Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Postby Jasper<3 » Wed Sep 03, 2008 4:53 pm

jamielikewhoa wrote:Edward: Jessica, all this time I was just using Bella as a way to get to you. Now come to me, my love, and you can feed me while I rest my head in your glorious lap.
Jessica: *swoon*

Bella: I have a confession to make, Jacob.
Jacob: What is it?
Bella: You know what, I decided that this whole Vampire thing is overrated. I'm really into werewolves instead.
Jacob: Really?
Bella: Yes. That's why I've decided I'm in love with Embry!

Edward: Yo Bells, I think its time you did something for me? Ya know? I'm always scooping you up from ya crib and takin' you out, so don't ya think I deserve something in return?
Bella:...um...i guess?
Edward: Iight then. Hook me up wit yo fly friend Angela yo.
Bella:...what about Ben?
Edward: Yo, shorty, did I ask you about Ben?
Bella: Well I suppose you didn't.


lol those are all funny!

These are Volturi themed!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Caius: SCORE! I TOTALLY JUST GOT 3 FRONT ROW SEATS TO THE JONAS BROTHERS!!!!!
Felix: OOOH!!! I wanna come!!
Jane: They are delicious! in two ways! *grins evilly*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aro: Jane, you are a disgusting pig! I dont know why we let you join!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Caius: You look tasty! *Mike cowers in corner*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aro: You are my sunshine! My only sunshine! You make me happy when skies are gray!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marcus: I'm just so happy lately!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jacob: That Aro is one hunk of a vampire!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I took this one from the old Lex but I thought it was funny so im re-posting it. I did not make it. Kudos to who did.
Jasper: I am joining the Volturi.
Everyone: WHAT?
Jasper: What? They have Jackets!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is from the youtube series, Retarded Policeman, and I thought it was funny. I am not trying to be mean to special people out there.
Alec: He is a cop and he's learning impaired! He's the retarded policeman! *walks up to Marcus* I'm the retarded policeman, and your mom's a smokin' hottie! *dances strangely* BYEEEEEEEEEE!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This one isn't Volturi-ish, but I thought it was still funny.
Jacob: (To Rosalie): Im hot! You're cold! You go around like you know.......
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Postby chach » Thu Sep 04, 2008 6:50 pm

Jacob- I'm bringing sexy back.
Rosalie- ya you are
------------------------------
aro- come to the dark side alice. we have cookies!
alice- uhh i don't like raisons
aro- sorry im not an edward
--------------------------------
edward- bella i'm sorry but i was going out with you b/c every1 says we look good together
bella- good cuz me and jasper were having an affair HE'S SO HUNKY
edward- can't argue with that
---------------------------------------
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Postby chach » Thu Sep 04, 2008 8:41 pm

bella- i feel etremely angry at the world im going to go take if out on small children
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Postby edward x lover » Thu Sep 04, 2008 9:16 pm

Edward calls to Bella: "Bella do you know where I left Kristen Stewarts number?"
~Lee~
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Postby Jasper<3 » Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:45 pm

chach wrote:bella- i feel etremely angry at the world im going to go take if out on small children


lol you are so strange! but thats why i love you!

ok... this is 2 days worth of posts... i couldn't go on TL yesterday
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Werewolf themed!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quil: Your great great great grandpa's so dumb he turned us into giant wolves!
Embry: Your great great great grandpa's so ugly nobody noticed the difference between his wolf and human forms!
Seth: Um, don't we all have the same great great great grandpa?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alice: Leah, do you wanna go shopping?
Leah: Sure! We can even take some of those photo booth pictures!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ephiram: (Watching wolves fight from afterlife): This is better than cable!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bella: Jake, you need to invent wolf-pants. You may not be human but it's still a little akward...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(When Quil is dressed up at Claire's birthday party)
Paul: Hel-lo beautiful. How have we never met before? Is it hot in here or is it just you?


Now it is Charlie/Billy themed
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bella: Edward, you have to admit, Charlie honestly considered shooting you when you told him we're getting married.
Edward: Well, Bella. Your father has been trying to keep this from you, but I think you deserve to know. Bella, Charlie's sort of been crushing on Carlisle for a while now, and he's disappointed they're going to be brothers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Charlie: Damn! I got the nerd again!
Billy: Yes! I found my mystery date! I win!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Charlie: Bella, I think you should avoid that Jacob boy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(When Jacob is trespassing at Forks High)
Charlie: Jacob, you're under arrest.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Billy: I only go fishing because Jake's never around anymore. I actually hate fish.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jassica: (thinking during school): That kid Jacob Black's father Billy sure is one hunk of wheelchair bound old man!
*Edward gags in the background*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Charlie: (singing): Just put one foot in front of the other...
Billy: Is that some kind of sick joke?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Charlie: Billy, why does Jacob morph into a giant wolf?
Billy: Well, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much...
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Postby Megsimadic » Fri Sep 05, 2008 6:49 pm

Lauren: Bella, dont you get it? All this time it was you! You I loved! Please Bella, be with me instead!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rosalie: Oh I hate myself...dont look at me!
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Alice: Thats it! Im burning all my clothes!
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Bella: I dont understand how to be a vampire!
Jasper: And how does that make you feel?
Bella: er...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jacob: Can I borrow a jumper, im freezing!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Emmett: Guys, all this time ive been living a lie! You're all right, Bella is the strongest! I'll never beat her, never!
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Edward: Look Bella, this has been fun but I cant look after a kid for eternity, even when she reaches my age, i'll forever have to be the father, always worrying, and protecting her. I mean come on! Where is the fun in that?

Bella: Think of the bright side hun. Once she gets old enough Jacob can have her and we can go back to being the kinky couple we were

Edward: Yeah thats true
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And just for my own personal giggles
Renesmee: Mam, can you please rename me Albus Severus please...anything than this!
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Postby Jasper<3 » Fri Sep 05, 2008 9:50 pm

Megsimadic wrote:Lauren: Bella, dont you get it? All this time it was you! You I loved! Please Bella, be with me instead!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rosalie: Oh I hate myself...dont look at me!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alice: Thats it! Im burning all my clothes!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bella: I dont understand how to be a vampire!
Jasper: And how does that make you feel?
Bella: er...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jacob: Can I borrow a jumper, im freezing!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Emmett: Guys, all this time ive been living a lie! You're all right, Bella is the strongest! I'll never beat her, never!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Edward: Look Bella, this has been fun but I cant look after a kid for eternity, even when she reaches my age, i'll forever have to be the father, always worrying, and protecting her. I mean come on! Where is the fun in that?

Bella: Think of the bright side hun. Once she gets old enough Jacob can have her and we can go back to being the kinky couple we were

Edward: Yeah thats true
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And just for my own personal giggles
Renesmee: Mam, can you please rename me Albus Severus please...anything than this!



Yay! those were all hilarious! Megsimadic, you are now my second new Lex best friend! I looove the last one! I haven't read those Harry Potter books since i found Twilight.
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Postby Rosanesmee » Fri Sep 05, 2008 11:55 pm

Megsimadic wrote:Lauren: Bella, dont you get it? All this time it was you! You I loved! Please Bella, be with me instead!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rosalie: Oh I hate myself...dont look at me!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alice: Thats it! Im burning all my clothes!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bella: I dont understand how to be a vampire!
Jasper: And how does that make you feel?
Bella: er...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jacob: Can I borrow a jumper, im freezing!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Emmett: Guys, all this time ive been living a lie! You're all right, Bella is the strongest! I'll never beat her, never!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Edward: Look Bella, this has been fun but I cant look after a kid for eternity, even when she reaches my age, i'll forever have to be the father, always worrying, and protecting her. I mean come on! Where is the fun in that?

Bella: Think of the bright side hun. Once she gets old enough Jacob can have her and we can go back to being the kinky couple we were

Edward: Yeah thats true
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And just for my own personal giggles
Renesmee: Mam, can you please rename me Albus Severus please...anything than this!


haha! I laughed so hard at the last one!

Hmm, can't think right now. This may end up a little odd!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Seth: I hate you all!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bella: Look Edward, I'm really sorry but I don't love you. I was just with you because you were the hottest guy in school and I was just using you to get to Eric.
Edward: Oh, that's okay I was just using you to get to Jessica.
Bella: Oh, well that's settled then!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bella: I am in so much pain!! Somebody help me!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rosalie: I have something to tell you all
*everyone gathers around*
Rosalie: I was the fat, ugly kid in school!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leah: I wish I was a vampire...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Edward: *singing* I just can't get you out of my head!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Charlie: I wonder how fast Billy's wheelchair would go if I pushed it down a hill.
Billy: What?
Charlie: Nothing!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Billy: Wanna watch the basketball?
Charlie: UGH! I hate sport!
Billy: Well do you want to go fishing?
Charlie: Eww! Fishing's even worse!
Once you go Black, you never go back! <3 Jacob
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Postby ashleygill03 » Sat Sep 06, 2008 3:02 am

Edward, you're a great guy and all, but I wouldn't mind changing up with Rose and Emmett on occasion.
::Bella
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Postby edsbestfriend » Sat Sep 06, 2008 6:20 am

Edward: Bella, its Jacob
Bella: What whats happened...
Edward: Calm down Bella Jake's imprinted
Bella Wow, on who
Edward: Well thats the problem Bella
Bella: Come on Edward tell me
Edward:Well Jakes imprinted...on....well...hes imprinted on me!
Bella: What?
Edward: Sorry Bella my future's with Jacob now...
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