Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

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Jasper<3
Gone Fishing with Harry
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Location: Australia, looking for my Joker! <3

Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by Jasper<3 »

jamielikewhoa wrote:Edward: Jessica, all this time I was just using Bella as a way to get to you. Now come to me, my love, and you can feed me while I rest my head in your glorious lap.
Jessica: *swoon*

Bella: I have a confession to make, Jacob.
Jacob: What is it?
Bella: You know what, I decided that this whole Vampire thing is overrated. I'm really into werewolves instead.
Jacob: Really?
Bella: Yes. That's why I've decided I'm in love with Embry!

Edward: Yo Bells, I think its time you did something for me? Ya know? I'm always scooping you up from ya crib and takin' you out, so don't ya think I deserve something in return?
Bella:...um...i guess?
Edward: Iight then. Hook me up wit yo fly friend Angela yo.
Bella:...what about Ben?
Edward: Yo, shorty, did I ask you about Ben?
Bella: Well I suppose you didn't.
lol those are all funny!

These are Volturi themed!
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Caius: SCORE! I TOTALLY JUST GOT 3 FRONT ROW SEATS TO THE JONAS BROTHERS!!!!!
Felix: OOOH!!! I wanna come!!
Jane: They are delicious! in two ways! *grins evilly*
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Aro: Jane, you are a disgusting pig! I dont know why we let you join!
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Caius: You look tasty! *Mike cowers in corner*
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Aro: You are my sunshine! My only sunshine! You make me happy when skies are gray!
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Marcus: I'm just so happy lately!
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Jacob: That Aro is one hunk of a vampire!
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I took this one from the old Lex but I thought it was funny so im re-posting it. I did not make it. Kudos to who did.
Jasper: I am joining the Volturi.
Everyone: WHAT?
Jasper: What? They have Jackets!
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This is from the youtube series, Retarded Policeman, and I thought it was funny. I am not trying to be mean to special people out there.
Alec: He is a cop and he's learning impaired! He's the retarded policeman! *walks up to Marcus* I'm the retarded policeman, and your mom's a smokin' hottie! *dances strangely* BYEEEEEEEEEE!!!
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This one isn't Volturi-ish, but I thought it was still funny.
Jacob: (To Rosalie): Im hot! You're cold! You go around like you know.......
List, Gnat ♥
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chach
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by chach »

Jacob- I'm bringing sexy back.
Rosalie- ya you are
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aro- come to the dark side alice. we have cookies!
alice- uhh i don't like raisons
aro- sorry im not an edward
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edward- bella i'm sorry but i was going out with you b/c every1 says we look good together
bella- good cuz me and jasper were having an affair HE'S SO HUNKY
edward- can't argue with that
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chach
Teaching Eric Social Graces
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by chach »

bella- i feel etremely angry at the world im going to go take if out on small children
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edward x lover
Fishing with Charlie
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by edward x lover »

Edward calls to Bella: "Bella do you know where I left Kristen Stewarts number?"
~Lee~
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Team Ian because human guys can be perfect.
Team Edward-Bringing Sexy Back Since 1901
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Jasper<3
Gone Fishing with Harry
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Location: Australia, looking for my Joker! <3

Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by Jasper<3 »

chach wrote:bella- i feel etremely angry at the world im going to go take if out on small children
lol you are so strange! but thats why i love you!

ok... this is 2 days worth of posts... i couldn't go on TL yesterday
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Werewolf themed!!
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Quil: Your great great great grandpa's so dumb he turned us into giant wolves!
Embry: Your great great great grandpa's so ugly nobody noticed the difference between his wolf and human forms!
Seth: Um, don't we all have the same great great great grandpa?
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Alice: Leah, do you wanna go shopping?
Leah: Sure! We can even take some of those photo booth pictures!
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Ephiram: (Watching wolves fight from afterlife): This is better than cable!
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Bella: Jake, you need to invent wolf-pants. You may not be human but it's still a little akward...
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(When Quil is dressed up at Claire's birthday party)
Paul: Hel-lo beautiful. How have we never met before? Is it hot in here or is it just you?


Now it is Charlie/Billy themed
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Bella: Edward, you have to admit, Charlie honestly considered shooting you when you told him we're getting married.
Edward: Well, Bella. Your father has been trying to keep this from you, but I think you deserve to know. Bella, Charlie's sort of been crushing on Carlisle for a while now, and he's disappointed they're going to be brothers.
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Charlie: Damn! I got the nerd again!
Billy: Yes! I found my mystery date! I win!!
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Charlie: Bella, I think you should avoid that Jacob boy.
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(When Jacob is trespassing at Forks High)
Charlie: Jacob, you're under arrest.
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Billy: I only go fishing because Jake's never around anymore. I actually hate fish.
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Jassica: (thinking during school): That kid Jacob Black's father Billy sure is one hunk of wheelchair bound old man!
*Edward gags in the background*
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Charlie: (singing): Just put one foot in front of the other...
Billy: Is that some kind of sick joke?
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Charlie: Billy, why does Jacob morph into a giant wolf?
Billy: Well, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much...
List, Gnat ♥
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Megsimadic
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by Megsimadic »

Lauren: Bella, dont you get it? All this time it was you! You I loved! Please Bella, be with me instead!
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Rosalie: Oh I hate myself...dont look at me!
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Alice: Thats it! Im burning all my clothes!
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Bella: I dont understand how to be a vampire!
Jasper: And how does that make you feel?
Bella: er...
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Jacob: Can I borrow a jumper, im freezing!
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Emmett: Guys, all this time ive been living a lie! You're all right, Bella is the strongest! I'll never beat her, never!
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Edward: Look Bella, this has been fun but I cant look after a kid for eternity, even when she reaches my age, i'll forever have to be the father, always worrying, and protecting her. I mean come on! Where is the fun in that?

Bella: Think of the bright side hun. Once she gets old enough Jacob can have her and we can go back to being the kinky couple we were

Edward: Yeah thats true
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And just for my own personal giggles
Renesmee: Mam, can you please rename me Albus Severus please...anything than this!
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Team Jasper:He is my happy hormone
Team Alice: Because Im short and annoying too!
Jasper<3
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by Jasper<3 »

Megsimadic wrote:Lauren: Bella, dont you get it? All this time it was you! You I loved! Please Bella, be with me instead!
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Rosalie: Oh I hate myself...dont look at me!
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Alice: Thats it! Im burning all my clothes!
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Bella: I dont understand how to be a vampire!
Jasper: And how does that make you feel?
Bella: er...
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Jacob: Can I borrow a jumper, im freezing!
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Emmett: Guys, all this time ive been living a lie! You're all right, Bella is the strongest! I'll never beat her, never!
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Edward: Look Bella, this has been fun but I cant look after a kid for eternity, even when she reaches my age, i'll forever have to be the father, always worrying, and protecting her. I mean come on! Where is the fun in that?

Bella: Think of the bright side hun. Once she gets old enough Jacob can have her and we can go back to being the kinky couple we were

Edward: Yeah thats true
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And just for my own personal giggles
Renesmee: Mam, can you please rename me Albus Severus please...anything than this!

Yay! those were all hilarious! Megsimadic, you are now my second new Lex best friend! I looove the last one! I haven't read those Harry Potter books since i found Twilight.
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Rosanesmee
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by Rosanesmee »

Megsimadic wrote:Lauren: Bella, dont you get it? All this time it was you! You I loved! Please Bella, be with me instead!
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Rosalie: Oh I hate myself...dont look at me!
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Alice: Thats it! Im burning all my clothes!
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Bella: I dont understand how to be a vampire!
Jasper: And how does that make you feel?
Bella: er...
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Jacob: Can I borrow a jumper, im freezing!
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Emmett: Guys, all this time ive been living a lie! You're all right, Bella is the strongest! I'll never beat her, never!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Edward: Look Bella, this has been fun but I cant look after a kid for eternity, even when she reaches my age, i'll forever have to be the father, always worrying, and protecting her. I mean come on! Where is the fun in that?

Bella: Think of the bright side hun. Once she gets old enough Jacob can have her and we can go back to being the kinky couple we were

Edward: Yeah thats true
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And just for my own personal giggles
Renesmee: Mam, can you please rename me Albus Severus please...anything than this!
haha! I laughed so hard at the last one!

Hmm, can't think right now. This may end up a little odd!

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Seth: I hate you all!
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Bella: Look Edward, I'm really sorry but I don't love you. I was just with you because you were the hottest guy in school and I was just using you to get to Eric.
Edward: Oh, that's okay I was just using you to get to Jessica.
Bella: Oh, well that's settled then!
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Bella: I am in so much pain!! Somebody help me!!
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Rosalie: I have something to tell you all
*everyone gathers around*
Rosalie: I was the fat, ugly kid in school!
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Leah: I wish I was a vampire...
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Edward: *singing* I just can't get you out of my head!
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Charlie: I wonder how fast Billy's wheelchair would go if I pushed it down a hill.
Billy: What?
Charlie: Nothing!
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Billy: Wanna watch the basketball?
Charlie: UGH! I hate sport!
Billy: Well do you want to go fishing?
Charlie: Eww! Fishing's even worse!
Once you go Black, you never go back! <3 Jacob
ashleygill03
Helping Mike to Get a Clue
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by ashleygill03 »

Edward, you're a great guy and all, but I wouldn't mind changing up with Rose and Emmett on occasion.
::Bella
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edsbestfriend
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by edsbestfriend »

Edward: Bella, its Jacob
Bella: What whats happened...
Edward: Calm down Bella Jake's imprinted
Bella Wow, on who
Edward: Well thats the problem Bella
Bella: Come on Edward tell me
Edward:Well Jakes imprinted...on....well...hes imprinted on me!
Bella: What?
Edward: Sorry Bella my future's with Jacob now...
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