Spoilers The Dominant chapter 31
Wow...this chapter was tough to read. Caryn
, I had the exact same thought you did: I loved how tara sue me referred to "the blackest lie" and "the absolute worst blasphemy", and the inherent similarities between Domward's actions and Edward's actions in New Moon
as each of these characters struggled in vain to protect their Bella from themselves. Even Domward's admission of being on "autopilot" reminded me of Edward's behavior the couple of days following the birthday party debacle in New Moon
I do want to give Domward a swift kick in the @$$. But I also wasn't quite as pi$$ed at him after reading his POV, as I was after reading this chapter from Bella's POV. At least we know he is going through hell here and that it's killing him to do this to Bella, not to excuse his ridiculous behavior, of course. This part nearly brought me to tears: Look at her, Cullen. Watch and see what happens when you try to be what you are not. Sear her pain into your very soul and never go another second without remembering.
You are unworthy.
You are a failure.
She’s better off without you. From The Dominant Chapter 31 by tarasueme
Why do you guys think Domward always feels so completely unworthy and is so hard on himself? I know his parents' death at such a young age and the manner in which they died was devastating. At least he had the good fortune to be brought up in a very loving home and was given a great deal of love, comfort, and support from his close-knit family, and I would hope that would have helped him heal to some degree.
Do you think he has major issues with his choice of lifestyle? Or is it because he hasn't really succeeded in a long-term relationship, outside of a Dom/Sub type of relationship? I guess I'm just trying to figure out what other reasons have caused him to build these walls around himself. Maybe we'll gain a little more perspective if we're privy to any of his counseling sessions in the next couple of chapters.
One other question...What do you think would have happened in this chapter if Bella had suddenly professed her love for Domward, out loud? Do you think it would have changed anything? Would things have turned out any differently if she had simply said, "I'm in love with you." Would Domward have allowed himself to believe her? I stil think he was probably too insecure at this point to trust his feelings for Bella, or her feelings for him. I guess he really needed to hit rock bottom before he decided he needed counseling and self-examination and all that stuff. I think he really needed to learn to like himself and trust himself enough to come clean with Bella in order to be the kind of man he wanted to be for her.
Wow, I feel like this is The Dominant/The Submissive
Book Club or something.