So, today I spent 20 minutes in my car combined with Brad. At first it was awkward, neither of us knew what to say. And well today at school I was just in a bad mood, and he kept telling me to be cheery like cherieos. That did make me laugh though. And he told me that I shouldn't be so gloomy because we had a snow day yesterday and that should make me happy. Except with the knowledge that my aunt could die at any moment soon and I can't be there doesn't really make me want to be happy. Then during lunch, as I am slowly starting not to eat and instead go to the media center and do any homework I can (like Brad), he calls me out on it and tells me I should eat something and not start taking after him. "Okay, I really don't want you to worry about me like that", was all I could think. This evening we went to go to tutor and he needed a ride so I offered him one. I get there and make my way to his front door, through the snow drifts only to hear the garage door open and see him walk out, he starts coughing and as I make my way towards him I say "Don't die!", he turns around. It turns out to be his brother, Nate. He goes gets Brad and we have a little catch up time before their mom comes to take Nate to the doctor and Brad comes out. Brad and I drive off and it's just nice. While at the tutoring it's nice. On the ride home, he asks me how I've been and what was wrong. I tell him about my aunt and my godmother and how I've just been generally upset. When we get back to his house he looks at me before getting out and says that I should sleep, that I need it, and that he wants me to sleep. After driving off, I just breakdown and sob, as I drive. Probably not smart since the roads were icy and snowy still and my eyes wouldn't stay open. I don't even know why. I think in part because all today Brad was showing concern for my well-being and it was too much. I couldn't take it. I still can't decide if I like him or not. I don't want to like him more than a friend and him worrying about me didn't really help. Why is he such a sweetheart?!?
I just don't know anymore. Can I just ignore him now and only speak to him when necessary? *semi-joking*
Manifest plainness, Embrace simplicity, Reduce selfishness, Have few desires.
~Lao TzuNeed something to do?
read. blog. watch.