Twilight Lexicon Discussion Forums

Asheleyo wrote:

n0vaice wrote:Well I do believe in "love at first sight", it's probable or plausible at least.

Who are we to know or to choose that the person we fall in love with or the
person we are attracted to by first sight to, either to their physical or inner
beauty is the one we are meant to be with.

I can agree to it being plausible. But I think it should be approached in an intelligent manner, so that you don't loose your head every time you see someone particularly attractive.

I agree. We just have to be optimistic. That's all we can do hope and believe for the best.

But that's not love at first sight! I've been attracted to many people when I just see them, then they open their mouth and I don't care for them anymore. What people are feeling is lust, or attraction. Love has to be found on deeper levels than appearance, or else the relationship will never truly work out.
Someone may be attracted to their true love when they first see them, but at that point it's just attraction. Until they get to know them more, it can't be love.

debussygirl wrote:But that's not love at first sight! I've been attracted to many people when I just see them, then they open their mouth and I don't care for them anymore. What people are feeling is lust, or attraction. Love has to be found on deeper levels than appearance, or else the relationship will never truly work out.
Someone may be attracted to their true love when they first see them, but at that point it's just attraction. Until they get to know them more, it can't be love.

Of course people have to be attracted on a deeper level for it to be love. But some people can attest to being more than simply physically attracted to someone immediately. They feel some sort of "connection" to them. I haven't experienced, but that doesn't mean I'll claim that those people who say they have felt it were lying or mistaken.

That brings up another interesting question though.
At what time is it true love?

I think it's the difference between your every day feeling of love for the people that surround you, and the feeling of love you have for a very select group that feels as though your life would be incomplete and barren without them.

For me it's the love I feel for my husband and two best friends as opposed to my love for my family and other, not so close, friends.

I have a weird view on the whole "true love" ordeal. Its hard to explain. I do believe it exists but at certain times I wonder if it really does. I see all my friends and family members in happy bliss with their other and it shows that true love exists. But then when it comes to me I am all alone. Sure I've had my crushes and I know I am still young but I have not had a boyfriend yet. Well I dont consider my first one really a boyfriend since it was in what fifth grade? Well past that then I see certain friends and family members in pain because of their 'other' they are in pain. So It makes me wonder if true love comes and goes as quick as it does for some then for others it stays and they have no issues ahead with their 'other'. I know I am rambling but I still can not fully explain how I feel about 'true love.' It is like I believe but I do not. I know lots of people who do not believe in it and they are not sad or depressed, they actually have happy lives. They believe in love but not 'true love.' So I can not be one to judge if certain people veiw it that way. I am confused more or less on this whole 'true love' thing. Reading some of these other posts they show intrest on both side of the playing field for 'true love' if someone could explain to me a little more that would be great. Well here is my very confusing veiw on 'true love.'

AliceMarieHale wrote:I have a weird view on the whole "true love" ordeal. Its hard to explain. I do believe it exists but at certain times I wonder if it really does. I see all my friends and family members in happy bliss with their other and it shows that true love exists. But then when it comes to me I am all alone. Sure I've had my crushes and I know I am still young but I have not had a boyfriend yet. Well I dont consider my first one really a boyfriend since it was in what fifth grade? Well past that then I see certain friends and family members in pain because of their 'other' they are in pain. So It makes me wonder if true love comes and goes as quick as it does for some then for others it stays and they have no issues ahead with their 'other'. I know I am rambling but I still can not fully explain how I feel about 'true love.' It is like I believe but I do not. I know lots of people who do not believe in it and they are not sad or depressed, they actually have happy lives. They believe in love but not 'true love.' So I can not be one to judge if certain people veiw it that way. I am confused more or less on this whole 'true love' thing. Reading some of these other posts they show intrest on both side of the playing field for 'true love' if someone could explain to me a little more that would be great. Well here is my very confusing veiw on 'true love.'

As far as the pain part goes, I believe that life comes in pairs of the ends of a spectrum. I don't believe there can be great joy without great sadness. There's a precarious balance to everything, but there is always both ends of that spectrum present. Just as I believe good could not exist without evil. You can't have one without the other, otherwise we'd be living in the middle without any particular inclination to anything. Everything would be mild. So when you have love, you have pain, or at least the potential for pain. What you have to remember always is that love involves two people. Just because you may be certain of your love for someone, it is not guaranteed that you'll get to keep them. That person could deny their feelings or not return them at all. I don't think that makes your love any less. But it certainly makes your pain greater. If two people don't work on a relationship and hold it together, even with a true love, there is the potential to lose everything and feel extreme pain. It doesn't undermine the existence of true love, though.

I don't know if someone already addressed this on this thread, but what definition are we going by? What is the definition of "true love" and what makes it "true"? Can you qualify and quantify love? Is motherlove considered "true" because it is unconditional or does the term only apply to romantic relationships?

My practical, cynical side wants to say that true love does not exist. That it is a construct of societal values and hormones. Humans are animals and, as social creatures, we must form bonds with other humans to survive. Anyone remember Psych 101 and the study about babies and touch? Just like horses, wolves and any other social animal, we form bonds with each other and follow the rules set by the collective. Some bonds within the family or herd are stronger than others due to many mitigating factors, not the least of which is procreation.

But my fuzzy, princess-hat-wearing, romantic side wants to say YES YES YES it does exist! It's like the unicorn of relationships. Something so beautiful and magical, you just want so badly for it to be real that you just ignore that cold-hearted math that says different. But the existence of the term itself implies that it has to exist. But I don't think "true love" and "love at first sight" are the same thing.

Asheleyo, I agree with your assessment of balance, yin and yang. Opposites need each other in order to exist. If you are never sad, how can you define happiness? I think Bella said it best when she said (in NM or EC, I don't remember) love is giving someone control over you. That may be the reason for some people's aversion to the existance of true love, because it would imply true control and many people can't accept that.