Vampire Mating Skits Thread--Humor Based

[Meztli]

Oh my gosh! That's funny stuff. Okay I'll give it a shot.

Mez:Mothership to Vamp-nappers, Mothership to Vamp-nappers, we got Deadly Blonde coming at you four.eight miles Northwest Indian Gulf Niner of your position. Do you wish to initiate Destraction ploy?

[Wingtear]

WT: SH*T!!! I knew I shouldn't have skipped code-class... Jazzy? please calm me...
Jasper: *whispers softly* it's just rosalie, don't worry, you're not playing with Emmet, right...
WT: *looks guilty* eum... well... not very much...
Lizzie: Deploy everything you got! I'm in the middle of something here...
Edward: What the duck? is Zac Efron doing here?
WT: Oh!... he's my vision of.. eh... you... Lizzie could bring rpattz... *looks with puppy-dog eyes*
Jasper: How do I look?
WT: Close your eyes and I'll show you...

MK: Mez? Are you enjoying the cameras we mounted? Seen anything good? Emmie-bear, you'd better come hide here in my arms

[Meztli]

Mez: Initiating Distraction Ploy! *Smashs Big red button*

Meanwhile 4 miles away...
"I knew those fanclub girls would try something iffy. Wait till I get my hands on them..." Mumbled Rose.
Suddenly a giant ten-foot mirror sprouts out of the ground right in front of Rosalie.
"...Well, hello there gorgeous" Rose studying herself. Three more mirrors erupt, creating a box with a titanuim lid.
Mez: Mothership to Vamp-nappers, Ploy successful. You got about three more days. And me no watching camera feed. Not right to see my brother procreating

[Wingtear]

WT:Pefrect! God job Mez *picks up phone, calls mike newton* Hey, we left a treat for you, call the central to find out where.
Lizzie: *moans* Do... you ... want... us... to... bring so-ooomething.... special... for... you... on the... way... back...

[Meztli]

Mez: No I'm good *phone rings* Hello?
......
Mez: Oh, hey Mike. What's up?
......
Mez: A present? Nope, no presents. Sorry *hangs up* I know we want Mike dead but I'd rather leave that to Edward. Besides, if Rose got out we'd be in trouble. I don't have anymore money for giant mirrors.

[Wingtear]

WT: Nah, he'd never had dared go that close, I just wanted him to drool himself to death

[The_Lizzie]

Holey canoley... and i thought I was bad. You girls are growing up so fast .... You'll be ready to head your own operations soon....


I really liked "What the duck?". I think i'll use that one later

[Wingtear]

WT: What the duck? Lizzie? You ain't leaving me!
*ties Lizzie down, strapping her to a set of furniture*
WT: Now, where were we?
Jasper: Where am I? *looks confused*
WT: shoot...

[Cullen_Lover]

lol OMG!!!lololololololol