I'm so sorry to hear about all the heartbreak everyone has been through. I'm glad you have all been able to somewhat recover from it. I'm also glad that everyone seems to be surviving Ike and doing well.
skylarblue wrote:Why as women we put ourselves out there for one guy and deep down we know he's nothing but trouble and will bring nothing but heartache but we constantly go back?
Are we total masochist (sp?).
I never really went through heartache like the rest of you. My story relates more to this question. Before my husband, I was with a guy for 8 years. We started dating when I was 15, moved in together when I was 20, broke up when I was 23. For the first year, maybe two, everything was wonderful. But then things slowly started to deteriorate. As time passed, he had dropped the facade he had used to lure me in. I thought that he was still the person I'd fallen in love with and I was desperately trying to bring that side of him out again. I didn't realize that it hadn't been him at all. We fought a lot. We screamed, he called me names and said very hurtful things, I cried, he ignored me or locked himself in his room so we couldn't talk things out. Most of our fights were based on the same thing. I felt like he neglected me. I'm co-dependent, I admit it. In the beginning, he had spent nearly all of his free time with me. Later, I barely even saw him. Even when we were living together, I would come home from work to find him on his computer playing a game and he would stay there until long after I went to bed. I'm a gamer too so I understand the pull of a game but this was excessive. He became obsessed. He didn't seem to see me or hear me anymore. He got laid off and didn't look for work. He just kept on playing that stupid game.
But whenever I would get fed up and start pulling away from him or mention something about breaking up, the guy I fell in love with would suddenly reappear. I fell for it every time. He'd be loving and sweet and everything I wanted for a few months. Then, when I wasn't paying attention, he'd start to sink back into the person I was gradually learning to hate.
It took me 8 years and a ton of friends telling me that he was abusing me (mentally) and destroying my self-esteem before I finally got away from him. So I think that's why we go back. They know how to turn on the charm at just the right moment and they know how to ruin our own self-image so that we think we can't do any better.