Vampire Mating Skits Thread--Humor Based

[edward x lover]

OMG that is FABULOUS. So So So funny. HAHAHAHA. It is so true we can smell vulnerability. It's like a 6th sense. HAHAHA

[Wingtear]

Vulnerability? WHERE?!

[In the Fangirl mobile]
Lizzie: *on the phone* Sure Alice, no problem. Nothing too harsh. We'll see that Jasper learns his lesson*closes phone
Alcyone: What was that about?
Lizzie: Alice is just mad that Jasper didn't invite her along. She said to keep them for two days. They we're going to take their own girls night out.
MK: *rubbing hands together* fabulous....[/color]

Can I come along and play?

Wingtear: *dial phone* Hi Jake, if you make sure Rose stays around the house, we'll see to it that both Edward and Emmet will be away for a looong time... Nah, we got to release Jasper in 2 days ... Hey, you owe me for all the blondie-jokes I e-mailed you! *hangs up* Rosalie won't be a problem either...

[at the Cullen house]
Jake: Hey, Rosalie? How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb?
Rose: What now mongrel? I thought you had run out of those stupid lines already...
Jake: Nobody knows since the blonds still haven't managed to find diapers that suit them...
Rose: *jumps Jake, snarling* That's it!

[In the locker room]
Edward: *starting to look dizzy* Jazz, could you keep you thoughts down a little, my vision is getting blurry
Jasper: *screaming happily* Of course I can *BIIIG dazzling smile* BETTER NOW!
Emmet: Geez guys, come on, it'll look suspicious if I have to carry you both...
Edward: *starts singing Bellas lullaby* I... I... Ih can walk on my own *stumbles*
Jasper: Zzzz...
Emmet: Where is Alice when you need her?
Jasper: *wakes up briefly* Big bad Emmie needs help from a gi-i-irl...

[The_Lizzie]

Hehehe... Good one, good one.

Jasper: *wakes up briefly* Big bad Emmie needs help from a gi-i-irl...

Emmett: Do NOT *growl*
Jasper: *hiccup* Ooh... scary... *waves fingers (spirit fingers)*
Emmett: Just because you're contact drunk doesn't mean I can't beat you up emo boy
Jasper: Its Mister Emo boy to you *poke* Emmie Bear....
Emmett: *snarl* Silence!! *runs at Jasper and misses creating an imprint in the wall*
Jasper: *laughing* Oh thaat was good. Emmie went Boom! *hand gesture of explosion*
Edward: *unsteadily* Yeah i need to lay down... my world is spinning
[From far away]
Girl voice: *mischievous tone* I think we can help with that...

[Wingtear]

Jasper: Ohhh, Emmie Bear, you look so sweet I could just eat you whole *giggle*
Emmet: *snarl* Am I the only one responsible here? Edward!... Edward?..

[In the Fangirl mobile]
receiving sms: 2 down, Emmet to go...
Wingtear: Lizzie, did you bring your grizzly-suit...
Lizzie: the realistic one or the one?

[In the back of Fangirl mobile]
Jasper: *drowsily* Where's my Emmie Bear? *giggle*
Fangirl: Never mind him, I'll be your teddy for tonight...

[The_Lizzie]

Hehehe "I'll be your teddy for tonight"... I like that one...

[Wingtear]

[In the back of Fangirl mobile]
Lizzie: Hey, that's my grizzly-nurse suit! Stop playing with my toys (boys)!
Fangirl: Get lost! I was here first!
Lizzie: I said, he's mine! At least 'til Emmets captured... *smashes fangirl over the face with pillow*
Fangirl: greedy! *takes a pillow and hits back*

Wingtear: What are you doing? The van is full of feathers, and what's that noice?
*all looking down at a growling Edward, snapping for every pillow he can reach*
Jasper: Oooh... look at all the pretty snowflakes.

[fymd_mk]

Jasper: There's so many...colours...
Wingtear: Come here Jazz *dangles whisk in front of his face* I've got some more colours in the back.
Jasper: *nods and smiles* Immm coming !

Lizzie: Edward!
Edward: *rips pillow with teeth* What? I want my Bella this reminds me off her!
Lizzie: Wingtear! Get Jasper to do something about this mess!
Wingtear: Oh Jazzy-kins, what do you say we have a little one on one time.
Jasper: Yes ma'am

Lizzie: Edward, you have been very naughty disobeying my orders.
Edward: *puppy face* I'm sorryyy... I can make it up to you!
Lizzie: Oh yes you will.

MK: Emmett! Get away from those sprinkles! We have to learn to share them
Emmett: But I want the leopard ones!
MK: I take it back, get the sprinkles!

I know I've been gone lately, too much hw! But I'm glad you guys are doing skits

[Wingtear]

I'll participate again as soon as I stop laughing so hard I can't think

[Wingtear]

WT: Jazzy-zazzy, could you make Emmie bear a little more cuddly for MK.
Jasper: *taking in the collected... "happiness"... of a van full of fangirls* Yes ma'am. And what can I do for you?

Emmet: Let's wrestle darling, I've got a point to score.
MK: Oh my, thanx Jazz
*Jasper's to busy, can't answer right now, try again later...*

Lizzie: Wingtear, you better make sure you don't leave any marks, I told Alice we'd return him intact...
WT: Oh, bummer... Nah, she won't notice a new scar here or there
Jasper: *still high on "happiness"* Where are you, you can run but you cannot hide. Ready or not, here I come...

[Wingtear]

[the fangirl mobile is rocking heavily]
WT: Lizzie? What you doing up front? I'm getting smashed by these two stone guys rolling around...
Lizzie: It's not us *looks out the window* Oh shoot! the rpattz-fandom has found us.
WT: ... Oh Jasper *using her smoothest voice ever* could you just *plays with the curls in his neck* make the girls outside fall asleep, so we can continue what we started earlier *wiggles whisk again*
***
WT: Jazz, there still seem to be some awake...
MK: Don't worry, it's just us