Lol guys!! *sigh* I'm so glad this thread is back up and running. I missed it all summer.
Mysterious Voice (MV): You are all dreaming. You will now leave the store and go to Larry's Pet Emporium and buy a puppy. You will never think of these Twilight-themed fan merchandise again.
Bella: Wh--Wh-- Who are you??
Nessie: Don't be scared Momma. I'll make the nasty man go away.
Alice: Who's doing thi-- OH. *snorts* This is stupid. Buy whatever you want guys.
Rosalie: If you don't tell me what's going on in 3 seconds I swear I'll--
Alice: Chill Rose. It's just some stupid human from Larry's Pet Shop.
MV: Pet EMPORIUM. Not shop, EMPORIUM. Now GO BUY A PUPPY.
Bella: This is a scam to get us to buy a puppy?
Nessie :I WANT A PUPPY!!!
Alice: Nessie, this puppy won't be six feet tall and it won't turn into a guy who gives you whatever you want. This puppy will be NORMAL. It will drool and poop on the floor and lick your face.
Nessie: Well maybe THIS puppy will love me... *sniffs*
Bella: Oh Nessie! Jake still loves you!!!
Rosalie: Are you kidding? That mutt do---
Bella: *vicious glare at Rosalie*
Rosalie: I mean... Jake's just having some family issues right now. It's hard for him. Don't take it personally.
Nessie: What kind of issues?
Bella: He's just got... adult problems. You'll get them when you're older sweetie.
Nessie: He's seeing someone else, isn't he? Just until I'm older, so he can have a life until then? *sobs* Just like he told Quil... That traitor. *more sobbing*
Bella: How do you know he told Quil that?
Nessie: *still crying* It's in the book. Duh. Where do you think these shirts came from?
Alice: THAT'S what millions of teenage girls are obsessing over at this very moment in time?????
Nessie: Yeah. Why do you think I wanted a Team Jacob shirt? He's MINE and they need to know that. YA HEAR ME??!! HE'S MINE!! ALL MINE. MINE MINE MINEY MINE MINE.
Bella, Alice, Rosalie: Jake: Did you hear that?
Seth: Hear what?
Jake: It sounded like... Nessie.
Seth: It sounded like those obnoxious seagulls from Finding Nemo...
Jake: Seth, be serious.
Seth: Yes mister most high alpha sir man dude.
Jake: And don't call me that.
Seth: Yes mister most hi-- oops. Sorry.
Not my best, but whatever.
Some things exist, whether you believe in them or not. ~Valiant by Holly Black