Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga
-
- Riding in the Rabbit
- Posts: 3407
- Joined: Mon Jan 19, 2009 7:57 pm
- Location: Here, there, and everywhere in between.
Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga
Jen and Bri~ LOVED that! I was laughing like a hyena from that and Bri's post!
*Edward sitting in the cottage reading Interview with a Vampire*
Edward: And people say I'm a sad excuse of a vampire! Have people ever even read this book!?
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
*Edward and Bella on their honeymoon*
Bella: *takes deep breath* Edward, I'm pregnant.
Edward:
...Oh wait. That really happened.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Renee: Bella, Bella honey. You need to get up.
Bella: *tosses and turns in bed, still somewhat asleep* Edward....Edward. No don't leave me. You said we'd be-
Renee: Bella. *shakes Bella gently* Bella dear. Wake up.
Bella: Err...huh? What? Where am I? Why am I not in Forks with Charlie?
Renee: Oh. *laughs gently* honey, you leave today for Forks. You're in your room at home...in Phoenix. Who's Edward?
Bella: You... ...you mean it was a dream?
Renee: Yes, dear. You were sleeping.
Bella: Noooooo!!!!
-the next day-
Jessica: Have you heard about the Cullens?
Bella: No. Who are they?
Jessica: *explains who the Cullens are and points over to their table*
Bella: *looks over to their table* Oh.My.God. They're real...then that means...*whispers to self* I'm going to end up marrying a vampire and having his demon spawn.
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Bella: Edward, I'm leaving you.
Edward: wh-what...why!?
Bella: I'm leaving you to be with Robert Pattinson.
Edward: WHAT!?
Bella: Well, he looks just like you except he's human, has better hair, and he has a British accent.
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
And....my brain died.
*Edward sitting in the cottage reading Interview with a Vampire*
Edward: And people say I'm a sad excuse of a vampire! Have people ever even read this book!?
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
*Edward and Bella on their honeymoon*
Bella: *takes deep breath* Edward, I'm pregnant.
Edward:
...Oh wait. That really happened.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Renee: Bella, Bella honey. You need to get up.
Bella: *tosses and turns in bed, still somewhat asleep* Edward....Edward. No don't leave me. You said we'd be-
Renee: Bella. *shakes Bella gently* Bella dear. Wake up.
Bella: Err...huh? What? Where am I? Why am I not in Forks with Charlie?
Renee: Oh. *laughs gently* honey, you leave today for Forks. You're in your room at home...in Phoenix. Who's Edward?
Bella: You... ...you mean it was a dream?
Renee: Yes, dear. You were sleeping.
Bella: Noooooo!!!!
-the next day-
Jessica: Have you heard about the Cullens?
Bella: No. Who are they?
Jessica: *explains who the Cullens are and points over to their table*
Bella: *looks over to their table* Oh.My.God. They're real...then that means...*whispers to self* I'm going to end up marrying a vampire and having his demon spawn.
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Bella: Edward, I'm leaving you.
Edward: wh-what...why!?
Bella: I'm leaving you to be with Robert Pattinson.
Edward: WHAT!?
Bella: Well, he looks just like you except he's human, has better hair, and he has a British accent.
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
And....my brain died.
Fan Fiction Addict•The Halfway House and Brute Squad Member•Banner/Signature OCD
Team Edward•JazzGirl's Official MiniMe•Cullenist•Keeper of the Names•Hatter Obsessed
Team Edward•JazzGirl's Official MiniMe•Cullenist•Keeper of the Names•Hatter Obsessed
-
- I'm A Proud Twilight Guy
- Posts: 3825
- Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2009 2:05 pm
- Location: Chugging the postahol. On MSN, most likely. Tieing Sarah in thunderball.
Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga
Edward: Rose, marry me!
Rose: But Edward-
*Gestures to Bella, who is close to Edward in bed*
Edward: *punches Bella in the mouth and pushes her off the mattress* Puh-leaze.
Rose: Sorry Edward.
Bella: *Gets up, and tries to lie next to Edward*
Edward: *Kicks Bella in the head* Get me a soda!
Bella: *Runs off*
Edward: *Nails Rose, she flies across the room. Runs off with Jacob.*
Once again...it's probably not too funny.
Rose: But Edward-
*Gestures to Bella, who is close to Edward in bed*
Edward: *punches Bella in the mouth and pushes her off the mattress* Puh-leaze.
Rose: Sorry Edward.
Bella: *Gets up, and tries to lie next to Edward*
Edward: *Kicks Bella in the head* Get me a soda!
Bella: *Runs off*
Edward: *Nails Rose, she flies across the room. Runs off with Jacob.*
Once again...it's probably not too funny.
Al Puccini of the Mafia, Santiago of Volturi, Major Peter of JCA, EDC Bulldozer Trainee, APPC Host Jenni - TwiGirl
-
- Running with Leah 'cause she thinks I'm hawt
- Posts: 4633
- Joined: Fri Dec 12, 2008 2:46 pm
Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga
Bit of a crossover...
Cordelia Chase: So let me get this straight. This chick falls for a vampire, gets hunted by vampires, saves a vampire, and then ends up carrying demon spawn in her womb? So been there, done that.
Cordelia Chase: So let me get this straight. This chick falls for a vampire, gets hunted by vampires, saves a vampire, and then ends up carrying demon spawn in her womb? So been there, done that.
-
- Has Caught Sight of Edward
- Posts: 1067
- Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2009 10:51 pm
- Location: Moses Lake, Washington
- Contact:
Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga
^^ LMAO I LOVE Angel references!
"And if you ever kiss her again, I will break your jaw for her," he promised.
Team Edward, Alice and Cullen! Swoonist. Mrs.Edward_Cullen<3's brain twin!
Team Edward, Alice and Cullen! Swoonist. Mrs.Edward_Cullen<3's brain twin!
Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga
Human Bella: I'm going to the gym to work out!
I was listening to my audiobook while working out and I thought, "Man, why doesn't Bella ever have to work out? She eats pizza, mushroom ravioli, cereal, pop tarts, and granola bars, she apparently has a good bod cause all the guys want her AND she gets the perfect guy! Man, I should have been born a fictional character.
Elle
I was listening to my audiobook while working out and I thought, "Man, why doesn't Bella ever have to work out? She eats pizza, mushroom ravioli, cereal, pop tarts, and granola bars, she apparently has a good bod cause all the guys want her AND she gets the perfect guy! Man, I should have been born a fictional character.
Elle
-
- Resisting Temptation With Carlisle
- Posts: 2723
- Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 11:43 pm
- Location: New Zealand
- Contact:
Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga
Bella: Aww Edward, please stop crying. =[
^ by ForJazz
"Theres a lot of like, feminist issues with the book. Like, 'Oh, she's so devoted to him' and well yeah, she's in love with him"
- Kristen Stewart
-
- Banging Out Dents with Tyler
- Posts: 388
- Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 8:01 pm
- Location: WHY CAN'T I SLEEP?
Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga
DudeRocksTheTwilight wrote:Edward: Rose, marry me!
Rose: But Edward-
*Gestures to Bella, who is close to Edward in bed*
Edward: *punches Bella in the mouth and pushes her off the mattress* Puh-leaze.
Rose: Sorry Edward.
Bella: *Gets up, and tries to lie next to Edward*
Edward: *Kicks Bella in the head* Get me a soda!
Bella: *Runs off*
Edward: *Nails Rose, she flies across the room. Runs off with Jacob.*
Once again...it's probably not too funny.
I was laughing so hard at that
*Edward struts around*
Edward: 1234 baby you scream if you wants some more, say AHHHH push it push it. watch me work it. I'm worth it. PERFECT, perfect
that wasn't funny...stupid song....
-------------------------
Jasper: I want Edward, He's delicious
Emmett: NOO he's MINE!!
* pull on edward's arms*
Edward: NOOO I"M JUST TOO BEAUTIFUL!!!
Carlisle: BOYS, BOYS!! what is wrong with you??? fighting over Edward like that! * gestures to Jasper* you can have him on mondays, tuesdays, and Fridays *gestures to emmett* you can have him on wednesdays, thursdays and Saturday's
All three: what about Sunday?
Carlisle: Mike can have him
Edward: OOOhh i LOVE blondies!!
Bella: what about me?
*edward looks, punches her on the mouth*
Edward: GET ME SOME SMOKES!!!!!
Bella runs off
----------------------------
-at forks high school-
*mike passes Edward, smiles a pervy smile and waggles eyevrows suggestively*
Edward: *cringe* I HATE mind reading ability awesomeness
Bella: * looks at mike* *grins broadly* Think about it Edward. Your hotness breaks the gender barrier!
-------------------------
Edward: I LIKE MEN!!!
Rosalie: I SLAPPED ANGELINA JOLIE!
Carlisle: I PUT JASPER UP FOR ADOPTION!!
Bella: I MAKE OUT WITH A KEN DOLL!!
Emmett: I....want....BOOBIES!!!
Jasper: CUPCAKE!!!
Esme: I MADE OUT WITH ARO!!!
everyone: *scoots away*
Monica Romela, the Spaz of the Mafia; The Cheerful Assassin
Banner courtesy of Cullen_Lover
Co-Founder of ALESW; Awesome League of Extroadinary Skit Writers. Yes, it's sparkly.
Banner courtesy of Cullen_Lover
Co-Founder of ALESW; Awesome League of Extroadinary Skit Writers. Yes, it's sparkly.
-
- Fishing with Charlie
- Posts: 848
- Joined: Wed Oct 01, 2008 9:05 pm
- Location: Being the village idiot
Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga
I actually laughed out loud. Now I'm getting funny looks.DoNotFeartheDark wrote:Carlisle: I PUT JASPER UP FOR ADOPTION!!
-
- Banging Out Dents with Tyler
- Posts: 388
- Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 8:01 pm
- Location: WHY CAN'T I SLEEP?
Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga
Lacuna Scion wrote:I actually laughed out loud. Now I'm getting funny looks.DoNotFeartheDark wrote:Carlisle: I PUT JASPER UP FOR ADOPTION!!
Monica Romela, the Spaz of the Mafia; The Cheerful Assassin
Banner courtesy of Cullen_Lover
Co-Founder of ALESW; Awesome League of Extroadinary Skit Writers. Yes, it's sparkly.
Banner courtesy of Cullen_Lover
Co-Founder of ALESW; Awesome League of Extroadinary Skit Writers. Yes, it's sparkly.
-
- Teaching Eric Social Graces
- Posts: 206
- Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2008 2:52 pm
- Location: Florida
- Contact:
Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga
Edward: Bella love, will you...
Bella: THAT'S IT! ALL OF YOU IN THIS BOOK ARE A BUNCH OF SEXIST PIGS!!! I AM NOT YOUR MAID! I AM NOT YOUR HOUSEKEEPER! I AM NOT YOUR COOK! AND I AM NOT YOUR PROPERTY!! SO WHAT IF I LIKE TO SEE JACOB ON THE WEEKENDS? HMMM? IF YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN JUST SET UP ALL OF THESE OPPRESSIVE RULES TO UNDERMINE MY FEMININITY AND TREAT ME AS YOUR SUBORDINATE YOU ARE MISTAKEN! HELLO EDWARD!!!! WE ARE NO LONGER IN THE VICTORIAN ERA! JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE MONEY, SUPERPOWERS, AND A STONE COLD **CK DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME! THAT'S IT! I WILL NO LONGER CATER TO ANYONE!! STOP FORCING ME TO MARRY YOU!!! AND STOP GIVING ME THOSE EERY GLANCES AT MY WOMB!! OH! AND CHARLIE! COOK YOUR OWN DINNER!!!!
Everyone:
Edward: ...pass the remote... *sigh* is it the third week of the month already?
Bella: THAT'S IT! ALL OF YOU IN THIS BOOK ARE A BUNCH OF SEXIST PIGS!!! I AM NOT YOUR MAID! I AM NOT YOUR HOUSEKEEPER! I AM NOT YOUR COOK! AND I AM NOT YOUR PROPERTY!! SO WHAT IF I LIKE TO SEE JACOB ON THE WEEKENDS? HMMM? IF YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN JUST SET UP ALL OF THESE OPPRESSIVE RULES TO UNDERMINE MY FEMININITY AND TREAT ME AS YOUR SUBORDINATE YOU ARE MISTAKEN! HELLO EDWARD!!!! WE ARE NO LONGER IN THE VICTORIAN ERA! JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE MONEY, SUPERPOWERS, AND A STONE COLD **CK DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME! THAT'S IT! I WILL NO LONGER CATER TO ANYONE!! STOP FORCING ME TO MARRY YOU!!! AND STOP GIVING ME THOSE EERY GLANCES AT MY WOMB!! OH! AND CHARLIE! COOK YOUR OWN DINNER!!!!
Everyone:
Edward: ...pass the remote... *sigh* is it the third week of the month already?
"and the boy loved the tree"