Twilight Skits

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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby rapid_reader1 » Sat Mar 27, 2010 11:35 am

lmao! That was soooo hilarious!!!!

Edward: EDWARDICUS IS TOO SPARKLY FOR A COMMONER TO LOOK UPON!

Jasper: Would you stop that! AND GET SOME PANTS ON!

Edward: THE COMMONER HAS SPOKEN!! HE SHALL BE BANISHED!

Jasper: Huh? BANISHED!?!?!?!?

*Edward does jazz hands again*

Jasper: OH, EDWARD! STOP IT!

Bella: Did you just "OH" my "EDWARD"????

Jasper: What?

Bella: No one can just "OH" my "EDWARD"!!!

Edward: EDWARDICUS BELONGS TO NO ONE!!! HE IS TOO MUCH FOR ONE PERSON TO HANDLE! *does wiggly eyebrow thing*

Jasper: *eye twitches uncontrolably* *smacks hand over eye to hide it*

*Edward poofs Jasper away*

Bella: FINALLY! Some alone time....*purrs like a cat*

Edward: SORRY BELLA! EDWARDICUS CAN ONLY BELONG TO ONE WOMAN! AND THAT WOMAN IS MEGAN FOX!!! *poofs to MF*

Bella: What!?!? NOT AGAIN!!

Carlisle: *taking Jasper's therapist chair* When did this happen before, Bella?

Bella: *sitting in RMD's old chair* Well it all started one year ago, when I had to go to Italy to save Edward. You see, there was this guy...
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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby DoNotFeartheDark » Sat Mar 27, 2010 1:03 pm

Oh Gosh, love the siggy @Cullen_Lover! So sparkly

Would post, but gotta go! Keep up the funniness! :D
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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby rapid_reader1 » Sat Mar 27, 2010 6:26 pm

LOL! I love the banner!! So funny!!!

Who are the official creators of the ALESW?
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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby DoNotFeartheDark » Sun Mar 28, 2010 12:39 pm

Lets see....
purple_panda, rapid_reader1, Cullen_Lover, and me, methinkeths. We're about the only ones who post. Awesomely. We post awesomely.

*Jasper is poofed in the LFSC. Three weeks later...*

Jasper: *lying facedown* I can't believe I turned around. And I just said Oh, Edward.

Spongebob: *floats by on a giant Krabby Patty* I AM NOT PEE-COLORED!!!! *throws pickles angrily at an unresponsive Jasper*

Jasper: I'm going to explode. I'm going to combust. I have had it with Spongebob's complexes, the Director's screaming-

Director: CUT!!

Jasper: SHUT UP, you IDIOT!!!

Spongebob: YOU'LL NEVAR CATCH ME LUCKY CHARMS, NEVAR!!!! AHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!

Jasper: Bob needs to stop crying,

Bob: NOOOOO!! *sob* MY RIM IS DENTED.

Jasper: And Pete Wentz and Adam Lambert REALLY need to stop making out.

Adam Lambert: You're just jealous that I'm more sparklier than you.

Jasper: ARE NOT.

Adam Lambert: AM TOO. I GOT SPARKLES UP THE WAZOO

Jasper: NOT.

Adam Lambert: Oh yeah. WANNA SEE, TINKERBELL??

*random wall explodes and Edward flies in, still in his speedos*

Edward: UNWANTED, UNDER-PREVILEDGED CHARACTERS THAT PALE IN COMPARISON TO ME!!

Jasper: SON OF TUSCALOOSA.

Edward: Lets

Jasper: HELP ME ROBERT LEE

Edward: DANCE.

Jasper: NOOOOOOO

Everyone: YEAH!! *rips off clothes to reveal sparkly speedos*

Edward: COME LOVELIES!!! And Megan Fox!!

*Megan Fox is draped around Edward's shoulder and turns toward Jasper, duct tape around her mouth and tied with rope, waving frantically.*

Megan Fox: MMMmmph!! (help me)

Jasper: WTF?

Edward: WE SHALL NOW RIVERDANCE IN OUR SPECTACULAR SPEEDOS!! HAHAHA

*everyone but Jasper lines up in their spectacular sparkly speedos and, dear God, RIVERDANCE*

Jasper: MYY EEYYYEsss!! MY POOR INNOCENCE IS DIMINISHING.

Director: This is so freeing! *bellydances*

Jasper: *sobs* DUDE, YOU NEED A FRIGGIN WAX *collapes and has a seizure*

RMD: Meep

Jasper: *head smacks up and eye twitches.* NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo

Edward: *turns to the Director and points manly wand at him, which has convieniently appeared* YOUU. NO ONE SHALL BELLYDANCE IN EDWARDICUSES--

Jasper: *hysterically and hicupping* Lol, Edwardicuses. Lol. *sob* L-o-freaking-l *rocking in fetal position*

Edward: RIVERDANCE LINE. BLASPHEMOUS TRAITOR!!

Jasper: Big word....big word....*laughs hysterically, eye twitching*

Director: *still bellydancing* Sorry, I don't speak old guy.

Edward:........

Director: *still bellydancing*

Edward: .....RAWR!! *waves awesome jazz hands once again and there is a tinkling sound*

Director: NOOO!! I can't disappear!! WHERE DO I GO?? We're already in the LFSC.

Pete Wentz: Technically, you haven't been forgotten anymore. You're in a skit right now.

Edward: YES. LISTEN TO THE EMO GAY BASSIST.

Pete Wentz: I'M NOT--

*Director poofs away*

Adam Lambert: So wait.....where are we? If this isn't the LFSC...

Bob: We haven't been forgotten anymore.

Jasper:*looks around in paranoia and twitches, chuckling hysterically, then screams* I KNEW IT. THIS IS VIRGINIA. *points a shaky hand at everyone* YANKEES!!! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE MANASSAS JUNCTION!!!!

Spongebob: Take what?

Jasper: YANKEESS!!! * shrieks and leaps toward them*

Edward: OH MY GOD JASPER


Whew, that was long. :lol:
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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby rapid_reader1 » Sun Mar 28, 2010 1:40 pm

HAHA!! I love Adam Lambert!!! American Idol isn't the same without him! That was soooo funny!

Alice: Edward, why is Jasper screaming about Yankees?

Edward: THE NAME IS EDWARDICUS!

Alice: Edward, do you remember when I thought I was Sith Lord Alice? Well it's just a phase. It'll pass. You are not Edwardicus. Repeat that.

Edward: You are not Edwardicus.

Alice: sigh.

Adam Lambert: *eye twitch* What is wrong with you people!?!?!?!?

Jasper: YANKEES!!!!!!

Taylor Swift: You belong with meeeeee....

Alice: What is she doing here?

Edward: Haven't you heard? She's waiting at your back door. *Jazz-Hands TS away*

Bella: WHO'S WAITING AT YOUR BACK DOOR!?!?!?

Edward: Not MY back door!

Megan Fox: mmph!!!

Adam Lambert: MEGAN FOX!!!!! OMG!!

Alice: . . . he just lost some of his cool points.

Spongebob: Yeah...

Bella: What are YOU doing here!?!?!? Shouldn't you be handing out with the stupid book series that won the Kids Choice Award for best books? A stupid book series, I might add, that won over the TWILIGHT SAGA? And the VAMPIRE DIARIES series!?!?!? HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE!?!? HOW DID WE GET BEAT BY A SILLY KIDS SERIES!?!?!?!?!?

Alice: Bella, calm down. It's just a bunch of kids who voted. They're the next generation of Team Edward/Jacob lovers.

Edward: You know what the difference between Team Edward kids and Team Jacob kids?

Alice: No, what?

Bella: Isn't it obvious? Jacob is sparklier(SP) that Edward. Those teens got style 8-)

Edward: GASP!!! HOW DARE YOU!!! MEGAN FOX AND I ARE LEAVING!!!!!


Ok...that was sooo random! But it was fun to vent about that award :P
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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby Cullen_Lover » Sun Mar 28, 2010 1:46 pm

(sry are we atchually in Virginia or is Jasper just delusional? Lol idk, it shall now be in Virginia!)

5 hours later.............

Jasper:*still rocking*

RMD:*doing that jazz hand movement, twinkle sound.*

*POOOOF*

*a second RMD shows up.*

RMD: MEEeep MeEep, meep.(i am so glad you came, I am stuck with a bunck of lunatics!)

RMD2:Meeeep.(I know the feeling man,trust me.)

RMD:Meep, Meep? (so do you think you can break me out of this place?)

RMD2:Meep? (Where ARE we anyway?)

RMD:Meep MeEep MEEEP.(apparently we are in Virginia)

RMD2:meep meep meep.(well that's random enough.)

Jasper: Aww they're sooo cute. Hee hee look it's a dust bunny, aww come here little fella.

RMD: MEeeEEEeeep.(okaaaaaay.)

Jasper:*falls over* Looook I fell over. Pee-coloured sponge, look at me! This is soooooooo fun.

RMD2: Meep MEEEP(let's get you outta here dude.)

RMD:MEEEEEEEEEP(I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!)

*POOFY POOF POOF POOF!*

*With RMD's in wherever they poofed to.*

RMD:*looks around, finding themselves in Harry Potter's lair.* Meep.(And THIS is better how?)

RMD2: Meep meep.( I haven't harnessed the powers of Edwardicus yet.Sorry.)

RMD: MEEP!? (Since when does Edwardicus give his minions powers?)

RMD2: Meep. Meep. ( Since when you left.)

RMD: Meep. (Well this sucks.)










What will happen to Jasper and the others? What are these powers of Edwardicus. What the heck is happening with the RMD's?
(sorry if it is bad you may skip over.)
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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby rapid_reader1 » Sun Mar 28, 2010 2:03 pm

LOL! That was good =D

Harry Potter: I AM POTTY MAN!!!

RMD: Meep! (LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!!!)

RMD2: Meep!! (Haha, have fun!!!) *poofs out*

Mike: Har- I mean, Potty Man, are you coming to dinner?

RMD: Meep!!!!!!! (HELP ME!!!)

MEANWHILE...

Jasper: YANKEES!!!

Everyone else: WE KNOW!!!

Jasper: PIZZA!!!!

Everyone: :|

Jasper: Can we go to Chicago next???

Edward: NO!! THAT'S WHERE MEGAN AND EDWARDICUS ARE GOING!!!

Alice: Oh goodness, he's talking in third person again...

Bella: FINE! Megan and Edwardicus can go to Chicago. EDWARD and I will go to PARIS!!!


Sorry, gotta go!!! =)
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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby Cullen_Lover » Sun Mar 28, 2010 2:18 pm

Jasper: CROISSANTS!

Bella: OOOOooookay.Can someone cure him please?

Edwardicus: My pleasure! *Rips off clothes and is now in that infamous sparkly speedo, starts belly dancing*

Everone but Jasper: AAAAAAH MY EYES!!!!!

Jasper: What the... OH GOD!

Alice: *to Jasper* KNIFEY!

Jasper: WAAAAAAAH!!!!! BROKEN!!! SO YOUNG!

Alice: Yup, he's cured.

Bella: Can we go to Paris now?

Edward: But I wanna go to Chicago!

Bella: NO!

Edward: *whines* But Paris is so BORING! I wanna go to Chicago with Megan!

Bella: Not a chance Bub, now come!

Edward: *Still whining* BUT BELLA!

Bella: You will not use that term with me Mr.!

*In the Lair at dinner table*

POTTY MAN: Mike dear, would you please pass the mushrooms.

Mike: My pleasure.

RMD: AAAAAAH!

Mike: RMD, would you like some?

POTTY MAN: YOU DARE NOT OFFER POTTY MAN ANY?!

Mike: But you just had it!

POTTY MAN: I DON'T CARE, YOU COULD STILL OFFER SO I COULD SAY WHAT A IDIOT YOU ARE FOR OFFERING ME SOME WHEN I JUST HAD THE PLATE!

Mike: That makes sense becaaaause?

RMD:*thinking* I'll just sneak out silently now while they're bickering.

POTTY MAN: JELL-O!!!!

Mike: what?





Will RMD escape, will the bickering "couple" make up? What will happen in Paris?
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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby DoNotFeartheDark » Sun Mar 28, 2010 2:39 pm

POTTY MAN: Mike dear, would you please pass the mushrooms.

Mike: My pleasure.

RMD: AAAAAAH!

Mike: RMD, would you like some?

POTTY MAN: YOU DARE NOT OFFER POTTY MAN ANY?!

Mike: But you just had it!

POTTY MAN: I DON'T CARE, YOU COULD STILL OFFER SO I COULD SAY WHAT A IDIOT YOU ARE FOR OFFERING ME SOME WHEN I JUST HAD THE PLATE!

:lol: :lol: ^^ That was so hilarious!

Edward: *looks down* Can I still keep the speedo?

Bella: I thought you'd never ask ;)

*Edward and Bella poof to Paris*

Jasper:. . . . I will forever traumatized. I must be- *rips off clothes*

Alice: JASPER NOT YOU!

Jasper: EMO MAN SHALL REIGN ONCE MORE!!

Alice: Oh. I though you were gonna break out the speedo I bought you last summer.

Jasper: Why, my dear Alice, that's for special occasions.

Adam Lambert: ME AND PETE WENTZ ARE LEAVING.

*AL and PW poof to the Lair with POTTY MAN*

Jasper: Now, EMO MAN WILL BE IN A FETAL POSITION NO MORE. HE WILL BE SUPREME CONQU-

Alice: Knifey.

Jasper: :cry: *sobs* NOOOOoooOO. TOO YOUNG!!! WAHHH!! *curls up in fetal position*
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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby Cullen_Lover » Sun Mar 28, 2010 4:23 pm

sorry something is messing up
Last edited by Cullen_Lover on Sun Mar 28, 2010 5:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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