Twilight Skits

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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby WinniePony » Sat Sep 20, 2008 6:37 pm

Omg!!! I am SO SORRY I haven't been on in ages! I've had like an insane amount of homework, it's like ridiculous. I've got all honors classes, and I'm waking up at 6 am every day, and my math teacher thinks I have no life. So I had 5 hours of math homework the other night. FIVE HOURS. I am so not kidding. I hate algebra.

But I love the way you guys wrapped up the SKITS!!! But what happened to Edward and Jane? As far as we know, Eddie's still pushing Jane around in the bunny. So maybe we should just kinda bridge the next skit into it. Like, everyone forgets about Edward and goes home, and then the trio comes. And then Edward and the bunny crash the party. :D But seriously, has anyone seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail? AWESOMEST MOVIE EVER. Next to Twilight, of course... :D But that's where the bunny came from. It's so rad.

So I'll try to continue, I don't know if it'll work. I'll try not to kill anything, but my brain is running off sugar and algebra right now. Never a good combination. Although it just might do the trick for skits...

*In Rosalie and Emmett's bedroom*
Emmett: So do you like them? *hopeful face*
Rosalie: Emmett, I don't really know how to say this...
Emmett: Just spit it out. Do you like them, or do you LOVE them?!
Rosalie: Um Emmett... I can't eat. So I'll never taste them. Sorry. *mutters to herself* Phew. Good excuse Rose.
Emmett: :cry: But... Jazzy said girls LOVE beetle flavored cupcakes.
Rosalie: JASPER said that? :evil:
Emmett: Yep. *proudly* And then he tried to steal them from me, to give to Alice, but I was too fast for him.
Rosalie: Excuse me a moment Emmett... :evil:

*Downstairs*
Bella: *playing with Nessie* Nessie, you're so cute!
Nessie: Thanks momma. :)
Jake: I think you're cute too.
Nessie: Thanks Jakey! :D
Bella: *glares at Jake*
Jake: *smirks at Bella*
*Rosalie comes running downstairs*
Rosalie: JASPER WHITLOCK HALE CULLEN!
Jasper: Yes?
Rosalie: I WILL KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Suddenly, the electricity goes out. Everything is pitch black, despite the fact that it is the middle of the day. And even though vampires can see in the dark, nobody seems to be able to figure that out.*
Voice 1: Omg! The lights are out!
Voice 2: Momma, I'm scared.
Voice 3: Don't worry, sexy Jakey's got you.
Voice 2: What?
Voice 3: Nothing honey.
Voice 4: *earsplitting scream*
*Suddenly, the electricity flickers back on. A quick head count reveals that Jasper is missing. DUN DUN DUN DUN*
Alice: Where's Jasper?
Bella: I don't know.
Alice: Rose, where'd you put him!?
Rosalie: I didn't take him!
Alice: *impatiently* Of course you did. You said you were going to "keeeeeeeeel" him, which doesn't really make sense, because you can't keel haul someone if you're not on a boat, but I'm assuming you meant "kill", in which case YOU TOOK MY YOUNG JASPER.
Rosalie: I swear, I didn't take him!
Alice: DO NOT MESS WITH SITH LORD ALICE. :evil: NOW GIVE ME MY HUSBAND!!!!
Rosalie: I didn't take your stupid husband!
Alice: If you didn't, who did? :roll:
Rosalie: I don't know.
Emmett: *comes crashing down the stairs* IT'S A MURDER MYSTERY!! OOH OOH LET ME SOLVE IT!!!!!
Rosalie: Nobody murdered anyone.
Emmett: But that's always a possibility in a case such as this. Besides, I WANT TO BE A DETECTIVE!!!!
MysteriousVoice1: Muahahahahaha.
MV2: If you ever want to see your beloved Jasper again,
MV3: Gosh. I can't believe I'm going along with this.
MV2: Iah! Just say your lines or I'll have Bellona do it!
MV3: Like she'd remember them. She's just in this for the evil laughing.
MV2: That's beside the point. Now say your line!!!!
MV3: *exasperated sigh* Fine. ...you must concede to our demands....
MV1: Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha--
MV2: Bellona! Shut up!!!
MV1: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha--
*there is the sound of someone being hit*
MV1: Owwwwww. Stop it Medea!
MV2: Fool! You have revealed our secret identities!!!
MV3: I think our "secret identities" were toast the minute you said Iah.
MV2: Shut up. Like you could do any better.
Bella: Okay, would you get to the point?

Not my best, but whatever. I'll try to come on more often, but I don't know that it'll work...
Some things exist, whether you believe in them or not. ~Valiant by Holly Black
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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby Artemis Cullen » Sun Sep 21, 2008 2:32 am

*Contained laughter finally bursts free* Oh My God! Winniepony that was hilarious! :lol: I'm still red and gasping for air from laughing so hard. :lol:

Bellona sound's just like she does in my head (Clueless and silly), so does Medea (So Bossy), an Iah (reluctant to almost everything). :geek: ... :mrgreen:

Hey, are you sure you can't read my thoughts or something? :?
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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby WinniePony » Mon Sep 22, 2008 1:11 am

:D :D :D Yay! I'm so glad you think it's so hilarious. And duh, of course I can read your thoughts! Fangirl telepathy, remember? And congrats on using the little dude with glasses... he's so cute. :geek: :ugeek:! :geek: :ugeek:! Geek, uber geek! Geek, uber geek! That's so cute!!! :D
Some things exist, whether you believe in them or not. ~Valiant by Holly Black
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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby Artemis Cullen » Tue Sep 23, 2008 7:42 pm

Oh, Yeah! :lol: I remember Fan-girls telepathy, so funny and useful. :geek: And Thanks, the smilies with glasses are cute! :lol:
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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby WinniePony » Tue Sep 23, 2008 10:14 pm

Gah!!! Why is nobody posting!!!!???? I'm going through skits withdrawl!!!!!!!!!!! Now somebody needs to post so I can continue it... there's no point in continuing your own skit. Come one people, make with the clickety clickety typety typety.
Some things exist, whether you believe in them or not. ~Valiant by Holly Black
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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby dandyvampgirl_13 » Wed Sep 24, 2008 12:05 am

I'M SORRY I WENT TOTALLY SKIT DEAD!!! Soccer took over my life!!!
Therefore, its time for another brain dead skit from Sithy! (yesh, Sithy. You heard me. Nao shusheth.)

Emmett: *yawns widely*
Alice: Why are you yawning?
Emmett: Cuz we've been standing here for like, 3 days, doing abosolutely nothing because none of those dang skit girls would post.
Alice: ... I was talking about the physical impossibility of vampires needing to yawn, but whatever works...
Bella: Well, he is right. I wish SOMEONE would post... I'm geting tired of just standing here....
Alice: AGAIN! Physically impossible!!! GOODNESS
Rosalie: *pokes self in the eye* Is this physically impossible? ... OW FLOWER THAT ACTUALLY HURT...
Alice: YES... well, not really, but STILL! CEASE THE IMPOSSIBLENESS
Jake: *grins evilly* Oh Nessie......
Nessie: Si, my luverly wolfboy?
Jake: Are vampires ticklish..?
Nessie: Yes... why...?
Jake: *grins more...*

sorry for the suckish stik, but I need to vanish.... *vanishes* Have fun contiuing!!!!
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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby MuseAddict » Wed Sep 24, 2008 12:40 pm

Sorry for not posting, but I don't have any ideas at the moment. and since I don't really get the thing with the new added characters I would mess up the whole thing. I'm gonna watch for a while and as soon as I understood Bellona, Medea, and Iah I'll write something. Please don't be annoyed, I only want to understand the three of them before I post something because otherwise I might write something that doesn't fit to them at all.

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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby Artemis Cullen » Wed Sep 24, 2008 11:39 pm

MuseAddict wrote:Sorry for not posting, but I don't have any ideas at the moment. and since I don't really get the thing with the new added characters I would mess up the whole thing. I'm gonna watch for a while and as soon as I understood Bellona, Medea, and Iah I'll write something. Please don't be annoyed, I only want to understand the three of them before I post something because otherwise I might write something that doesn't fit to them at all.

Rob


It's okay! It took me a while to understand them, and their my characters! :lol: I hope I can continue, If you don't like it skip it, just remeber I haven't written one of these in a long while!.....

*Behind a wall (You decide where you want it)*
Iah: I might, but I don’t want to find out, especially if I’m stuck with you two.
Medea: That is a direct insult to your leader! And you shall be punished for that!
Bellona: Oho. Someone’s going to get hurt!
*Medea turns around and glares at Bellona*
Bellona: Err, I’ll be quiet now, I think.
*Medea turns back to Iah*
Medea: I’m your leader remember you own me your respect and loyalty! And since you have disrespected me you will be punished! … After we are finished here.

*They walk out from behind the wall to face the Cullen’s*

Medea: *Wickedly* Hello, Cullen’s. :twisted:
Bella: Umm, Hello?
Medea: As we were saying if you ever want to see your beloved Jasper you have to do what we say, when we say, understood.
Emmett: What?
Rosalie: I will not obey some weak worthless humans!
Alice: Rose! Shut Up! I want my Husband back!
Rosalie: Let them have him, because if I get my hands on him you’re going to be a widow!
Alice: You lay one figure on him, and you’ll face the wrath of Sith Lord Alice!
Esme: Girls.
Carlisle: Be quiet!
Alice & Rosalie: NEVER! :evil:
Bella: Will you two just shut it! God! Alice what are they going to say.
*Alice closes eyes and concentrates. A frown comes onto her face*
Jake: What did you see?
Alice: Nothing!?
Everyone: (minus the trio) WHAT!?!?
Alice: You heard me! I SEE nothing!
Nessie: Why!?
Alice: I don’t know, but I don’t like it.
Jake: *Motions Cullen’s to huddle, then quietly* We should get them.
Alice: Are you crazy! They’ll hurt Jasper.
Jake: That’s a risk we’re going to have to take.
*Nessie Swoon*
Bella: *Motherly tone* Nessie.
Nessie: Sorry.
Jake: So we attack, or we attack.
Carlisle: I for once agree. They seem too dangerous to be left free.
Jake: Here’s what were going to do.

*At the other end of the room*

Iah: What do you think their talking about?
Bellona: I don’t know.... Maybe they’ll invite use to dinner! *Medea hits Bellona on the back of her head, while Iah slaps his forehead*
Iah: Yeah right, and I’m King Henry the 8th.
Bellona: You wish!
Iah: UGH!
Medea: Stop it! :x
*Iah and Bellona stop*
Medea: Whatever they are planning is not good, I can sense it.
Iah: Sometimes I wonder what you are.
Medea: So do I, so do I.
Bellona: Maybe she’s an evil spirit! … *receives death glare from Medea*… Never mind. :?
Iah: So what do we do?
Medea: You still have my vials?
Iah: Yes… why?
Bellona: So we can drink them obviously!
Medea: No you airhead! So that if they show any signs of attack, we can throw at them and stop them!
Bellona: Oh!
Iah: You don’t get it do you?
Bellona: Yeah, it's just that it’s so complicated!
Iah: No, it’s not.
Medea: Let me make this simple, if they start coming at you, you throw it at them. Understand?
Bellona: Yes! :!:
Iah: Finally!
Medea: Good, now get them out Iah we’re going to need them soon.

*Iah pulls out small vials containing different shades of red liquid, and passes them out to Medea, Bellona, and keeps some for himself. … On the Cullen side…*

Alice: Are we ready.
Cullen’s and Jake: Yes.
Bella: Then let’s go. *Cullen’s and Jake break group*
Medea: You’re Answer?
Rosalie: No. *Cullen’s start walking towards the trio*
Medea: Very well then. …Now! :twisted: *Throws Vials. Bellona and Iah follow the lead. The Vials break against the bodies of the Cullen’s and Jake, and they are soaked in red liquid*
Rosalie, Alice and Nessie: My Hair!
Jake and Emmett: My Clothes! :o
*Everyone stares*
Both: What!?
Bellona and Iah: Medea I don’t think its working!
Medea: Wait for it… *Smoke starts to wrap around the Cullen’s, until they disappear from view. Strange noises can be heard from the smoke. As the smoke starts to clear 4 Cows and 4 chickens stand instead of the Cullen’s and Jake.*
Bellona: They turned into animals! Ha-ha :lol: *Falls to floor*
Medea: Of course they did.
Iah: Ugh! Animals, I hate farm animals!
Medea: I suggest we go; I don’t want to be here when they are found. Besides we must attend to our dearest guest.
Bellona: And who would that be?
Iah: I’m guessing Jasper.
Medea: Correct, Iah! Now let’s go! :twisted:


Sorry that was long! What will happen? When will Edward return? Will the Cullen’s and Jake ever go back to their human forms? I don’t know, I’ll let the next person decide.
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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby Talia_Bananas » Thu Sep 25, 2008 5:50 am

you guys im so skit dead its sad! OMG CHICKENS!!!!!!!!!

ok im going to do a really short one dont hate me but it has to come out lol

The three start to walk away, bellona looks back over her shoulder..
bellona in her head:wow thats a nice looking chicken...i wonder if its a boy cullen or a girl cullen...wow its totally giving me the eyes tho i better give it a wink ;) yeah that'll do it..
*out loud*he he he

Medea:wat are you he he ing about?

Bellona: nothing! :D lets go get juniper yeah?

Medea: -.- juniper...

Bellona:DUH juniper cullen :D come on you didnt think i woud forget him already.

iah:buahahahahahahaha Medea ur face! is priceless! ROFL

*Bellona goes off in her head*

Medea:*gets in bellonas face*HIS NAME IS JASPER!!!!!!!

Bellona:Who's?

* :shock: medea walks away.*

Iah:your great kid

Bellona:what i do?

*back with the cullen/animals*

EmmettChicken:Hey...cluck...i think that bellona chick was looking at me....cluck...get it CHICK! cluck CUZ where chickens! ahahaha

Everyone: -.- no emmet mooo, cluck

BellaCow:Moo...emmet shut it! we dont have time for jokes...moo.... now who is a chicken and who is a cow...mooo

JaconChiken: -.- im a chicken cluck....-.-

NessieCow:moo...im a cow...mooo..oh jaky poo hold me!...mooo*runs towards jakechicken*

J.C.:Nooooo!cluck!YOUR A COW! cluck.*runs from N.C.*

*N.C. crys*

BellaCow:JAKE! how dare u call my sweet baby a COW! :evil:

J.C:-.- because she is a cow...cluck.

BellaCow:oh yeah..mooo. Now wat about the rest of you? Moo or cluck people! come on we havent got all day





sorry just had to have someone have the hots for a chicken XD if u hate it skip it. it just popd in my head and i had to let it out. hope i didnt kill ur little ppl artemis im not too sure about who they are yet :D
Image"I twitched as the pain lashed around the edges of the hole.But I wasn't the only one twitching.I could feel Jacob's whole body trembling next to mine.Even the car shook.- NM pg347
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Re: Twilight Skits

Postby Artemis Cullen » Thu Sep 25, 2008 9:50 pm

Don't worry it was very funny! :lol:

Bellona's always getting into trouble anyways, but Iah and Medea always get her out of it, or stop her before she does anything really stupid. :mrgreen:
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