Boys are Confusing

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Re: Boys are Confusing

Postby Elizabeth » Mon Sep 08, 2008 12:49 am

Kaitlyn why are you torturing yourself? Cody is no good for you, period. But you get that! Ask for Steve, do you really want to be the runner up? Or, have someone's leftovers? This girl has damaged him, and he takes her back. What's not to say he brings these issues to any future relationships? Steve can't be that nice if he kisses you and then takes the other girl back, it's like he's abusing your feelings for him. He wants his cake and wants to eat it too. What if you two dated and temporarily broke up and he kissed another girl, he does to you what he does to his current gf? Regardless of the circumstances, you deserve to be treated better, whether you're going out with him or he's just a friend.
Maybe you just love the IDEA of being with Cody because you have a history and he's familiar territory. Same thing with Steve, you like the idea of being with someone 'different'. Think about it, if it's more effort to be in a relationship because you're constantly working on not breaking up or getting back together, is it worth it, is really a relationship if you're hardly together? I say, it doesn't work out the first time, there's usually a reason.
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Re: Boys are Confusing

Postby Sharenei » Tue Sep 09, 2008 12:37 pm

Well, at the very least, it could be worse.

(Real blast from the past here; hang on, it takes some setup for it to all make sense.)

The time is junior high. The age range? 13-14 on the guy. I'm 12 going on 13, and easily identifiable as the school geek.

It's seventh-hour study hall/advisory, and I happen to share it with one of the most popular--and, I thought at the time, attractive--guys at school. One day, he walks up to my desk with a note and a smile, not really stopping to wait while I read it. (He was only a couple seats behind me, and the teacher was neurotic about placement, so I didn't think about that.) I open the note, and he's asking me out. Normally, it would give me pause, but in my somewhat-romantic brain I figured less possible things had happened and I'd finally hit a string of good luck. I let him know I've accepted the offer.

Forty-five minutes pass, with me dancing on clouds in my head while I'm reading Bulfinch's Mythology (no homework, and it was the only interesting book I HADN'T read on the shelf.) The bell rings, and he comes back to my desk as I'm packing up, handing me another note. I open it up, expecting there to be something about how this came about, or maybe setting up a date--quietly, of course, to protect his reputation.

Well, I was half-right. What I got was "April Fools!"

Confused, I check the date, not even really noticing time fly by anymore. Much to my chagrin, he was right...it was April 1st. I hardly heard the laughter from his gang of friends, who were now clogging the doorway and laughing in my general direction.

Is this some sort of acceptable guy practice, at that age, or should an older brother have knocked some sense into him?
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Re: Boys are Confusing

Postby mcdowellswife » Tue Sep 09, 2008 12:48 pm

Oh that's a definite 'older brother knocking sense into him' situation. What a sh*t.
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Re: Boys are Confusing

Postby kaitlyncullen » Tue Sep 09, 2008 4:26 pm

Elizabeth wrote:Kaitlyn why are you torturing yourself? Cody is no good for you, period. But you get that! Ask for Steve, do you really want to be the runner up? Or, have someone's leftovers? This girl has damaged him, and he takes her back. What's not to say he brings these issues to any future relationships? Steve can't be that nice if he kisses you and then takes the other girl back, it's like he's abusing your feelings for him. He wants his cake and wants to eat it too. What if you two dated and temporarily broke up and he kissed another girl, he does to you what he does to his current gf? Regardless of the circumstances, you deserve to be treated better, whether you're going out with him or he's just a friend.
Maybe you just love the IDEA of being with Cody because you have a history and he's familiar territory. Same thing with Steve, you like the idea of being with someone 'different'. Think about it, if it's more effort to be in a relationship because you're constantly working on not breaking up or getting back together, is it worth it, is really a relationship if you're hardly together? I say, it doesn't work out the first time, there's usually a reason.


yesss, you make a lot of sense to me. thank you for the advice. =]
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Re: Boys are Confusing

Postby ~twilight_princess~ » Thu Sep 25, 2008 5:40 pm

GAHHH! Boys are SO CONFUSING! I agree.

This one guy acts like he likes me half the time, but he told me he liked this other girl.. twicE! He comes to me for his girl advice. Problem is, I think I like him. I don't really want to like him because my friends think he's weird, but I like him. I can't date anyway until next year, but I don't know what to do!!
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Re: Boys are Confusing

Postby StupidxLamb » Thu Sep 25, 2008 5:43 pm

~twilight_princess~ wrote:GAHHH! Boys are SO CONFUSING! I agree.

This one guy acts like he likes me half the time, but he told me he liked this other girl.. twicE! He comes to me for his girl advice. Problem is, I think I like him. I don't really want to like him because my friends think he's weird, but I like him. I can't date anyway until next year, but I don't know what to do!!


In my humble, humble opinion...if you can't date for a whole year, don't try to do anything about it. When I was 14, I still had a year and a half left before I could date and I got my heart SO broken by this guy. We're great friends now, but it caused me so much heartache at the time. And I guess the truth is, it doesn't matter if you are allowed to date or if you aren't, because heartache happens. But if he has told you that he likes this other girl, it probably means that he likes her. Sometimes guys send mixed messages too, though. So your confusion is totally understandable! How old are you, m'dear?
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Re: Boys are Confusing

Postby ~twilight_princess~ » Thu Sep 25, 2008 5:48 pm

I'm fifteen, I'll be sixteen next summer. I just don't know about this boy. I mean, he danced with me at homecoming, and I don't think he danced with this other girl (who is one of my good friends) and he hugs me all the time when he sees me, and we can actually TALK... (I'm not that good at talking to guys). Idk... I probably won't act on it until I CAN date, but I still just think about him all the time, and I can't tell anyone because my friends might tease me about it/or they think he's weird. I think that they think I'm too good for him.
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Re: Boys are Confusing

Postby StupidxLamb » Thu Sep 25, 2008 6:11 pm

~twilight_princess~ wrote:I'm fifteen, I'll be sixteen next summer. I just don't know about this boy. I mean, he danced with me at homecoming, and I don't think he danced with this other girl (who is one of my good friends) and he hugs me all the time when he sees me, and we can actually TALK... (I'm not that good at talking to guys). Idk... I probably won't act on it until I CAN date, but I still just think about him all the time, and I can't tell anyone because my friends might tease me about it/or they think he's weird. I think that they think I'm too good for him.


Aw. Well, I can honestly say that I've been there! Twice! I am only just now allowed to date (my parents have the same 16 year rule). The hardest part about telling someone you like them before you can date is that, if someone's feelings change, someone has to say that they don't like the other person in that way anymore. But if you're dating, you can say that you feel it's time to break up, without using those exact words (ie: I don't like you that way). You could always just ask him who he likes...and see if he says you.
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Re: Boys are Confusing

Postby StickStones&&Techno » Sat Sep 27, 2008 2:29 pm

omgg.
i have an enormous problem.
there's this one guy i like and i've liked him for almost a month now.
his name is michael, and he is my age.
i've known him since the second grade, but it was until last year we REALLY became friends.
his flirting is over the top.
yesterday alone, was incredible.
ok. here's what happened.
i have athletics seventh period, so i was walking there. it was at the very far back end of the school.
he was coming out of office aide, and he called out to me.
he went back inside cause he had forgotten to return his office aide pass. i waited for him and when he came out, he gave me a high five, as usual.
then i was like "your hands are really sweaty."
you know how guys try to annoy you like hugging you when they're all sweaty, well this was one of those moments.
he showed me how sweaty his hands were by grabbing my face with them.
by that point, the two people i had been originally walking with, brittany and katie, were cracking up cause they know i really like him.
they had both walked ahead of me to give me some alone time with him, so i decided to take a chance and walk a little faster to catch up with them, and he came right along with me. for some reason. (:
i had to get to the locker room, so that's the end of that story.

after we had finished our workout and the final bell had rung, we all went back in.
when walking through the track i saw him, so i sped up a little cause i wanted to see what he would do.
well, when he saw me, he waved and winked at me.
he's been doing that a lot.

two days before that, so thursday, i was going to go get water, but all the football guys were taking up the whole area (he's on A Team football), so i had to wait. he turned around and saw me. i was turned around at the point and wasn't facing him, so when i did turn around, i saw something weird going on with his face.
it might be my imagination, but i thought i saw him do like an air kiss without the hand motion and then he winked.

his locker is right next to mine because he had to get a locker change cause the office had given his actual locker to someone else. and as if by magic, his locker is now right next to mine. my friend katie said that's fate.

is it me, or does he like me?
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Re: Boys are Confusing

Postby Elizabeth » Sat Sep 27, 2008 2:35 pm

^He could be flirting because he likes the attention but there may be more to it. How is he with other girls? If he flirts with everyone, I would warn you to be careful- he may be playing with your emotions. But, if he's only playful with you, I'd try to hint around. Why don't you try to get a friend to ask him about you, unless you feel comfortable talking to him on your own?
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