Funny Stories

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Re: Funny Stories

Postby psugar » Thu Feb 05, 2009 10:56 pm

This was hilarious. I'm going to a famous place in my city to do a concert with a bigger choir with some others. I was next to a guy and looking at his music since I didn't have mine, we get to a part where it labels sopranos and altos as Virgins. This is the dialogue.

John: Oh, it says virgins.
Me: Yeah, never saw that before, I guess that's what happens when you sing ancient music.
John: No I meant I can't sing it.
Me: *knows he is joking starts laughing
Choir Director: Why are all you guys laughing(all the boys did the same thing)? SHUT UP!*in his english accent*
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Re: Funny Stories

Postby JenTheWriter » Fri Feb 06, 2009 2:56 am

Black wrote:Hmm. I never make a deal when I find a bug on me. I'll just be like "Oh." and flick it off. Bugs don't bother me at all. Not even spiders. In fact, when I was younger I used to save the gnats from my bathroom sink. I would literally pick each one out and lay it on a piece of toilet paper to dry. And when I went swimming in public pools, I would spend all of my time rescuing bugs from the water. I even made a 'worm sanctuary' once. I went around picking up all the half-dead worms from the parking lot and moved them to a bed of grass underneath an apple tree XD. I was a strange little kid. But even today the only buggy things I'll kill are mosquitoes and fleas. I have no patience for either of them.


I never used to have a thing about spiders. Not until I watched the movie arachnaphobia. That's when I learned spiders could jump ... and I was done. lol
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Re: Funny Stories

Postby JenTheWriter » Fri Feb 06, 2009 3:01 am

psugar wrote:This was hilarious. I'm going to a famous place in my city to do a concert with a bigger choir with some others. I was next to a guy and looking at his music since I didn't have mine, we get to a part where it labels sopranos and altos as Virgins. This is the dialogue.

John: Oh, it says virgins.
Me: Yeah, never saw that before, I guess that's what happens when you sing ancient music.
John: No I meant I can't sing it.
Me: *knows he is joking starts laughing
Choir Director: Why are all you guys laughing(all the boys did the same thing)? SHUT UP!*in his english accent*


Okay, I totally flove your siggy pic!
"And if you ever kiss her again, I will break your jaw for her," he promised.
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Re: Funny Stories

Postby Black » Fri Feb 06, 2009 12:18 pm

I was working drive-thru yesterday and a lady came through and said "I want a hamburger plain. Plain. Nothing on it," and the manager working beside me muttered "I was wondering what 'plain' meant." I thought it was so funny because usually this girl is really sweet and polite to everybody no matter what but there she was being totally cocky XD. I was proud ^.^
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Re: Funny Stories

Postby JenTheWriter » Fri Feb 13, 2009 2:43 am

lmbo! OMG I loved those moments when I worked in drive-thru. It's like, "I'm not stupid, I get the concept of what plain is. Whether or not the cooks get that is a different thing entirely." I told this story over in the random thread, but I'll put it here too since this is the funny stories one.

The other night this guy and his teenage daughter came through my line. They finished putting up the groceries on the belt and the daughter came by me to start putting her bags in the cart. So, as she's doing this the dad is cracking jokes and making me laugh. Well, it got quiet and then the followinking conversation took place.

Girl: I think it's going to be $230. What do you think?
Dad: ...
Girl: Well? What do you think?
Dad: *so not serious* I think you're old enough to get a job and pay for this.
Girl: I'm only 13.
Dad: You can find something, somewhere that will pay you under the table.
Girl: But then I'd have to get a car to drive there, and I'd have to get m license and I can't get that until I'm 16...
Dad: *deadpan* Fine. We'll sell your brother.
"And if you ever kiss her again, I will break your jaw for her," he promised.
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Re: Funny Stories

Postby Black » Fri Feb 13, 2009 11:55 pm

Brother for Sale. Only 50 cents...
10 bucks to whoever gets that reference. ;)

I was thinking of a funny story earlier that happened while I was in Tennessee.

My aunt and I were shopping at WalMart and she decided that she was going to slip some Astroglide and some doggy outfits into her jacket pocket. She prides herself on being sneaky when it comes to taking things and was always giving me tips on how to do it right.

We were getting ready to leave when a guy in a baseball cap walks up to us and whispers "I saw you on my camera and I'm going to need my merchandise back," in my aunt's ear. I actually thought he was one of the many beggars asking for money until he led us into the security room.

As soon as I realized what was happening it took everything I had to keep from busting out into a fit of hysterical laughter because I was always wondering if the day would come when she would get caught.

They took her name and address and asked her to lay out what she had taken. By that point I was shaking and keeping quiet was becoming quite painful. I tried to relax (for my heart's sake) by focusing on the security tapes but that wasn't possible when I knew that my aunt was getting her picture taken right behind me.

They finally let us go but not before they banned her from every WalMart and every Sam's Club in the country. She said her only regret about the situation was losing face in front of me. She said that all she could think was "Sarah's not gonna think I'm sneaky anymore" which of course had me in another fit of giggles. That and the fact that she still had the lube XD.

We went to the WalMart in Georgia a couple weeks later and she wore sunglasses and a hat claiming that she was going 'incognito'. That made me laugh too. 8-)
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Re: Funny Stories

Postby *Wanderer* » Sat Feb 14, 2009 1:37 am

Black wrote:Brother for Sale. Only 50 cents...
10 bucks to whoever gets that reference. ;)

Haha, Mary Kate and Ashley right?


So today I have a story, but really it's not a very funny one. Just kind of.... ironic. So, in honor of Friday the 13th, something un-lucky happened at school today. You see, my science teacher has this 'Galileo Thermometer' in her classroom. It's basically this glass cylinder with all this liquid inside it. Today, someone accidentally knocked it over. And it totally broke all the glass and spilled all the chemicals in it. :lol: Bad luck much?

So yeah, like I said before, it's not a very funny story.

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Re: Funny Stories

Postby JenTheWriter » Sat Feb 14, 2009 3:57 am

lol she wasn't worried she'd be 86'ed from WM and SC, but that she lost face in front of you? That is really rather funny. That and the fact she still had astroglide!
"And if you ever kiss her again, I will break your jaw for her," he promised.
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Re: Funny Stories

Postby Black » Sat Feb 14, 2009 11:54 am

Black - says (4:21 PM): Do you have Cheetos in England?
Tallulah - says (4:21 PM): Yeah, if you're on about the cereal.
Black - says (4:21 PM): Huh? No. The chips lol
Tallulah - says (4:21 PM): Wait, no. That's Cheerios.

- LOL BRITISH PEOPLE -
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Re: Funny Stories

Postby sarah-belle » Sun Feb 15, 2009 1:12 am

So me and the rest of my track team were sitting in the parking lot, stretching after practice this morning, and this car pulls up. This lady gets out and she's wearing this super low-cut v-neck shirt with her boobs hanging out, rolled up jeans, and 5 inch red stilletos, and she had really bad, overly dyed and processed hair. She's like, "Excuse me, do you know where 7-On-7 (this, like, peewee football league) is playing?" We all pretty much just sit there and stare at her in awe. She TOTALLY did NOT look like she was about to go to a football game. So then my coach tries to give her directions to where they might be playing. It took FOREVER because she wasn't the brightest person. And she's like, "Okay, thanks. Are y'all cheerleaders?" We're like, "....Uh, no....we're runners." and she goes, "Oh. Well, this is what cheerleaders turn into! So y'all just keep running and stay nice and toned!" So she gets in her car and leaves. And we all burst into laughter. My coach was like, "I thought she was going to get out of the car and start yelling, 'I'm gonna kill my ex-husband!' or something like that." It was the most random thing EVER.
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