Things that would never be said in the Twilight Saga II

[Hyvanna]

(Inspired by My Girl)
Bella comes out of her house pushes Edward to where he falls on his butt and says,
"I dont want to see you for Five to Seven days" then stomps back into the house.

[Cullen_Lover]

*Jessica is sitting in the back row hiding and watching the 3 and notices the seat next to her move*
Jessica: Edward! What are you doing here?
Edward: I'm not Edward. I'm just a theatre seat. Keeping an eye on my girlfriend.
Jessica: You made an outfit to match the theatre seats?
Edward: Don't be freaked out if you can't see me.
Jessica:

That is sooooo stolen from that one episode of Wizards of Waverly place with Alex and Harper. Not that I watch it....

[eliselovesedwardx]

*Jessica is sitting in the back row hiding and watching the 3 and notices the seat next to her move*
Jessica: Edward! What are you doing here?
Edward: I'm not Edward. I'm just a theatre seat. Keeping an eye on my girlfriend.
Jessica: You made an outfit to match the theatre seats?
Edward: Don't be freaked out if you can't see me.
Jessica:

That is sooooo stolen from that one episode of Wizards of Waverly place with Alex and Harper. Not that I watch it....

Yeah..I know..How could I come up with something like that on my own..
And I admit that I watch it..I love that show..So many funny things..

Actually..I can use one now! (My favourite..)

*When the Cullens try to go back to somewhere they have already been and are thinking of ways to be different*
Emmett: I know! I have the perfect decoy! I'll speak with an Australian accent.."G'day mate. I'd lilke a shrimp on the barbie sandywich. Mate."
Rest of the family:

Maybe I find it so funny because I am australian and we don't actually have "shrimps on the barbie" (we do have barbies though) or say "sandywich"..

[marielle]

OK I'll try one...tell me if it's not funny...

Half way eclipse Bella is wondering how charlie will reactie hem he finds out the choise is between a werewolf and a vampire.
She decides to ask him flat out:

- Bella: Dad, you aren't fair to Edward, know it is either a Vampire or a werewolf I end up with.
- Charlie: What do you mean?
- Bella: Who do you think I have to end up with the werewolf jake or the vampire edward?
- Charlie: Ok OK you win, your mom is allergic to dogs... take the Vampire...

[DramaPrincezz013]

Mmkay, I'm going to have a go at this.
(Keeping with the Wizards of Waverly Place thing, you'll only get it if youve seen the werewolf episode.)

Jacob: Now. Isabella. Did you happen to leave out one crucial piece of information on your Wizface page...like the fact that you're a dog?!
Edward: That's rediculous! I wouldn't be willing to commit myself to Isabella without having a pretty good idea of who she is. [To Bella] You're not a dog, are you?
Bella: No.
Edward: See?!
Bella: I'm a werewolf.
Jake And Edward:
Jacob: Whoa-ho-ho-ho, whoa I did not see that coming.

[Openhome]

Emmett is on the computer:

"Hey look! I can become a fan of the Volturi on Facebook! Oh, and I can adopt this cute cow!"

[ringswraith]

Bella, on her computer:

Today, I started at a new school and sat next to this drop-dead gorgeous guy in Biology. Then he started looking sick and covering his face like he was about to throw up. For the entire period. He then ran out of the room just as the bell rang without so much as a "Bye." FML.

Guess who...

Today, I went to go visit this beautiful girl I've had something of a crush on for a while, because she's been really sick. There was a moment where she took a turn for the worse, and I thought my heart would break. Then I saw her daughter. FML?

[dandyvampgirl_13]

PSH!! MLIA is better!!! FML... FML's!

Today, this guy I like told me he was a vampire, and he sparkled. He's too hot to let go, but inside, I was thinking, Is he gay or a unicorn? Note to self: Must poke his forehead in the near future and attempt to set him up with Mike. MLIA.

Speaking of Facebook, I think there should a Facebook-version of Twilight. We have a Facebook-Hamlet. And To Kill A Mockingbird. And Pride and Prejudice. Now we need Twilight. Twould be far more entertaining.

[willowtree]

xD haha, Kayla, awesome!
Go FarmVille!

*on facebook chat*

Emmett~ Hey, Bella.
Bella~ Hello, Emmett.
Emmett~ Whatcha doing?
Bella~ Nothing... why?
Emmett~ Good. Now, don't look out the window beside you where Edward's trying to hide your new car.
Bella~ WHAT?!?
Emmett~ What, he told me to distract you!

Not funny... But, uhm, I have nothing better to do except homework, so....

~h. f. e. l.

[Openhome]

Actually that is a lot like the chats I have with my daughter who is supposed to be doing homework and chatting with me instead.

Rosalie: Hey, everyone un-friended me!