It's funny how there being an 'elite' set at work is great when you're in it. But not so much when it turns and bites you. I'm so pissed off, how they can all be so sweet and nice to my face one day, and then ding dong the witch is dead which old witch the wicked witch about me, not particuilarly subtley the next. So the guy i've liked for oooh...2 years, one of the deputy managers so technically above me, still thinks it's hillarious to humilliate me. I thought he was supposed to be my friend. When it's just the 2 of us, driving home or whatever, he can be really sweet, funny, interesting, all that, and he actually bothers to listen to me. Yes, he's gay. Yes, I should stop. And I'm trying, because every time I make up (More, he laughs at me when I get angry with him, so I stop) with him, he always turns on me again.
It seems like he's just so desperate for attention that he's willing to drop me, who's supposed to be his friend, in a split-second to get it. Because newer, prettier co-workers came along. Yes, I'm not leggy, tanned, blonde, or as good looking as them (Though why he's bothered, I'm not quite sure). Yes, I may have a brain, and a sense of humour above giggling though my nose when someone swears. Why is that a reason to drop me? Bitter? Yes, you bet I'm bitter. And if you'd ever been close to someone for more than 5 minutes, and had them dump you for a cheap laugh, you'd feel the same.
Yeah, so you probably know I like you by now. Admittedly, I should know better than to trust ANYONE in that place anymore. You know I'm taken, and don't understand why I'm with him if I like you. Well, I've been with him longer than I've KNOWN you for a start. I know it's bad to still like you under these cicumstances. I'm getting over it. I wish you'd give me a chance. I wish I'd give myself a chance sometimes. Have her. You'll find her as hollow as everyone else does. Maybe you just really need to get laid, male, female, whoever you prefer, I don't care, just take out your issues on someone else. If you want to be friends again, you really are going to have to prove it, because at the moment, I know how much you value me as your friend. It isn't much.
Sorry that this kind of turned into a letter at the end. There's a lot of stuff I feel like i should say but just don't have the balls to do it. /rant