Jazz Girl wrote:I think a greater part of my issue with Jacob, honestly, is that I always hated that he is given a free pass because of his youth and inexperience. Yes, Edward has lived for 106 years (at the time of Eclipse's publishing), so, yes, he's lived longer, gained more insight and experience. But, he's experiencing these events, emotions, reactions, everything for the first time ever, just as Bella and Jacob are. He's essentially shut that part of himself off for 90 years, refusing to acknowledge it, trying to control the loneliness and the inadequacy that he felt because he felt as if he would be alone forever. And it was easier to just disconnect than to continue experiencing those feelings and wanting those feelings, particularly in the face of living with 3 sets of perfectly matched partners. So, when it comes to dealing with matters of the heart, opening yourself up to those emotions, learning to accept the realities of them, he is every bit as immature and impulsive as Jacob is, as Bella is. And yet, he's the only one who we expect that ,just because he's been alive longer, he magically knows all about how to communicate, how to relate in that kind of relationship, how to accept and address fears and threats and desires and needs in that context.
If anything, I always saw Edward at much more of a disadvantage than either Bella or Jacob, because he never learned how to work through those issues. We learn to be in a relationship by observing the relationships around us; our parents, family members, friends. We learn through trial and error in our early relationships. But, Edward didn't get to do any of that. His human memories are lost through the transformation. So any insight he might have had from his parents or family is gone. When he was turned, we know that he hadn't yet experienced those early attempts at a relationship. But, even if he had, again, those memories are gone. Within his vampire family, he's only ever seen three pairs of mated vampires. The emotions are crystalline, intense and unquestionable. From what we see, once a vampire chooses a mate, that relationship is unchallenged and immediate. So he never witnessed any of his brothers have to deal with questioning whether or not they were the right one for their partner. He never saw his mother or sisters question whether their partner was the right man for them. We can assume that, because there is friction in every relationship, there were disagreements and fights. But, also, given what we know of the 6 vampires in question, I'm willing to bet that none of them pushed each other, challenged one another the way Bella does Edward. So, why is it that we just expect Edward to magically know how to communicate with Bella, how to turn off his instincts and give over control to her?
I completely agree with you! Everyone says that Edward has lived for over a century so he should understand it all, but this is the first time he's experiencing all of this too! He is trying to figure everything out and it's not fair to use his age as an excuse, just like I believe it's not fair that everyone blames Jacob's actions on his age!
That is another beautiful point that you made about Edward lol! He has never been able to witness a relationship from the start throughout the whole thing! The only true love he has ever witnessed were between vampires who mate for life! People may say that he has witnessed love between many people over the years of his life, but teenagers mostly experience lust not love! Edward is at a big disadvantage because people expect him to know everything and to do everything correctly!