Gex X--the 30 something thread

[BlueStarlight]

This is an interesting topic. I remember very clearly as a child playing outside all hours of the day, riding bikes with my brothers, building forts in the backyard, going to local parks, and hanging out with the neighborhood kids ALL WITHOUT PARENTAL SUPERVISION! In the summer, we went outside, and only came back in to eat or use the restroom. I remember getting an Atari system, then a Nintendo, but neither of them when they came out- it was a few years later, when the price came down. We didn't even get a VCR until 1989!

Hubby and I don't have kids, and I have always said that if I did have them, they wouldn't be attached to a game system or an iPod or a cell phone. It bothers me when kids sit in front of the tv all day. There's nothing wrong with a game system or watching tv, I just think that the time spent on them should be limited. Technology is a wonderful thing. I never would have found lost classmates if it weren't for my computer! Hehehe.. we'd never see Edward sparkle in the sun if it weren't for computers! Surgical procedures would still be "barbaric" if not for modern technology. Ours is a changing world, and we have to acknowledge it, or fall behind. Our kids are learning computer skills in Kindergarten in some places! Technology can be a wonderful teaching tool, too. It just worries me a little when kids would rather sit and watch tv or play a video game than interact with people. KUDOS to all you parents out there who set rules and make schedules for your kids concerning this!!

[shanon]

I have just read the posts, and it really cheered me up to know that there are other couples who may not see eye to eye on this subject. I hope that sounds right....Anyway, it was an excellent topic & I thank you for bringing it up.

Kymberli~ that is way cool about What About Bob? and Dirty Dancing!! I probably watched D.D. a million times when it came out! I use to kiss my P. Swayze poster goodnight!!
I still LOVE What About Bob? and watch it w/ my 2 closest girlfriends! We are always throwing out lines from the movie & act silly.

"I need a vacation. A vacation from my PROBLEMS!!"- love it!

[una]

That's why I love asking these types of questions. Especially this one, I think technology is a double edged sword. Just like anything, the goal is moderation. When I was a kid, we had an atari, we had games for our computer, we had our walkmans. But Variety, my parents were like you, when in social situations, you put the "toys" away and interact with people. My parents would tell us to shut the television off when "our" program was over and tell us to either read a book or play outside. We were not allowed television or games if our homework wasn't done. If my parents found out we lied about having homework done, we were grounded from our friends and toys. I completely agree that not all technology is bad, some are very educational and great for kids to do, just as some of the non-educational ones are okay for play time. But again, I think they need that balance of educational and non-educational, outdoor and indoor time.

Part of the reason I ask is two-fold. I have a close friend (my god-sister) who I believe has ADD but was never diagnosed (she was before the condition was discovered). When we go out to eat, she'll stop mid-sentence to answer a text or call. She'll do this WHILE we are eating. She'll do this while we are chatting before and/or after the meal. Sometimes, if we aren't actively eating, she'll play her game boy at the table while we are talking (while she does keep up conversation) but I find this horribly rude. I've come to notice that many parents it seem allow this behavior at meals. Plus, I know there is a lot of talk about kids not playing enough but wasting away in front of the computer/television. I think part of it is teaching kids moderation (in our culture where we try to saturate ourselves, immerse ourselves in things). Also by kids playing computer games they don't interact on the same levels as they do in outdoor play. Which makes me think that our children are missing out on those life lessons in human interaction and social morays. From most of the kids I meet, it seems more and more have less respect and seem to lack manners/social skills/etiquette. Basic manners is a big pet peeve of mine and it seems that our society through technology is loosing it's "refinement." I'm not saying I think we should revert back to the etiquette of the 50's, but those basic manners that show each person they are respected. However, if another one of my students sends me an email that looks like net-speak garbage, I'm going to shoot them (or add them to the meal suggestion box).

[Goodnight Elizabeth]

I am the type of person who will leave her phone in the car or on silent when visiting with friends either at home, their houses, or at dinner. I sometimes may answer my phone, but I will tell my friend who is calling that I'm with another friend and will return the call. Of course, there are exceptions to this.

One of my good friends must have her phone on and with her 100% of the time. She is contantly texting. She texts all the time. If she isn't texting or chatting, she is talking on her phone. She's called me once when I was out with a friend, and she was pissed when I didn't answer my phone. I told her I was visiting with someone, and that it's rude to ignore present company to talk to someone on the phone. She didn't say anything, but her behavior hasn't changed.

It's common decency.

I was in a restaurant a month ago and there was this older woman who talked on her phone the whole time she sat at her table. She didn't just talk; however, she shouted into her phone. It was disruptive.

Una: I have students who send me netspeak emails, too. I am an English teacher. I'm the last person one should netspeak to. I say we feed them to the Volturri.

[inspired]

GNE I am not shocked that your students would send you netspeak emails! I am a part of a parent panel hosting students from a class and UNC-Greensboro this semester and the professor was lamenting to me that these students are doing the same thing...in their senior year of college!! I absolutely love you solution! I was laughing so hard, when I read it, I almost shot soup out my nose.

[una]

Una: I have students who send me netspeak emails, too. I am an English teacher. I'm the last person one should netspeak to. I say we feed them to the Volturri.

You just MADE my day! Please, oh, please, let's do it!

I get really annoyed when people speak loudly while on the phone. Especially in restaurants and (grr...) museums. Places of gathering and such (and don't get me started on cell phones in church/seminars/etc). It is SO disrespectful to not only the people you are with, but those around you. Now, I know that important and urgent calls are one thing, but I have an example: I was at church, walking from my car to a rehearsal and a lady is there picking up her children from an after school program. She is talking loudly and stating, "I'm just so busy." Then she starts talking about all the things she has to do, the pressures and responsibilities. She was talking loudly enough for many around to hear which made it appear that she wanted people to notice her. It's like the people who need drama in their lives (I hope you know what I mean), drives me nuts. Why do you need people looking at you, it's as if some people just want attention and they don't care that there is a difference between good attention and bad attention.

I must apologize, I seem to be ranting today. I'm sorry! Allergy season has kicked in, I can't shake my headache from Sunday...I do not mean to take out my frustration on you good folks.

So...nice weather we are having...

[Kymberli]

I agree 100%, people just don't have manners any more. I agree it is common decency not to talk on your phone when you are out to dinner with people. If you have to take it, by that I mean..if the babysitter calls or your house is on fire kinda of thing...excuse yourself and quietly talk. The whole place doesn't need to hear your conversation. The one that gets me the most is the people with the bluetooth headsets. They are hard to see if a woman has one and her hair covers it. I have seen people talking on their headsets and to me it looks like a bunch of crazy people walking around talking to themselves . I agree we should feed them to the Volturri.

[skylarblue]

Una, I totally agree on the point that you made concerning children and even young adults these days totally are lacking in the manners department. That's the one BIG thing that I tought my son, is to always be respectful of others and use the manners that he was taught. Sometimes when he gets home from school (which he's in middle school) that he needs to check his attitude and bad manners at the door. He spends so much time there and some of those kids, have no parental guideance that they are just hoodlums and he knows I won't tollerate it.

The net-speak stuff drives me mad. I belong to HP forum and that's all they do there and half the time I don't understand what the heck they are saying. I have to actually google the abbreviations to actually understand and be involved in the conversation. To send emails to a professor (English at that) using net-speak is just sure laziness.

I remember growing up that whenever adults were talking, the kids were not allowed to join in the conversation unless they were spoken to directly sometimes, the kids weren't even allowed in the room. I remember being told to go outside or to my room to play.

So, many things have changed with how people raise their kids these days, sometimes it's almost sad.

[una]

Maybe I am wrong and I will be the first to admit and apologize. I do not have kids so this is purely from the outside looking in on the couples I know that have kids.

For the most part, it appears more parents now-a-days want to be their child's friend rather than their parent. I think that may be a large portion of the problem. Now, do I think that will solve everything, heck no, but I think it is a strong contribution to the lack of respect a good portion of today's youth have towards adults. I don't think parents are to be their children's friend and if so, that occurs when the child is an adult, out of the house and running their own life. That's when it is appropriate, but when kids are young, they are kids; children that as a parent you are to watch over, teach, guard and discipline as necessary. You give love, direction, affection, wisdom, but that is different from being a friend. You need that hierarchy in order to provide the protection, kids need to know when to listen and obey and when it's a relaxed setting. I'm not saying that you can't spend time with your kids chit-chatting and such (because parents need to spend quality time with their kids), but that there is a line in the relationship. I hope this makes sense.

[skylarblue]

Una I totally agree with you on that point about not being a friend but being a parent. For someone who doesn't have kids, you make very clean and precise points.

Excellent