Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Postby DudeRocksTheTwilight » Fri Jun 05, 2009 6:33 pm

bodysnatcher wrote:Edward: Bella love, will you...
Bella: THAT'S IT! ALL OF YOU IN THIS BOOK ARE A BUNCH OF SEXIST PIGS!!! I AM NOT YOUR MAID! I AM NOT YOUR HOUSEKEEPER! I AM NOT YOUR COOK! AND I AM NOT YOUR PROPERTY!! SO WHAT IF I LIKE TO SEE JACOB ON THE WEEKENDS? HMMM? IF YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN JUST SET UP ALL OF THESE OPPRESSIVE RULES TO UNDERMINE MY FEMININITY AND TREAT ME AS YOUR SUBORDINATE YOU ARE MISTAKEN! HELLO EDWARD!!!! WE ARE NO LONGER IN THE VICTORIAN ERA! JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE MONEY, SUPERPOWERS, AND A STONE COLD **CK DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME! THAT'S IT! I WILL NO LONGER CATER TO ANYONE!! STOP FORCING ME TO MARRY YOU!!! AND STOP GIVING ME THOSE EERY GLANCES AT MY WOMB!! OH! AND CHARLIE! COOK YOUR OWN DINNER!!!!
Everyone: :shock:
Edward: ...pass the remote... *sigh* :roll: is it the third week of the month already?


Hahaha!
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Postby saphhie » Sat Jun 06, 2009 11:08 pm

wow all are so funnyyyy.....
can't even read these when someone else is in the room they keep lookin at me so weird...

*in Bella's room after they wake up one morning adn edward is in the rocking chair*

Edward:Hello sleepy head. What can I get you this morning.
Bella: Well for starters you can get the hell out of my room.
I mean why do you want to watch me sleep
Edward: Well i love you and i thought you wanted me to stay with you. Don't
you want that?
Bella: No i don't because then how can Jasper sneak in?
Edward: What you love ... Jasper? I mean i know he keeps clouding hism ind around me and stuff but...
but... you loving him...
Bella: Yeah so can you get out now. He's coming over and I think i want to be presentable and stuff.
Our fling was nice while it lasted but you just aren't for me... Okay so Yeah bye
Edward: What? Why? I love you Have always loved you and will alwys love oyu...
Bella: Yeah i know but jasper's acutally willing to love me forever.
You won't make me immortal so yeah he does so goodbye
Edward: Fine just trying to be nice... I guess i'll never see you again.
I can't even look at you right now after this

*one hundred thirty years later Bella and JAsper are together*
Bella: htis is all your fault. YOu should hve never changed me i am so bored!!!
Jasper: you begged me and i thought you loved me
Bella: No you were just going to give me what i wanted and know i bored
Fix it!!!
Edward: HA HA Bella its your own fault. Ad ha ha jasper for having to put up with her now.
At least Alice doesnt care she doesnt miss being human...
Jasper and Bella: Let's ge edward RAWR!!!
    not a team just your average CULLEN FAN!!!
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Postby DudeRocksTheTwilight » Thu Jun 11, 2009 8:16 pm

Edward: Hey Bella.
Bella: *smack* I hate you.
*Makes out with Jacob, making odd noises*
Oh wait...that did happen. =]
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Postby Mrs.Edward_Cullen<3 » Thu Jun 11, 2009 8:57 pm

*The Cullens and Jacob are sightseeing in New York*
Alice: Well there's traffic everywhere. Everything is closed.
Jacob: Oh yea. Look. It's a gay pride parade! Hey Edward! Why don't you go join your fellow outties?
Edward: Yea right you've seen more naked men than me.
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Postby twilightbelle<3 » Thu Jun 11, 2009 9:23 pm

^ LOL!

Jasper and Edward are playing chess.

Edward: I win!
Jasper: *flips table over*
Bella: Jasper, calm down!

GET IT? Oh god. :geek: XD
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Postby DudeRocksTheTwilight » Sat Jun 13, 2009 8:48 am

^LOL.

Edward: Dude, I'm telling you, I'm sick of this vampire crap! Who wants to take my place? I'm auctioning off my wife now.
Jacob: I got a quarter.
Esme: 500000000000000000000000000000000000.00 dollars!
Everyone: :shock:
*Bella and Esme make out and walk off*
Edward: Now my daughter.
Aro: I want this child. Demetri, get her.
Demetri: But I'm busy!
Aro: Fine, get her Marcus.
Marcus: I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life.
Aro: Okay great, Marcus is in the Emo Corner.
Carlisle: I'll give you one dollar!
Edward: With that I can buy the new supplies for the scarf I want to knit!
Jacob: Whatever.
Bella: *in between kissing Esme* Edward, you can't sell our daughter! Me and Esme will take her off our hands.
Edward: Whatever.
*Grabs Jacob, goes into Jacob's room and locks the door. Makes alot of grunting noises.*
Renesmee: I have a dysfunctional family.
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Postby saphhie » Sat Jun 13, 2009 10:42 am

Jacob: You know what bite me Carlisle!
I can't stand being a wolf anymore! The voices are killing me
Carlisle: Yeah bt we don't want you in our family
Jacob: And i don't want to be in oyurs just bite me then i'll leave you
alone forever
Carlisle: Okay come here jake
    not a team just your average CULLEN FAN!!!
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Postby Jasper<3 » Sat Jun 13, 2009 7:41 pm

DudeRocksTheTwilight wrote:Marcus: I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life.


DudeRocksTheTwilight wrote:Aro: Okay great, Marcus is in the Emo Corner.


lol
List, Gnat ♥
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Postby Mrs.Edward_Cullen<3 » Sat Jun 13, 2009 8:31 pm

*Emmett decides to post something on FML(FMyLife)*
Today I wanted to have sex with my wife/girlfriend. But when we did my 4 month old niece walked in on us and told her parents(my brother and his wife) "Uncle Em and Rose told me they were exercising". And that she wanted to try it too. FML
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Postby DudeRocksTheTwilight » Sun Jun 14, 2009 7:25 am

Mrs.Edward_Cullen<3 wrote:*Emmett decides to post something on FML(FMyLife)*
Today I wanted to have sex with my wife/girlfriend. But when we did my 4 month old niece walked in on us and told her parents(my brother and his wife) "Uncle Em and Rose told me they were exercising". And that she wanted to try it too. FML


Wowwww...
HA! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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