Jenni??? Nope, don't remember you?? Kidding
Of course of I remember you. I used to talk to you with the other people who I forgot their names (but know who they are) at 5:00 am in the morning
on that chat thingmabob ^_^
Yeah, I occasionally revive it (bump).
I had the biggest guy problem from the end of January to the end of June! Prepare yourselves; this is a long story (but i'll try make it short).
I met this guy at the bus stop. And normally I'm always the first person at the bus stop, so that I can get a seat, but this kid beat me here, so I was interested in him straight away (and he was good looking too). I asked him his name and his name was Daniel. I then asked him what grade he was in, and he said Year 9 (He was a new student this year). I'm a year above him (so I'm in year 10).He seriously looks like he should be in year 6. He's so small and cute!!!!!!!!! AniiwaiiZz, I found out that he was one of my friends older cousin. And my friend is in the same year as me obviously. So, I was like, hang on? How can he be older than you, if you're in a higher grade? Apparently he had been held back times for wagging. He practically skipped school every day! So I asked him when his birthday was, and I opened my mouth wide open! He was older than me, and although I'm in year 10, I'm supposed to be in year 11. And here is this kid, who is in year 9, supposed to be in year 11, and be older than me, who wasn't even up to my shoulders and should be in year 6 for his height!!!!!
So that made me interested in him more. I started asking him questions along the way, like what's his favourite band, colour, song, singer, sport, etc. He plays soccer, but he wants to play Rugby Union I think it is? He was in battle of the bands, when he lived in NSW, and when he's older he wishes to become a professional skate boarder and make a lot of money, so that he can help the poor in the third world countries! So he is very kind too!!!!!
He is also fast, and has a sexy body! He wanted to race me, because he heard about how fast I was, and so I accepted. We were at the train station, and we agreed to run from one side and back. And so I started to take out my phone, my hat, my shoes, and then I took off my belt. And he was like, ok then: and he started taking off his shoes and then he took of his shirt! He was like a god! He has the best body I've ever seen!!!!!!!!! *melts*
I won in the end, and then I really wanted him. I wanted to tell him, but I also didn't want to break the relationship I had with him, but he was the only guy I talk to. I live in a house full of girls and only know how to interact with them and not with guys, so I feel nervous when I'm around them, but when I'm with Daniel, he's so easy and light to understand and talk to. And he doesn't like my weird conversations that I talk about.
I was on the verge to tell him, but I was too scared. So I told his cousin that there is someone I liked. She said who, and I said the person is in year 9, they are small and have brown hair and is fast. They have an "i" in their name and catches our bus. Later on, I discovered that he was going back to Sydney, for two weeks for the school holidays and he said that he doesn't know if he will return! before the holidays I was going to tell him on the last day, but I was too scared, so I ran away and caught the train. I was so regretting it when I caught it. So over the past two weeks of the holidays, I was so scared and cried for two days straight hoping he would come back. I wrote "Please come back Daniel" thousands of times on notes/letters and folded them up in a fancy way.
When the holidays were over, my friend didn't forget that I was about to tell her and her cousin, Daniel, that I love him. So I told her to come with me, and when we were alone I pulled out all the notes/letters, and she was like "Oh my gosh" and I was about to give them to her, but I didn't know if she would still be my friend if she knew that I was gay (homo, Vulgar Language Is Ugly, poof, queer, whatever you wanna' call me), so in the end I put them all back in my bag. When I first saw Daniel come back from his holidays I was jumping up and down in my body, so glad that he was back. I wanted to kiss him and hold him and protect him!
Then he said "I'm going back to Sydney forever, in two more weeks." For that whole day, I didn't speak to anyone, because all I wanted to do was cry. Which I did when I got home. So the next day I was all happy and talkative, because I wanted to make those next two weeks last and have the courage to tell him my feelings towards him.
Finally, the last day of his came and it was Sports Festival (carnival, whatever). I brought my video camera so that I can record him, which I did. I got little scenes of him, because if someone else wanted to watch what I taped, they'd asked why is the whole day taped on this boy (Daniel). So I just taped him when he got injured, when he was sitting down, when we were on the bus ages ago!!!!!!!!!!!!! and when he was running the 200m! The day was nearly over and I needed to tell him. So I went up to my trustworthy friend, and asked her to help me tell him. My friend (she's a girl of course) already knew my secret some time ago, because I knew I could trust her and because she and I had many things in common. We both wanted to kill ourselves, we both tried it too, we both write poems, we both love to read, we both love Twilight and Harry Potter, we both like the same colours, we both stay in our rooms all day, we're both in the same classes (Well, last year we only had 1 class that we didn't have, so we were both in all the same classes
) We both played the clarinet, and we both had problems and we both had depression and all! So I felt that she would keep my secret secret ^_^
So as I was saying, I told her to give my letters/notes to Daniel, who was sitting down by himself, and say that this is from someone. When I watched her give them to Daniel, I was so scared. I was on the verge of running to the bridge and jumping off!!!!! I was shoot scared! Before the day ended, my friend, Daniel's cousin, came up to me and asked me if I wrote them. I quickly swallowed before she could see and I tried to act innocent (When I'm older, I want to be an actor, so I tried to put on my best acting skills as possible). I was like, what are they? And she just gave me some looks that said "Don't be dumb" I would have said yes if all her friends weren't around!!! But I couldn't. So I said, can I open one. And as I did, I cracked up laughing. And I was like, these aren't mine. And she goes, are you sure, because you're the only person that writes like this in our school, and because it's in led too! And all the clues that you told me, match up to my cousin. I was shoot scared then. Then her friend and mine (Jessica) goes, Yeah that is his, because yesterday I was siting next to him in English, and I recognized his writing! So obviously I was caught out and looking like a fool, but I still pretended to act innocent.
The day finally ended, and I had to catch the bus with Imogen (my friend and Daniel's cousin) and Daniel himself. When I went to the bus stop, I was the last one there, because I didn't want to wait for the bus with Daniel there, because I was scared and I knew Imogen must have told him that I wrote them, because he didn't say anything to me, like he usually did. So when the bus arrived, it was a very silent bus ride. He turned around and said to me, DO YOU KNOW WHO WROTE THOSE NOTES? And I said, those notes your cousin gave me? And he said yes. So I said, nah, but if I did, I would have told you by now. And then he faced the front again. I was shoot myself people!!!!!
When we go off the bus, he and his cousin went straight, without hanging out with me at the train station like always. I could tell that he didn't want to be my friend anymore, because he knew I was gay and that I liked him and because Imogen quickly went up to him and started whispering in his ear.
That day, I cried, I cried, I cried and I cried some more until I fell asleep! June the 30th, 2009! That's when my heart ripped apart! The day he also left. The day I also wanted to kill myself. The day I regret the most. The day that is forbidden to remember, but terrified to forget! (Quote in New Moon). Then it suddenly clicked in my head, I remembered showing those notes to Imogen just after the holidays and before my other friend gave it to him (Daniel). So I was cussing myself all weekend, trying to figure out what I'm gonna' say on Monday, when she tells everyone, but she didn't. And ever since then, she barely talks to me now.
So that was my guy problem! And I still love Daniel to this day. If I had one wish, it would be to start my life over again, so that I had another chance with Daniel, and so that I could spend my whole life growing up with him. At school I just wanted to sit with him. Talk wit him. Walk with him. I just wanted to be with him! And if anything were to happen to him, I'd die protecting him, because I love him. So, my goal when I'm older is to find him and say how I truly feel to his face!
Sorry for making you read through that if anyone one dared too!!!! You must have a lot of patience if you did!!! I really do appreciate it if you did read through all of that!!! Much appreciated!!!!
-Miista ^_^
roo-roo91 wrote:I don't think BOYS are confusing..
But MEN are a different story..
-__-
I totally agree with you on that one!!!!!
My idea. We could pick anything in history to research.) So we went through our presentation and then a requirement of the project was to have some sort of acting in it. So we acted out a scene in which the damsal in distress (me) would be killed by a vampire (River). It went perfectly but when he was suppose to pretend to bite down on my neck he actually bit me. Of course stupid me told him he needed to keep his head at my neck for a moment to make it look like he really was draining my blood and he ended up giving me a hickey!
) sits down next to me and scoots the chair closer to mine. so we start talking and then he is just looking at me and smileing so im just feeling all dumb for not saying anything back and then he leaves and repeats this about 4 times! and on the fourth time its just me and him without our friends and he starts dancing which makes me laugh and then "edward" says "dont worry, i'll get you on a slow song" i just smile and say okay. 
they never played a slow song. so we didnt dance. as we were leaving he gave me a hug saying he would miss me during the summer, and we left. then he texted me that he was srry for not dancing with me and that the next dance it would be just me and him. then the next day he texted me and after i replied he never replied back. he has done this not-repling-back thing all the times that we have texted. is he playing hard to get, or is he not into me? im confused. 
