True Love? Reality or Myth

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Re: True Love? Reality or Myth

Postby AliceMarieHale » Fri Jul 10, 2009 3:39 pm

Asheleyo wrote:
AliceMarieHale wrote:I have a weird view on the whole "true love" ordeal. Its hard to explain. I do believe it exists but at certain times I wonder if it really does. I see all my friends and family members in happy bliss with their other and it shows that true love exists. But then when it comes to me I am all alone. Sure I've had my crushes and I know I am still young but I have not had a boyfriend yet. Well I dont consider my first one really a boyfriend since it was in what fifth grade? Well past that then I see certain friends and family members in pain because of their 'other' they are in pain. So It makes me wonder if true love comes and goes as quick as it does for some then for others it stays and they have no issues ahead with their 'other'. I know I am rambling but I still can not fully explain how I feel about 'true love.' It is like I believe but I do not. I know lots of people who do not believe in it and they are not sad or depressed, they actually have happy lives. They believe in love but not 'true love.' So I can not be one to judge if certain people veiw it that way. I am confused more or less on this whole 'true love' thing. Reading some of these other posts they show intrest on both side of the playing field for 'true love' if someone could explain to me a little more that would be great. Well here is my very confusing veiw on 'true love.'


As far as the pain part goes, I believe that life comes in pairs of the ends of a spectrum. I don't believe there can be great joy without great sadness. There's a precarious balance to everything, but there is always both ends of that spectrum present. Just as I believe good could not exist without evil. You can't have one without the other, otherwise we'd be living in the middle without any particular inclination to anything. Everything would be mild. So when you have love, you have pain, or at least the potential for pain. What you have to remember always is that love involves two people. Just because you may be certain of your love for someone, it is not guaranteed that you'll get to keep them. That person could deny their feelings or not return them at all. I don't think that makes your love any less. But it certainly makes your pain greater. If two people don't work on a relationship and hold it together, even with a true love, there is the potential to lose everything and feel extreme pain. It doesn't undermine the existence of true love, though.



Thanks for the help. I think your right. In all i just lose faith from everynow and then. Thanks again, :D
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Re: True Love? Reality or Myth

Postby Branwen » Sat Jul 18, 2009 7:15 pm

I don't really know what to believe in with the true love ordeal.

debussygirl wrote: Someone may be attracted to their true love when they first see them, but at that point it's just attraction. Until they get to know them more, it can't be love.


I completely agree with that. It's never true love at that point, it's just lust. At what point is it true love? If you fall out of love because your personality changes in life due to experiences, can you say that it was in fact true love once? Is true love only romantic or only platonic, or both?

I don't know what I really think about true love. However, I completely believe in true lust.
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Re: True Love? Reality or Myth

Postby MiVidaLoca » Mon Jul 20, 2009 1:00 pm

I guess it would depend on one's definition of True Love.

I don't like the word personally the TRUE part, as if any other love isn't real or true.

That said, I think the intense love we see in the book can absolutely exist. I think to many people don't find it because they settle in life with their partners. I think that when you do find that right person that you just click so well with on so many levels and have such an intensity with them and have that Passion, and Understanding etc.. on BOTH sides (that is important or then your just a stalker LOL) that it can be that "true love". I think for it to be real than it won't be perfect. There will be fights and arguments how they are handled is what's important. I mean looking at the book and how many people felt Edward and Bella had true love, it wasn't without work, and arguments etc. Of course I am sure many men wish after they screw up all they have to do is look and breath on their partner to be forgiven HA!

Anyway, I think that intense love (I like that word better) can be found, I think it takes work to keep it once you have it.


If more people would raise their standards in a partner and hold out for a better match I think it's possible for majority of people to have this.
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Re: True Love? Reality or Myth

Postby debussygirl » Tue Jul 21, 2009 1:07 pm

I've been noticing a lot in books, tv, movies, etc that people always bring up timing. Like, it wasn't the right timing for the two of them to be together or something.
I was wondering if timing really mattered if you loved someone. Of course I think timing is important for steps like marriage and kids, but is there really a time when love can't work?
I'm still young and figuring stuff out, but it seems to me, that even if the timing isn't right, if the love is real, then it shouldn't really matter.
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Re: True Love? Reality or Myth

Postby MiVidaLoca » Tue Jul 21, 2009 4:26 pm

Sometimes even if you love someone you still have the rational part of your brain working and maybe that is what is meant by timing.

Ex. Lets say I am married, and he isn't really my "true" love. I meet someone and all the things are there, chemistry and so on. Well in that case the timing isn't really there. What if I thought my husband was my true love but after meeting Mr. X I discover how serious and intense love can really be, but again, the timing is all off.

I would assume that is what is meant by timing, not just already being married but just scenarios such as that.
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Re: True Love? Reality or Myth

Postby Asheleyo » Tue Jul 21, 2009 5:37 pm

debussygirl wrote:I've been noticing a lot in books, tv, movies, etc that people always bring up timing. Like, it wasn't the right timing for the two of them to be together or something.
I was wondering if timing really mattered if you loved someone. Of course I think timing is important for steps like marriage and kids, but is there really a time when love can't work?
I'm still young and figuring stuff out, but it seems to me, that even if the timing isn't right, if the love is real, then it shouldn't really matter.



I feel like that's just a cop-out excuse for not being willing to put in the effort to make the relationship work. If you really are trying, giving it your best shot, then maybe the other person wasn't or you just weren't meant to be together. But I feel like timing is not really an issue.
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Re: True Love? Reality or Myth

Postby Angelvamp » Wed Jul 22, 2009 10:31 am

MiVidaLoca wrote:Sometimes even if you love someone you still have the rational part of your brain working and maybe that is what is meant by timing.

Ex. Lets say I am married, and he isn't really my "true" love. I meet someone and all the things are there, chemistry and so on. Well in that case the timing isn't really there. What if I thought my husband was my true love but after meeting Mr. X I discover how serious and intense love can really be, but again, the timing is all off.

I would assume that is what is meant by timing, not just already being married but just scenarios such as that.


There's the rub, huh? Are you just supposed to know it's real or "true love", right off the bat? Even Edward and Bella didn't!
Like the others, I'm not sure if "timing" is the right word. I think it's more circumstances. You know, sometimes life just gets in the way. Although I do think that all relationships take effort, I don't think that just working on it will fix all the problems. You don't just have the one relationship, you have many. And take it from me, sometimes they don't mesh (in-laws, anyone?). This is where effort, perhaps in the form of acceptance or patience, can come into play. However, just because both are willing to put forth that effort doesn't mean that everything will work out. Does that mean that it's not "meant to be" or "true love"? I don't have an answer to that one.
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Re: True Love? Reality or Myth

Postby MiVidaLoca » Wed Jul 22, 2009 12:51 pm

I would say if both people are making an effort to make things work and it's just not working that it would be, just not meant to be. I mean you can't force chemistry. Sometimes you just have a stronger emotional connection to someone. I have know people that thought they were happy in their marriage. But then one person meets another and they connect emotionally and realize they were lacking something in their marriage, they tried to get that with their spouse but it just wasn't there and this new person brought something alive in them that wasn't there before.

It's tough all the way around in situations like that because you have to fight between what everyone else will think is right and what you feel is right and you don't want to hurt your spouse.

Sometimes it might be there for your partner but not for you. I can relate to that one ALL TO WELL. Then you have someone not wanting to let go no matter what you tell them they insist it can all be great but your heart is somewhere else.

Bottom line though, I don't think any relationship is perfect without any bumps in the road. A lot of people feel Bella and Edward had true love and that can be absolutely true, but it didn't come without bumps in the road and learning between them and negotiating and compromise and communication and that is what makes a good relationship.
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Re: True Love? Reality or Myth

Postby Dxplora07 » Mon Aug 03, 2009 10:21 pm

I think true love in the sense that you will always feel all lovey dovey and warm and fuzzy ALL the time does not exist. The idea of true love of always having that sense of companionship, and trust, and knowing you always have someone to fall back on all the time does. The warm-and-fuzzy thing fades over time, but the sense of campanionship, to me, remains and causes you to work hard to maintain your relationship....I haven't had much experience in the long run, but we're almost to our half-year mark....anyone married for a long time have any views on this?
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Re: True Love? Reality or Myth

Postby MiVidaLoca » Tue Aug 04, 2009 12:48 am

I just had my 9 year anniversary last month, together for 11. Got together when I was 19 and he was 20
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