ana; wrote:anyways, on a serious note.
i was just thinking about this on my birthday.
do you guys think humans are meant to love one person?
like it's our nature to be monogamous? (sp?).
and i'm not talking about cheating or the physical part, but it seems hard to love someone all your life and commit to that person.
this may sound like completely nonsense.
but, to me it seems just impossible to love just one person in your entire life.
i'm 18, it's young I know.. some of you are married.
but i'm like super scared to get married one day.
seeing how many divorces happen. maybe we are meant to spend our lives with more than just one person?
love dies so easily, you see couples who just stay together for the kids and stuff. but there are some lucky people who do find their lifetime partner, but it's not that common.
i don't know, i'm talking nonsense.
is just something that got me thinking so much this past week.
Ahhh, Happy Birthday Ana! Wow! That is deep, and No, it is not nonsense. It's a tough question to answer, though.
I know I have loved several men in my life (really loved 3), and I still love them, in a way. I think...no, I know that marriage is really really difficult. If you choose to commit to one person, that commitment is not supposed to stop just because that person is bugging you or seems to have changed. It is supposed to be a changing, growing, evolving love and it takes A LOT of hard work.
And, in a lot of marriages people give up too quickly because they don't want to go through the trouble of figuring it out. My husband and I have been married for 12 years, and we went through many many turbulent times! The last really bad time was 3 years ago and we had decided to split because we thought we were just too different from each other. We were living together but separate lives for several months and I was getting ready to move out and file for divorce and he started having second thoughts and we started talking and we set down ground rules for each other that we had to agree to if we were going to try again.
So, we both agreed to them and it's been pretty great ever since. We still have small troubles but we're able to talk about them more easily now and we are both able to stop in the middle of a disagreement and say "Wait a minute. This is not working, listen to what I'm saying". And the other one of us can step back and say "You know, you're right, I'm not treating you very fairly, I can see your point". It's very rare to find two people together who can do that, so I feel pretty special that I've got that now. I'm not saying it will always be like this, or that it will work in the long run, but I feel like it will.
Don't give up on marriage before you even marry. Just wait. Give it time. Enjoy your younger years without worrying so much about marriage. You'll know when it feels right. I can't stress enough though to find someone you can talk to. Really talk to. Someone that you know will listen to you. Communication is the absolute KEY to a good marriage, because ALL marriages are rocky, you just have to make sure you have a four wheel drive in the communications department that will get you over the rocky parts.