December, don’t kill me please . . .
navarre wrote:Okay everyone, I have a question. Now, if this has been asked in an earlier post in this thread, please forgive me. I'm lazy and did not want to scroll through 90+ pages to see.
In my local paper is a huge article on the film Twilight. In this article a girl made the comment that she sees Edward & Bella's relationship realistically and feels that Bella was never her true self with Edward - that she had to always act & be perfect for Edward to love her. She also stated that Bella acted herself with Jacob and could be herself with Jacob.
Naturally I disagree. I think Edward accepted Bella 100% and I do not feel that he demanded Bella to be perfect for him. I basically feel this is self explanatory but what do you lovely darlings think?
Comments?
Off Topic (slightly): I find this interesting. Because one of the things that drew me to Edward is the way he loves Bella for exactly who she is. He thinks she’s perfect even when she does not see perfection in herself. Out of everyone in the series, Edward fights hardest of all to keep her exactly the way that she is. And yet he’s constantly accused of trying to change her. Or worse, encouraging her to change herself.
But how is Bella
more “herself” with Jacob than she is with Edward? That would require us looking back at who Bella was prior to meeting both boys, wouldn't it? Because even though SM does not give us a lot of back story surrounding Bella’s former life, we do get enough to know that for starters, Bella was a relatively closed off person before she ever came to Forks. She was quiet and shy. Introspective and mature way beyond her years. With Jacob, she may have done more “teenage stuff", but before Jacob, was she ever really interested in any of that? Did she ever express a desire to ride motor bikes and jump off cliffs? Did she ever strike anyone as a go-getter? A thrill-seeker? I wouldn’t say so. And yet, we would consider those traits her “true self”? If anything, she was behaving in ways that were outside of her norm. Wouldn’t acting outside of the norm be a sign that someone is being less than true to him or her self?
So she was able to talk to Jacob . . . . I would only find that fact impressive if the bulk of their conversations did not involve or evolve around Edward. But it did. So I don’t. That, plus the fact that Bella was acting “recklessly” for the sole purpose of hearing another guys voice, does not lend itself to a strong argument in favor of Bella’s alleged “true self” coming out only in Jacob's company. I might be inclined to think differently if there was ever a point prior to meeting Edward (or after meeting him) where Bella voiced a desire or longing for a foot loose and fancy free life.
Now that is not to belie the fact that there
IS a great deal of gravity in her relationship with Edward. But how can there not be when their relationship defies nature, death and in some cases good sense. Jacob can be with Bella and not have to worry about killing her, so that’s bound to lend some levity to their interactions with one another.
I think people sometimes confuse gravity of circumstance with gravity in a relationship. For example: If I’m tiptoeing through a grave yard with the love of my life, no matter how strong that love, the conversation is still going to be way different than if I’m walking through a field of flowers with the guy I just met from up the street. Basically I’m saying that Bella and Edward had to contend with some pretty hefty issues during the course of their relationship. Issues that most couples would never even have conceived of. And yet, throughout, they somehow managed to maintain their strong attachment to one another.
Someone else already mentioned this, but Bella is very open with Edward (although the opposite cannot always be said for him). For pete sakes, Bella was able to look Edward straight in the eye and admit to being in love with another man. Then had the audacity to expect comfort and solace because of it! If that aint being one’s self around the man you love, then I don’t know what is.
Bella was no more insecure with Edward than any other teenage girl would be when dating a handsome guy. In fact, I’m sure that if she had started out the story as enamored with Jacob as she was with Edward that the same would be true.
The important factor is that Edward loved her for who she was and never required her to change. He never asked her to. He never even wanted her to. And Bella may have wanted to be perfect for Edward (who here would not want to be a better version of themselves?) but she never
tried to be perfect. She never behaved in a false or superficial way. She never tried to wear sexy clothes or high heels or eat less or pretend to like what he liked. She had no problems disagreeing with him when it came to any number of issues; including music, literature, religion, sex, mortality . . . Yeah. So suffice it to say I disagree with the girl in that article.
On Topic: One of Edward’s best traits is that he loves Bella for who she is.