Gutter Gals & Guys - Baking Peach Cobbler

Re: Gutter Gals & Guys - Baking Peach Cobbler

Postby oleander » Sun Jan 11, 2009 11:17 pm

CG, again, i'm sorry for you loss.

I'm probably not the best person to answer your question about keeping your faith during a time of profound loss because i threw it all out the window when my father died. I was angry and frustrated and the mere mention of anything religious/faith-based sent me into a rage. It didn't help that he died before Easter and his funeral was Easter Saturday and the pastor was going on and on about how they buried Jesus and he rose again three days later. All I could think was...yeah, well that's Jesus, my dad isn't going to rise again in three days. Way to rub it in, jerk. There was so much anger coming out of me i swear there were laser beams shooting from my eyes.

Anyone who isn't a horrible heathen have something better to add?
Image
User avatar
oleander
Ignoring Renee's E-Mails
 
Posts: 769
Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 9:50 pm
Location: Chillin' with Angstward

Re: Gutter Gals & Guys - Baking Peach Cobbler

Postby BlueStarlight » Sun Jan 11, 2009 11:54 pm

Aw, CG, that is awful news. You and the family will be in my prayers. I was raised in church, Baptist by denomination. I've talked on here about how strict this church was. Hubby and I decided 2 years after getting married that that was not what we wanted for our lives and left there. *sigh* It's been a rough go of finding another church where we feel like we fit in. I haven't stepped foot in a church in 3 years. I'm a bit embarrassed to say that, because I can not remember a time growing up when I wasn't in church. Anyway... CG, the book of Psalms was always a comfort, especially Psalm 23. Our Pastor read it at every funeral. It always helped to focus on the good of the person, the times shared with them. Our Pastor also told us that it may be a shock to us when someone goes, but that God has a plan and a date when He wants to bring someone home. We just need to take comfort that that person is in a better place and know that it was his/her time to go.
Image
User avatar
BlueStarlight
Hanging Up on Jessica
 
Posts: 650
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2008 10:55 am
Location: in my field of paper flowers

Re: Gutter Gals & Guys - Baking Peach Cobbler

Postby ellalou73 » Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:00 am

Cullengirl, I am sorry to hear about your friend and I will keep all of you in my prayers. I wish I knew how to answer your question and I'll certainly pray for you to find some understanding in this. I think reading the 23rd Psalm like Bluestarlight said might also bring you some comfort and if your are close to your minister talk to him or her as well. Also try and remember all of the good times you had with your friend, I know it might be hard to do now but when you are ready that might also help some.
User avatar
ellalou73
Hiding Lauren's Hair Dye
 
Posts: 463
Joined: Mon Sep 15, 2008 3:46 pm
Location: Kentucky

Re: Gutter Gals & Guys - Baking Peach Cobbler

Postby spookybell » Mon Jan 12, 2009 2:48 am

cullengirl wrote:Not to be Debbi Downer but, how do you maintain your spirituality/faith in times like these?


You reach out for your friends, remember to breath, get through one hour at a time, one day at a time.

Not to sound like a 12 step program. But it's hard. It's not easy and it hurts a lot. You mourn together and hug each other and down the road, you notice your heart still hurts but it's a bit. Thinging of Johnny and his Rum song dancing around the island bonfire and thinking of you! Big hugs!!!

I don't think the 23rd Psalm will work out LOL... the whole non-of those religions... maybe I am just speking for myself, but I think Rum and I are not in the Catholosisim group. :)
Last edited by spookybell on Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Image
Sometimes I am not satisfied with my signature!
User avatar
spookybell
Part of Carlisle's Clan
 
Posts: 2125
Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2008 9:18 pm
Location: gnawing on Edward's earlobe

Re: Gutter Gals & Guys - Baking Peach Cobbler

Postby BlueStarlight » Mon Jan 12, 2009 10:25 am

Hmm, Spooky. I really don't know what to say. I have been to several funerals at church; they were all of church people who had passed. Then there's all of hubby's and my grandparents' funerals. I've only been to one funeral of a person who absolutely did not believe in God in some way; the atmosphere was just different there. There was just no way to comfort the family; they were distraught. It felt like there was no peace among them.

I answered the question as I what I would do to deal with a death...that's the way I was raised to handle it. I certainly did not mean to push my views on here. I've never had someone very close to me pass away. My grandparents lived out of state, and I didn't see them often. Their deaths were expected; still, it was hard to hear the news of their passings.

My advice would be this: if you are a religious person, seek counsel from someone at church. If you're not a religious person, seek counsel from someone older who has had people close to him pass away. Every faith is different, and I only know the faith I was brought up in. CG's question dealt with holding onto your faith in a time like this...well, you do whatever it is your faith teaches you about the soul and it's afterlife. Talk to others about the one who passed away; if need be, join a support group. Everyone deals with death in his own way, and it helps to have people to talk to.
Image
User avatar
BlueStarlight
Hanging Up on Jessica
 
Posts: 650
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2008 10:55 am
Location: in my field of paper flowers

Re: Gutter Gals & Guys - Baking Peach Cobbler

Postby bac » Mon Jan 12, 2009 11:04 am

cullengirl wrote:Not to be Debbi Downer but, how do you maintain your spirituality/faith in times like these?


CG, hugs to you. I agree with what everyone has said so far. You reach out to family and friends, you cry, you get mad, you get sad, feel what you need to feel. Spooky is right in that you need to hold onto/maintain the spirituality/faith of your particular faith. BSL is right that for her, it was looking to a particular scripture that gave her peace. So how do I maintain my particular faith during tough times? Sometimes it is hard. For me, I talk to my family (they are the same religion as me), I pray. Sometimes the faith my go away a bit, but somehow deep in my heart I know what I believe. So I am always able to come back to it after a tough spot. Really for me it is having the support of those that believe the same way that I do and trying to keep praying even if it is out of routine, just to get me through until I am in a better place. I hope some of that made sense.
Image
by Laniyeah on photobucket
User avatar
bac
Mesmerized by her own Dr. Cullen
 
Posts: 1573
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2008 10:33 pm
Location: Lookin' super cool in my Wonder Woman shirt

Re: Gutter Gals & Guys - Baking Peach Cobbler

Postby una » Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:31 pm

CG you, your family and Mr. A's family are all in my prayers. You have my deepest condolences.

Cullengirl wrote:Not to be Debbi Downer but, how do you maintain your spirituality/faith in times like these?

Similar to others, I was born and raised in my faith. Death is a very difficult subject for me even with that foundation of faith. I find comfort in the knowledge that the person that has passed is in the better place whether you call that heaven or after-life. However, that does nothing for me in the loss I feel in the lack of their presence with me now. However, I talk to friends and family, cry and seek understanding. As the optimist that I am, I believe things happen for a reason and even horrible, awful things can be used for good. Something positive can come from a negative event. I find comfort in knowing that when my time comes I shall see them again in that after-life but until then I miss them. It is easier to handle death when it comes at end of a long life but when it does it. It is those times you lean on family and friends, it is why you have them. To support, to comfort, to give you the love you need to see it through. A past pastor at my church really helped me through a series he did on the stages of grief. It really helped me to understand that what you feel is natural and the progression you need to go through so you can heal. No matter how long those individual steps take, you need to go through them. I'd be happy to get you that info if you like, I know it helped me.

And so I can stop trying to not cry at work...a psd to bring a smile to our tear stained faces! What Host character does he look like?? When the Dark-Hunters unwind with a friendly game of football.
I am the Impulsive VampVixen.
Image
Thanks to SprtyGal and Fry for the AWESOME banner!
User avatar
una
Secret Spy for the Warden
 
Posts: 2533
Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 8:18 pm
Location: Sequestered in an alternate reality full of paranormal studs who find me irresitable!

Re: Gutter Gals & Guys - Baking Peach Cobbler

Postby bac » Mon Jan 12, 2009 4:47 pm

OOooh, thanks for those Una. I might have to play some touch football with those boys.

I just saw this on the front page and thought I would share. I hope the link works. I am feeling a little dirty for thinking that Taylor Lautner is looking good. I am proud of him like a mom for working so hard for the part of Jacob. Such conflict...mom feelings, not mom at all feelings....Oh, anyways, he is cute.

http://www.accesshollywood.com/video_92 ... od%20Video
Image
by Laniyeah on photobucket
User avatar
bac
Mesmerized by her own Dr. Cullen
 
Posts: 1573
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2008 10:33 pm
Location: Lookin' super cool in my Wonder Woman shirt

Re: Gutter Gals & Guys - Baking Peach Cobbler

Postby Lynzeee » Mon Jan 12, 2009 6:27 pm

bac wrote:OOooh, thanks for those Una. I might have to play some touch football with those boys.

I just saw this on the front page and thought I would share. I hope the link works. I am feeling a little dirty for thinking that Taylor Lautner is looking good. I am proud of him like a mom for working so hard for the part of Jacob. Such conflict...mom feelings, not mom at all feelings....Oh, anyways, he is cute.

http://www.accesshollywood.com/video_92 ... od%20Video



HOLY MOTHER!!! Taylor why you gotta be 16 hon'? man he looks awesome- did you see his abs thats unreal! okay i need to stop oggling the freaking kid already.

Una~ I was raised with faith also, I've sort of given up on that faith but that was my choice, i too didn't find that faith itself helped with the loss. I have lost a lot of people in my life and in nothing but tragic ways, I think the straw that broke the the camels back in the sense of faith with me was when a Friend of mine who was more like a little sister was shot ten times in the head last December, i couldn't and still don't understand why... Death isn't something i deal with in a great way.

okay back to happy note.
i am not team Jacob, But Taylor is definitely looking good!
Keeper of The Randomness
Image
"Just because you can, doesn't mean you should"-Acheron Parthenopaeus
User avatar
Lynzeee
Decorating with Esme
 
Posts: 2204
Joined: Tue Aug 26, 2008 10:05 pm
Location: In texas, Hiding out from GNE!

Re: Gutter Gals & Guys - Baking Peach Cobbler

Postby Goodnight Elizabeth » Mon Jan 12, 2009 8:31 pm

Taylor is always adorable, and his body is tight, but he is still a young boy. I brought my husband into the room and said "How old does this guy look?" KNE says, "Guy?? That's a boy." I then told him that Taylor will be playing a character who passes for 25-27 years old. KNE shook his head, chuckled, and walked out of the room. Yeah. My thoughts exactly. We know Jake's body matures, and I always assumed his voice deepened as well. How do you guys think Jake's voice will be handled? As of right now, Taylor still sounds like a teen.

I'm purposely avoiding the discussion on faith. My faith ran out a long time ago. I guess in a way that is an answer. I felt betrayed. I still feel betrayed. On a similar note, I handle grief and sadness by talking to a close friend, wallowing in melancholic music, and watching terribly sad movies.
Image
Squee! Thank you, Nena!
User avatar
Goodnight Elizabeth
Lusting for Blood
 
Posts: 1387
Joined: Sat Aug 16, 2008 6:44 pm
Location: There...plotting Lynz's demise :D

PreviousNext

Return to The Cullen Basement

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests