Happy Birthday Oleander
BSL I had that book too. I use to call it my Bible. I forgot to add congrats to you and Una.
BAC: loved the articles. I really liked #9 on the list. I always want to feel small and thin. Well actually thin would be good since I'm already small height wise.
Ok the kleenex story.
It was about 5 or 6 years ago when I was working at Home Depot. I think Jared was 13 and Kody was 9, Mariah was 7. This was a brand new HD and we were having our very Christmas party. Now this was the first job where my Christmas party didn't just consist of a bunch of people getting drunk in a bar. They were actually going to feed us. So we, being the insane parents we are, decided to let our oldest babysit while we went out. I mean really, free food.
Thank God we actually got to eat before we received the first of many more phone calls over the years of Jared and Kody screaming at each other over the phone. Usually thats Kody on the cordless running through the house screaming that Jared is trying to kill him while Jared is attached to the wall in the kitchen yelling at Kody to "Come here so I can kill you."
Being resigned parents, we decided to throw the white flag and go home. After arriving I, been the mean one, took charge and started telling (ok I yelled) at them about how this was my first Christmas party and night out in like forever and blah, blah, blah. That's when I noticed the kleenex box (brand new and freshly opened) duc taped to the bedroom door. What in the heck (yeah, I used a different word) is that, I asked and of course the whole room got silent. Then Jared pipes up that they thought it was a great idea. They could just grab a kleenex when they needed one and they wouldn't lose the box. Notice how they like each other when it's time for trouble. I pretty sure it's because some will get even if they break rank.
At that point, I'm just shaking my head and trying to clean up the mess they made. They did tear apart the house too. Finally I got tired of arguing why they should take the box down and I walked over and pulled the box off. Underneath was a hole you could put your hand through. Everyone just stopped. Again. I was so shocked I just looked at them and stupidly asked why? "Well, Jared wouldn't let me in." Kody stated matter of factly. Basically Jared was pestering Kody and was running away from him and locked the bedroom door. Kody then took a bar stool to it. He's telling me now as I write this that he was aiming for the doorknob. It looks easier in the movies and he was too short for his foot to reach that high back then. Thank goodness for small mircles.
At that point I had to give them one. I told them next time someone knocked a hole in a door, wall, etc., a poster would work better and wouldn't bring it to my attention for quite a while. Their logic would confound Spock.
So yeah, not a moment of boredom around here. Kody is the one we figure will grow up to be a comedian or an actor. He just tells it like it is and is pretty quck on the draw. He told the teacher once we were so poor we didn't have two nickles to rub together. I'm pretty sure it was the same year the 2nd grade teacher called us and asked why our son didn't know how to use a telephone. Well, because in preschool they taught them about 911 and he kept dialing it. The dispatch told me if it happened one more time that I was going to be brought up on charges for making false calls. So we had to take the phone away. I would have loved to have more kids but Kody was the one who told me I would have been in the nut house if I had. I think he was in 3rd grade that year.
Did I ever mention that I love Erma Bombeck?