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Re: Waiting For My Soul Mate --Single Adult thread

PostPosted: Sat Sep 27, 2008 9:46 pm
by oleander
Hi Ren!

I wish I had some advice for you, but i don't...other than try to remember that guys are just people with different plumbing, and trust your instincts.

If i had the answers i wouldn't be sitting alone with my computer on a Saturday night. ;)

Anyone else have some answers for Ren?

Re: Waiting For My Soul Mate --Single Adult thread

PostPosted: Sat Sep 27, 2008 10:33 pm
by skylarblue
Hey Ren & I think anyone who is single can contribute someting here. It's really funny that I totally feel like oleander you are my long lost twin.

When I went to college at 18, I went buck wild because it was the first time out on my own no parents so it was me. At 19, I pledged a sorority and thought I found some really good friends.

There was always a group of girls & guys and like oleander said they started dating and when things when bad, everything went to hell. People began choosing sides.

I would love to have a relationship with one of my guy friends, it would make the relationship so much better, no awkardness.

So, here I sit also on a Sat night, in front of the computer, trying to watch House and Harry Potter all at the same time. How exciting but right now I'm not ashamed to say that. I'm starting to feel comfortable in my singleness because I can do what I want and not have to think about pleasing someone else.

Re: Waiting For My Soul Mate --Single Adult thread

PostPosted: Sat Sep 27, 2008 10:52 pm
by Elizabeth
Ren, I'd like to offer some advice but I've only had one serious relationship which wasn't a healthy one and seeing that I'm currently single, can I really be of any use? I guess like Oleander said, every guy is different and a certain formula won't solve all our problems, although we wish! Everyone keeps telling me to put myself out there and go out, but where, when? I think most people just say things that sound good without thinking them out. I may not be able to provide you with advice or some useful tips, but I do know what you're going through. As you can tell from this thread, you're not alone.

Re: Waiting For My Soul Mate --Single Adult thread

PostPosted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 12:31 am
by oleander
skylarblue, it's sad that we're so bang on about the same thing, eh? at least i know i'm in good company.

i don't know if this is advice, but it's the mantra i've been chanting to myself lately:

although i've had some horrid experiences in the past, not every guy is a jerk.

that's my biggest problem, i measure all guys by the jerks i've met. well, i'm going to break free from the shackles of the past and surge forward into the future...

...tomorrow, or maybe the next day...i'm tired and it's time for bed. ;)

Re: Waiting For My Soul Mate --Single Adult thread

PostPosted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 12:36 am
by Feathers
Oh good, this seems to be like a support group, in a way. Which is kind of neat. I'm really glad I found it.

I figure all I can do is wait it out and see what happens. I'm happy sitting at my computer on a saturday night watching a CSI marathon. My friends don't always understand that - they think I'm missing out and I'm some kind of martyr, choosing to be unhappy. Large crowds, loud noise... I don't like them. So bars, nightclubs... those are sort of ruled out. I like chillin'. Cheers to the singles chilling tonight!

<3 Ren

Re: Waiting For My Soul Mate --Single Adult thread

PostPosted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 9:56 pm
by Anarey
I wonder if I'll ever find that significant other. I'm in the process of my ex moving out of the apartment after one year living together. It's a pain... I already miss his daughter who lived with us and she won't leave until tomorrow morning. But I know it's for the best. The thing is, I'm a hopeless romantic and guys are not. I'm too old fashioned for guys my age, and it seems almost pathetic that the only guy who is, personality wise, the way I want is a fictional character. I wonder if I'm going to be alone forever or if there's someone out there for me.

Re: Waiting For My Soul Mate --Single Adult thread

PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 12:35 am
by Brokensoul
Well i believe there is someone for everyone. The problem is that sometimes you don't find that person for a few reasons. Sometimes you end up with a few bad relationships until you find the one. Or sometimes you just have to wait till you find that one person all together. Patience is required for any stage for any realtionship. You have to be patient for things to develop over time. I'm right there with you it feels like i dunno when or if someone will come along for me but i have to believe and cant give up when all hope seems to be gone. So I'm waiting and being hopeful and just letting things fall into place.

Re: Waiting For My Soul Mate --Single Adult thread

PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 3:42 pm
by oleander
I just got back from talking to my therapist (yes, i will freely admit that i have a therapist...he was initially my ADHD counsellor but i enjoyed talking with him so much i see him about my anxiety problems too) and we talked about me being single and how he wants me to put myself out there more. I asked him if he had any suggestions as to where I could meet guys (and i mentioned this thread) and he made similar suggestions as everyone else did and warns that meeting guys in bars is a recipe for disaster:

Church (i don't go to church)
clubs/hobby groups
school (the kids are young enough to be my children)
work (i work in an office of women)
the grocery store (?? nice cucumber--want to go out sometime?)
the bus (he has another client who met his girlfriend on the bus...)

he wants me to start putting myself out there more because nothing is going to happen if i just sit home and lament about being lonely. he also said that sometimes you have to wait a little longer for your soulmate to find you. patience is a virtue but it doesn't hurt to start a conversation with a stranger.

he also told me that i need to make myself more available, i.e. stop wearing my headphones so much. by wearing them i'm closing myself off from the world.

who knew?

Re: Waiting For My Soul Mate --Single Adult thread

PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 3:47 pm
by Persephonie
Dance Lessons..... :-)
I swear, every single person I know that started taking dance lessons is now dating someone they met in class.

It's fun too!

Re: Waiting For My Soul Mate --Single Adult thread

PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 4:15 pm
by skylarblue
I've always wanted to take dance classes. So now maybe there be another reason to sign up for them not just becaue I want to. :D

I never thought of that.