door immediately!
Bella: All right, all right. I’m coming. *opens the door*
Edward: I know it wasn’t Jacob. Now, SPILL!
Bella: Finally, you figured that out. I can’t believe you fell for Charlie’s bad impersonation of me. But I can’t talk about it here.
Charlie (from the living room): Who’s at the door?
Edward: Fine, then you’re coming with me.
Bella: :shock: I can’t just leave.
Edward: Yes you can! We are going to talk about this missy! *Pulls Bella on his back and runs of*

*In the meadow*
Bella: PUT ME DOWN!
Edward: *drops Bella to the ground* Nobody’s here. It’s just us. Now spill!
Bella: You could handle me with a little more care, you know. Pregnant lady here!
Edward: I don’t care about your precious baby if it’s not mine! Ugh, you’re so frustrating, you know that? I’ve been going over this again and again. Is this some joke, huh? So I wouldn’t flirt with the principal to get my classes changed? Playing hard to get so I would want you more? Was it one of Aro’s little experiments? Did he blackmail you into doing it so you would keep the vampire secrecy? Or was it Nahuel’s father, who finally found someone who could bare his children and stay alive? Tel me who did this to you Bella! :evil: *Grabs her by the shoulders*
Bella: OW! Edward, let go of me!
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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby rapid_reader1 » Sat Jan 29, 2011 1:17 pm

^ Love it! So funny :D

Edward: PLEASE Bella, I'm begging you! Just tell me who the father is and I'll leave you alone!!!
Bella: I can't! And you wouldn't believe me if I did tell you!
Edward: :swoon:
Bella: FINE! I'll tell you! It's Carlisle!
Edward: :shock:
*In France...*
Esme: *spits escargot on Carlisle*
Esme: WHAT!?
Carlisle: What is it!?
Esme: BELLA'S BABY IS YOURS!? :shock:
Carlisle: :shock: But...but...It can't be! We used protection!!
Esme: I NEED CHOCOLATE!!!!
*In class....*
[text messages]
- Bella, we need to talk.
- About what?
- Why would you...you know...with CARLISLE? :shock:
- Stop freaking out Edward. It's no biggie.
Edward: :swoon:
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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby Suzan » Wed Feb 09, 2011 11:43 am

:shock: :swoon: OMG! Carlisle?! I would never have guessed that, haha. I think I might be having the same reaction that Edward is having ;) It is incredibly funny and good though! Thanks for responding :D

Do you think we should continue, that is if you want to? If it is just two people it might not be as much fun...
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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby rapid_reader1 » Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:56 pm

^^ Two is better than one! The more this thread gets posted in, the longer it stays on top of the Twilight Zone forum, and the more people will check it out! :D
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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby Suzan » Sun Feb 20, 2011 10:46 am

Alright, let's see what I can come up with then.
This is Alice and her quest to find the Cullen family:

*Somewhere in the Egyptian desert*
Alice: All I can see is sand. Sand, sand, sand and more sand! Ugh! Just decide on a hill to sit on and stay there so I can find you already. They're all the same anyways! *some time later* Finally he sits down. It's about time. :roll: *runs to the place of her vision* WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! :x
Jasper: Uhm, don't you already know that since you're chasing me halfway around the globe?
Alice: O, right. Wrong question. WHY WERE YOU RUNNING FROM ME?! :x
Jasper: I wasn't running from you. I was running from the emotional wreck that we call Edward.
Alice: Well, he's not chasing you halfway around the globe now, is he? You could have stopped sooner.
Jasper: O, right. Wrong answer. I was running because I couldn't believe you didn't tell me it was Carlisle.
Alice: How do you know about that?
Jasper: I sensed it when you told them Bella's pregnant.
Alice: Alright. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Now can you stop running? I think Edward has cooled down and I apologized and we need to find the rest of the family so we can solve this mess.
Jasper: Ok, I'll help you. Do you know where they are?
Alice: Well, I don't think you want to know where Emmett and Rosalie are for let's say the next half hour...
*Jasper suddenly kisses Alice*
Alice: Jasper stop it! Focus! It's not my emotion, it's theirs.
Jasper: Right, sorry. Couldn't help it. :oops: What about Esme?
Alice: Hmm. Well, all I can see is this weird brown looking stuff and it is sort of making me happy.
Jasper: Yes, chocolate can have that effect on humans. Do you think she's in Belgium?
Alice: Belgium? :?
Jasper: Yeah, you know, where the best chocolate bonbons are from.
Alice: Of course! Let's go!
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