Twilight Lexicon Discussion Forums

Dear Jane and Alec,

There are some bullies who say you two are lame and don't have any powers. Shall you show them what your made of? Hehe

-#1twi-guy

Oh my haha this is too funny!!

This is what I would have posted one year ago:
Dear Jane,
My roommate is, well to put it bluntly, a b***h. Please come and knock some sense in her.
Thanks so much!
ThisStoryOfLove

This is what I would say now:
Dear Aro,
A somewhat friend of mine wants to spend three of the four weeks of my Winter Break at my home. I have grown quite sick of her and am not looking forward to her stay. Please come and take her away.
Thank you,
ThisStoryOfLove

Dear Jane,

This, um, wonderful person i happen to know, hates me for no apparent reason and is constantly mean and rude to other people. Please invite her over sometime, im sure she would love to meet you.

Thanks!-YouAreMyLifeNow

Guys, please remember to follow the rules. That means no specific names. Anyone caught being mean-spirited will be handed over to Alec & Jane. Yes, I know it's a thread for feeding people to the Volturi, but notice how we do it in a polite & refined manner?

Dearest Jane & Alec,

I have some children with whom I think you'd be quite interested in meeting. They are both students of mine in a college freshman course. Yesterday was the final exam for said course. Neither attended the final, but instead today faxed their final exams (which were take home essays). This has thrown me off schedule. I cannot post the cla$$ grades because of the two disrespectful slackers. Not having their grades to post also means I cannot do my grade distribution sheet.

These two rude children need to be taught manners and consideration for others. Most importantly, they need to be taught a lesson in consequences.

Your faithful servant,
GNE

Sam: You are VERY welcome!

Okay this might be bad but it is true!!

Dear Jane,
I am in desperate need of your help! I have an ex brother in law who constantly drags my sister and her 6 boys through absolute hell...if you could be so kind as to have his plum butt for your next main course I would be forever indebted to you!!

Thanks so much and ENJOY!!
Manda

Dear Aro,
My english teacher is a total biatch, be brutal!

Hugs and Kisses
Xia Alexis

now, now. these things must be done politely.

Dearest Alec and Jane ~

An acquaintance of mine is constantly begging to spend time with me, but I have a fairly busy schedule. Perhaps you could invite said acquaintance to be dinner, I mean, to dinner. I appreciate your help in this matter.

sincerely,
Kat.

Dearest Marcus,

Today I received my report card, and got a failing grade in my English class. I think you should invite my English teacher for dinner and teach her a thing or two.

Warm regards,
Samantha

P.S. Not everyone can be lucky enough to have GNE as an English teacher.

Dear Maria and Maria's Newborn Army,

I happen to know a certain teenage girl who always acts like she's PMSing and can't keep her mouth shut. I'm sure she has delightful tasting blood.

Love,
Gracie

P.S. Thanks for Jasper.

Dearest Jane,

Two words, and a ONOMATOPOEIA.

*SQUUEEEE* fan girls.

If they taste a little bit like rubber, well uh, you know why.
THEY'RE FAKE.

Have fun!
-Xia Alexis...er Cullen.