I agree with you all.
I, too, was ready to fall for Jared through Melanie's memories. But then seing him outside of the memories--he was so hardened. So closed. Frigtening, really.
But Ian, I started softening to him almost immediately--from when he first started asking Jared about her when she was in the hole.
I love Edward. But he's unattainable--he's not realistic--neither for women who dream about finding him or for men to aspire to. Ian, on the other hand is human. Flawed with normal human flaws. He good, kind, understanding and loving. But not perceived as perfect. Most touching of all is that he loves Wanda for herself--not for her body but for her soul (so to speak). He knows her, he understands her and protects her from herself. I think that he's a more realistic hero than Edward. And I really like him for that.