Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Postby corona » Thu Sep 29, 2011 2:04 pm

No problem, Smitten, you never come off as abrasive. Sometimes my joking is a bit too dry, though, and I may cause some confusion. Concerning Jacob, no matter how I might feel about him, I would never wish eternal virginity on him or Nessie.

And BTW, I was checking out the archives and saw a comment from Alphie back in 2006 where she had discussed this with SM. Apparently SM had done a lot of thinking about these matters, but wouldn't get into very many details herself. Certain things are possible, but a lot we just have to trust SM on. I'm fine on that.

And those early discussions on vampire sex? They are way more explicit than anything we have posted here recently. No ahem, errr, uhhh, or use of euphemisms. Just a bold and unapologetic search for the truth by those pioneers of the Lex. There was such a hunger for...knowledge...back then. It was actually quite funny. Once the dam broke, the flood of questions and theories was quite remarkable.

P.S. I'm almost done "banging out dents with Tyler" so I'll be leaving Alaska soon. ;)
"It will take an amazing amount of control,” she mused. “More even than Carlisle has. He may be just strong enough…the only thing he’s not strong enough to do is stay away from her. That’s a lost cause.”
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Postby 24601 » Wed Oct 05, 2011 11:32 pm

Pardon the interruption, but a few of the Mods (who shall remain nameless) told me I needed to post this here.

I don't post that much, but I do read the boards. And this topic did confuse me when I first ran into it. The topic title caused me to be puzzled as I read through the posts the first time...

Well now I feel like Little Red Riding Hood from "Into the Woods" -- I know things now, many horrible things....

One of the things I do is golf. And I golf with people so removed from Twilight they think that that is just a time of the day.

Recently I was out golfing. My playing partner and I were talking about our kids being at college. His daughter just started at college this year as well. They are very similar kids, at least the way we speak of them. We are both worried/concerned/nervous of how they will do in school.

So after talking for a few minutes, He says to me. "Well, at least I hope she learns how to bake this semester"

Well, what do I think of? That's right. And do you know what happens when you try not to laugh? Doesn't work, does it.

So he asks me , "whats so funny?" He asks again. Puzzled. Then he says "She is in cooking school."

I can never explain this. Never.

Can't even begin to think of an explanation.
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Postby VolturiGirl » Thu Oct 06, 2011 1:00 am

Well 24601,
If she learns to bake, I hope she doesn't have an Easy Bake Oven!

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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Postby Alphie » Fri Oct 07, 2011 1:49 am

corona wrote:And BTW, I was checking out the archives and saw a comment from Alphie back in 2006 where she had discussed this with SM. Apparently SM had done a lot of thinking about these matters, but wouldn't get into very many details herself. Certain things are possible, but a lot we just have to trust SM on. I'm fine on that.


I know it's been a while since you talked about this, but I just had to comment.

First off... where was this discussion from 2006? I can't remember what we said publicly back then! I have talked privately with Stephenie at length (no pun intended) about the various nuances of vampire sex. Vampire/Vampire. Vampire/Human. Hybrid Vampire/Werewolf. I mean really. Have you read any of my fanfiction outside of Twilight? I am not shy when it comes to the sex. I wasn't shy when I had the chance to talk to Stephenie. And you all had better own up to the fact that if you had Stephenie Meyer's ear for an hour or two, you would be asking her about the sex, too!

Stephenie, however, was always very elusive and would doge a lot of issues by coming back to the fact that it's fantasy. If we can believe that Edward is dead and drinks blood and is faster than a speeding bullet, why can't we just believe that he can have sex, too? But we all get hung up in the supposed science of it all. Here's my take on all of it. This might be different from that 2006 quote because I've had more time to think and worked on a certain book where we asked several times for more information about this very topic and came up short even though we knew if it had it in there the book would sell like hotcakes... but I digress.

Edward is moveable. Even though he feels like steel and is set in "stone" ever constant and never changing, he can move. His body can bend. His eye lids open and close. His fingers bend. His joints move. He can slouch or sit up very straight. I believe his ability to move and adjust isn't limited to the appendages with feet and hands attached at the base. He can move well enough that he can dock at Bella's port without tearing her skin. His concern for her safety was that he would dock too fast or with too much force, or that he would lose control while in the process of docking. But his ability to dock was never in question.

As to Nessie and Jacob... I'm not sure why there was even a question about their ability to dock. As a hybrid, Nessie's body is warm and more human-like than vampire-like. She is strong and not as easy to hurt as a human, but she isn't as strong or as indestructible as a full vampire. Jacob and Nessie's docking time will be just fine. And I do believe that they would eventually Vulgar Language Is Ugly, should Stephenie ever write again. Nahuel will certainly stand in the way as another possible sailing partner for Nessie, but Jacob and Nessie will eventually rock that boat.
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Postby marielle » Fri Oct 07, 2011 2:12 am

Alphie, you explanation is perfect!!!...
You got a good point of Edward's flexibility. That was how I imagined a vampire's body to function.

Alphie wrote:As to Nessie and Jacob... I'm not sure why there was even a question about their ability to dock.

the issue was with her skin, Edward said that he was sure that no needle could penetrate her vampire like skin. we were considering if Jacob would have issues with docking for the first time. Considering that her skin might not give like human skin.

Alphie wrote:And you all had better own up to the fact that if you had Stephenie Meyer's ear for an hour or two, you would be asking her about the sex, too!

Oh yes, but it would be focused more on why she had a complete black out during Bella's and Edward's intimate moment and not used mild languages and write a very romantice union, we don't need the details but blackness is just so black...(I would ask her if she ever read smutty honeymoon fanfic and what she thinks about them)...

24601 wrote:So after talking for a few minutes, He says to me. "Well, at least I hope she learns how to bake this semester"
Well, what do I think of? That's right. And do you know what happens when you try not to laugh? Doesn't work, does it.
So he asks me , "whats so funny?" He asks again. Puzzled. Then he says "She is in cooking school."
I can never explain this. Never.
Can't even begin to think of an explanation.

I can so understand... after a visit to the gutter my mind stays in the Gutter and it turns anything my collegues say to something I can't and will not think about...it's mostly followed by a sly grin from me...they don't need to know...
but the baking issue would cause me to chuckle as well...
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Postby corona » Fri Oct 07, 2011 10:27 am

Alphie,

They were a series of threads, nine in all, discussing vampire mating. I think this is where the Gutter might have been born, I have seen references to "baking" there.

Here is the last thread, VMT#9:

http://archive.twilightlexicon.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=19934

The first post on VMT#9 has a link to all eight prior threads.

That particular conversation I was referring to started here on VMT#1:

http://archive.twilightlexicon.com/viewtopic.php?t=1198

On the third page of that thread, VMT#1, you made these comments:

Alphie wrote:Now...about the friction...would you believe that I had the guts to actually say something similar directly to Stephenie? She responds to such topics in a much more dignified and refined way than I do. Her main comment on the entirety of the process was basically this:

I have thought about how it all works. I've thought over all of those issues and know, personally, how it all works, but i don't feel it's really that necessary to go into detail about it.

Not a direct quote, but you get the idea. What I think she was trying to tell me was to just accept that it's possible and not worry about what bodily fluids are being secreted. Imogen and I had a barf bag of a conversation just like this where we even considered that venom might be part of the fluids. VOMIT! So I'll just stick with Steph's advice and not worry too much about it. As she has said MANY time - they can, and do, have sex.


As for Edward being able to move and his flexibility, that explains how he is able to do most of his maneuvering. However, all of that is Edward moving Edward. Edward can open and close his hand because of his muscles. Where there isn't muscle, he would have to manually make adjustments, as long as we are still trying to technically come up with an explanation, even as I don't see him doing that at all on the island. But, since SM says it is possible, we must be talking about one very specific part of his body that magically moves like a hinge against human flesh and bone, even though in all other cases humans would give way with not much more resistance than paper mache.

It is true that that specific part is different, however. Hmmm, maybe, possible? I can see how it can't happen, but I can also see that it just might possibly work. I think there is a Nobel prize there somewhere. Experiments are needed to confirm that hypothesis. Maybe Emmett would allow himself to be the guinea pig, as long as it's for a good cause and Rose is out shopping. I'll leave that one to the ladies.

Now the female vamps? Nope, not going to happen. Although there is a possible solution that would broaden the TW worldbuilding. What if it is possible because it was designed that way, that it is purposeful? That it might be very dangerous (for humans), but that certain areas on the vamps really are different? We really don't know the origination of the vampires, Stephenie may have gone much further down that road than she is telling us. Lot's of references to "dark angels" in the books, especially TW and MS, I've always wondered if that had more meaning.

VolturiGirl wrote:Well 24601,
If she learns to bake, I hope she doesn't have an Easy Bake Oven!


That is one of the most seemingly innocent, yet crudest responses I have ever seen posted here. I salute you! :hello:

24601 wrote:So after talking for a few minutes, He says to me. "Well, at least I hope she learns how to bake this semester"

Well, what do I think of? That's right. And do you know what happens when you try not to laugh? Doesn't work, does it.

So he asks me , "whats so funny?" He asks again. Puzzled. Then he says "She is in cooking school."

I can never explain this. Never.

Can't even begin to think of an explanation.


Heh, the worst time to laugh out loud is when it is completely inappropriate and there is no way you could confess to what it is you find funny. The more you try to avoid laughing the harder it becomes.

My older brother used to do that to me all the time when we were kids at church. He would whisper something dirty to me, and then I would start shaking in the pew trying to hold it in. He liked getting me going when someone was leading a prayer (the worst time of all). Sometimes he would slightly change the lyrics to a hymn and sing it under his breath so only I could hear. If I couldn't hold it in, I would get the vicious "mother pinch" that would stop a charging bull moose in its tracks. I would try to get him back, but he was much better at keeping his cool than I was and I invariably would lose it before he even figured out what I was trying to do.

P.S.

Spoodurance Trials!!!! Are You Kidding Me????

Do NOT go back to those threads, I started picking around them again, and now I feel unclean.

Maybe tomorrow after a few beers...
"It will take an amazing amount of control,” she mused. “More even than Carlisle has. He may be just strong enough…the only thing he’s not strong enough to do is stay away from her. That’s a lost cause.”
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Postby smitten_by_twilight » Fri Oct 07, 2011 1:36 pm

24601 wrote:So after talking for a few minutes, He says to me. "Well, at least I hope she learns how to bake this semester"

Well, what do I think of? That's right. And do you know what happens when you try not to laugh? Doesn't work, does it.

So he asks me , "whats so funny?" He asks again. Puzzled. Then he says "She is in cooking school."

I can never explain this. Never.


Ah, the joy of pastry. Sweetmeats, tarts, rum balls, ladyfingers, cream horns, and the ever popular cherry pie. It's just as well your friend doesn't have this idea to trouble him.

Alphie wrote:Have you read any of my fanfiction outside of Twilight? I am not shy when it comes to the sex. I wasn't shy when I had the chance to talk to Stephenie. And you all had better own up to the fact that if you had Stephenie Meyer's ear for an hour or two, you would be asking her about the sex, too!


Not sure it would take an hour. "Um, Steph, about the sex" which we get teased with for more than three books.... Doubt I have read your fics but I've been ficdiving lately. Are you on ff and are you Alphie, wherever you post?

Alphie wrote:Stephenie, however, was always very elusive and would doge a lot of issues by coming back to the fact that it's fantasy. If we can believe that Edward is dead and drinks blood and is faster than a speeding bullet, why can't we just believe that he can have sex, too? But we all get hung up in the supposed science of it all.


Two words: internal consistency. We are limited by Bella's POV, and perhaps she should have clearer on the malleability of all the marble parts, but even in fantasy we need logic and believability. Now, I love Twilight, and recently recognized that for me they are elevated beyond the status of favorite book into a whole new category, but I can't be blind to the flaws. I agree with your concept of how it works (I picture venom-like fluids between the cells allowing movement), but I think that that is an understanding we have placed on the books, rather than one that arose clearly from them.

Alphie wrote:As to Nessie and Jacob... I'm not sure why there was even a question about their ability to dock.

marielle wrote:the issue was with her skin, Edward said that he was sure that no needle could penetrate her vampire like skin. we were considering if Jacob would have issues with docking for the first time. Considering that her skin might not give like human skin.


Specifically, Nessie's (oh I'll just say it) hymen. But also because it has great Jacob-teasing potential!

corona wrote:Do NOT go back to those threads, I started picking around them again, and now I feel unclean.


Now I HAVE to check them out SOON. Oh, I could so ruminate on uncleanliness.
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Postby corona » Fri Oct 07, 2011 2:24 pm

I missed a few things on my first read of your post, Alphie.

Alphie wrote:This might be different from that 2006 quote because I've had more time to think and worked on a certain book where we asked several times for more information about this very topic and came up short even though we knew if it had it in there the book would sell like hotcakes... but I digress.

Ummm. Yes, you very well did digress!

What's the scoop? Was this BD, or another book?

Alphie wrote:Nahuel will certainly stand in the way as another possible sailing partner for Nessie, but Jacob and Nessie will eventually rock that boat.

Alphie, you keep bringing up Nahuel with such certainty. You make me wonder if there are things you aren't telling us.

smitten_by_twilight wrote:
Alphie wrote:As to Nessie and Jacob... I'm not sure why there was even a question about their ability to dock.

marielle wrote:the issue was with her skin, Edward said that he was sure that no needle could penetrate her vampire like skin. we were considering if Jacob would have issues with docking for the first time. Considering that her skin might not give like human skin.


Specifically, Nessie's (oh I'll just say it) hymen. But also because it has great Jacob-teasing potential!


Hmmm. If there are any more books to be written, we'll need new post levels, like "Banging Out Dents with Nessie". That reminds me of a Snow White and the Seven Dwarves joke. Maybe later.

So now I'm hiding Lauren's hair dye. Seriously? I need to extend the welcome to a lot more newbies, I'm still in the crappy categories.
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Postby Alphie » Fri Oct 07, 2011 8:54 pm

The book I was talking about is The Twilight Saga Guide. Laura and I worked on that book and asked Stephenie many many questions to help fill in the blanks. We did ask her about the sex and she didn't answer it preferring to stay more PG for her younger readers.

I keep bringing up Nahuel not out of certainty because Stephenie told me personally, but because I have yet to read a Stephenie Meyer story where there wasn't a love triangle! The way BD ended was so unfinished for Nessie and Jacob. It can't be just perfectly happy. She is going to be an adult in about 4 years. She will look 20 when she is about 6 or 7. That is not going to sit well with Edward. He's not going to allow his 7 year old daughter to do anything remotely close to baking with Jacob without freaking out in the process regardless of how old she may look! And Nessie has to be able to chose Jacob. There has to be an alternate option for her other than Jacob. It makes sense that the option would be Nahuel since he is the only other being like her right now.

And about that last matter of breaching Nessie's port... I don't think she is THAT unbreakable. You're talking about a very fine, very thin part of the body. I know Nessie's vampire like skin is tough, but I think it's totally possible. After all, she has to be able to get pregnant, which means her skin will be able to stretch. If she couldn't get pregnant, Jacob wouldn't have imprinted on her since imprinting helps further the werewolf species to stronger, more capable offspring.

Lastly, my fanfiction is on fanfiction.net under the name Alphie. My Superman fanfiction is actually the sexiest stuff I have. Supes and Lois get busy quite frequently. Pillow talk is pretty sexy for me. There is a little bit of sexy in my Harry Potter stuff. But since I try to follow canon as well as I can when I write, my Twilight stuff is PG sexy, but has no sex.
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Postby smitten_by_twilight » Mon Oct 10, 2011 12:19 am

Tried to post 3 times in a row the other day and lost it every single time. Trying again, but can't recreate everything.

Thanks for the link, Alphie, I'm sure you've seen my reviews by now! I'm enjoying working my way through TLatL.

Been reviewing the old Gutter links and wanted to state for the record that my location was not, repeat NOT, intended to refer to "baking" in this sense. It was only a reference to my Team Alice status, BD, and the fact that yummy cinnamon rolls are insanely easy to make from scratch. When I created it I had not discovered this thread, much less figured out what "baking" meant. So while I have no theoretical objections to "baking" with Edward, I was actually thinking of just ordinary baking with Edward. I like to cook. My mind is not always in the Gutter. Thank you for your time.
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