Re: Gen Y -- The 20 something's thread
Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 11:09 am
Yikes, heaps of stuff to reply to. First, Happy Birthday Cappu and Lisette! And yay for Obama!
Second, here's what I've got of the birthday list. If you want to be added, or I've missed you, or I've got something wrong, just put it in one of your posts.
CappuGirl January 21 (1982)
Lisette January 21 (1984)
Vampire_elf March 21 (1982)
Holly March 29 (1980)
Kim April 17 (1986)
Rose April 29
Tabs June 1 (1980)
Paulinha June 20 (1981)
Liezie June 20 (1984)
CiaoBella June 23 (1986)
Sam July 12 (1985)
OKToSink Aug 5 (1989)
SenorGimp Aug 17 (1985)
Jasmine Aug 28 (1981)
OK, I can't believe how out of hand the whole stalking/tracking conversation got! Maybe just to be real clear. ITS A JOKE PEOPLE! I really don't think Sam or I have any intention of hunting Robert Pattinson around LA. He's a little young for me anyway.
Kim, I'm really sorry to hear about your job. I had to leave my job recently because I hurt my back, and it's really stressful not knowing what's coming. I'm sure you'll find something though, and I'll be thinking of you. Wish I could help.
Ninna, I'm also sorry about your husband not passing his exam. It's really hard to know what to do in that situation, whether to just keep trying or not. For both you and Kim, I really feel like I wish there was something I could do, but unfortunately all I can do is send you both all my positive energy, and hopes for you to find a solution.
On the hair thing, um I get the same thing done all the time, and I asked the hairdresser the first time. I'm useless with hair, and makeup, and clothes. I just bought a book called "Dress like a star" that tells you what to wear for your body shape. Sorry I can't help with the hair thing.
On the nice guy thing (Eddie, this isn't about you, but about that article) - I'm in two minds. I do think there are some nice guys who find it difficult to find girls to go out with. But the same is true, I think, of girls. I'm not sure how to say this without offending anyone, but let me try. I think partly what Paulinha said is true - it seems inherent in humans not to want what is too available to them. There's a part of us that wants the excitement of meeting someone and not knowing if they'll like us or not. The person that you've known for ages, that you always really know is interested in you, can't give you that. All of us I think are looking to be validated by someone who we look up to, that that person would think we're great. And each person has a different idea of who they would 'look up to'. For me, I always wanted the confident, cheeky guys who would dance with everyone to validate me by being interested, because they were so unlike me, yet they were like what I wanted to be. I thought they had it all, and I wanted them to say I was ok. I think it's a mistake to assume the girls who have these 'guy friends' who they bring to things are mean, or selfish. Those girls also want 'that person' to say they matter enough to go out with.
So the part where I might offend someone - I'm a pretty attractive person, I dress well, I'm very educated, I have nice hair. I'm not trying to be arrogant, I just need to make the point that I have some of these 'guy friends' who I pretty much know are interested in me or may be interested. And I'm sure that at least one of them feels like I'm using them. But I've been very clear that we're friends, and that's it. And to me, the thing is this. There are other people in our group of friends who would go out with them. But those guys aren't interested in the quiet, plain, girls in our group who would happily go out with them. They want to run round after me doing everything I want to try to get me to go out with them. I guess I just mean that everyone's the same really. There are people you are interested in and people you're not. No one is really that nice that they would be happy to go out with just ANYONE. Even these nice guys want to go out with specific people, not others.
I have a good friend, B, who is one of these guys. But he started seeing this girl, and then after two dates she decided that it wouldn't work because he lives away, so it would have to be long distance. So he said to her 'why don't we be friends then anyway', which she was fine with. But today I was talking to him and he was saying that they'd been out like seven times now and she hadn't even held his hand. I was like, man you told her you wanted to be friends. She's taking your word for it. He had it like a way to get in.
And sorry if any of this sounds harsh, but I have a serious problem with people who write things like this:
"This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor "
When I read this I think "WHY are you doing this? If you hate it so much, and you think this girl is such a b**ch, why are you doing these things, and then complaining. Your friends would be wondering why you keep chasing after this jerk, when there's a really nice girl who likes you!
Sorry. May have got carried away.
Second, here's what I've got of the birthday list. If you want to be added, or I've missed you, or I've got something wrong, just put it in one of your posts.
CappuGirl January 21 (1982)
Lisette January 21 (1984)
Vampire_elf March 21 (1982)
Holly March 29 (1980)
Kim April 17 (1986)
Rose April 29
Tabs June 1 (1980)
Paulinha June 20 (1981)
Liezie June 20 (1984)
CiaoBella June 23 (1986)
Sam July 12 (1985)
OKToSink Aug 5 (1989)
SenorGimp Aug 17 (1985)
Jasmine Aug 28 (1981)
OK, I can't believe how out of hand the whole stalking/tracking conversation got! Maybe just to be real clear. ITS A JOKE PEOPLE! I really don't think Sam or I have any intention of hunting Robert Pattinson around LA. He's a little young for me anyway.
Kim, I'm really sorry to hear about your job. I had to leave my job recently because I hurt my back, and it's really stressful not knowing what's coming. I'm sure you'll find something though, and I'll be thinking of you. Wish I could help.
Ninna, I'm also sorry about your husband not passing his exam. It's really hard to know what to do in that situation, whether to just keep trying or not. For both you and Kim, I really feel like I wish there was something I could do, but unfortunately all I can do is send you both all my positive energy, and hopes for you to find a solution.
On the hair thing, um I get the same thing done all the time, and I asked the hairdresser the first time. I'm useless with hair, and makeup, and clothes. I just bought a book called "Dress like a star" that tells you what to wear for your body shape. Sorry I can't help with the hair thing.
On the nice guy thing (Eddie, this isn't about you, but about that article) - I'm in two minds. I do think there are some nice guys who find it difficult to find girls to go out with. But the same is true, I think, of girls. I'm not sure how to say this without offending anyone, but let me try. I think partly what Paulinha said is true - it seems inherent in humans not to want what is too available to them. There's a part of us that wants the excitement of meeting someone and not knowing if they'll like us or not. The person that you've known for ages, that you always really know is interested in you, can't give you that. All of us I think are looking to be validated by someone who we look up to, that that person would think we're great. And each person has a different idea of who they would 'look up to'. For me, I always wanted the confident, cheeky guys who would dance with everyone to validate me by being interested, because they were so unlike me, yet they were like what I wanted to be. I thought they had it all, and I wanted them to say I was ok. I think it's a mistake to assume the girls who have these 'guy friends' who they bring to things are mean, or selfish. Those girls also want 'that person' to say they matter enough to go out with.
So the part where I might offend someone - I'm a pretty attractive person, I dress well, I'm very educated, I have nice hair. I'm not trying to be arrogant, I just need to make the point that I have some of these 'guy friends' who I pretty much know are interested in me or may be interested. And I'm sure that at least one of them feels like I'm using them. But I've been very clear that we're friends, and that's it. And to me, the thing is this. There are other people in our group of friends who would go out with them. But those guys aren't interested in the quiet, plain, girls in our group who would happily go out with them. They want to run round after me doing everything I want to try to get me to go out with them. I guess I just mean that everyone's the same really. There are people you are interested in and people you're not. No one is really that nice that they would be happy to go out with just ANYONE. Even these nice guys want to go out with specific people, not others.
I have a good friend, B, who is one of these guys. But he started seeing this girl, and then after two dates she decided that it wouldn't work because he lives away, so it would have to be long distance. So he said to her 'why don't we be friends then anyway', which she was fine with. But today I was talking to him and he was saying that they'd been out like seven times now and she hadn't even held his hand. I was like, man you told her you wanted to be friends. She's taking your word for it. He had it like a way to get in.
And sorry if any of this sounds harsh, but I have a serious problem with people who write things like this:
"This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor "
When I read this I think "WHY are you doing this? If you hate it so much, and you think this girl is such a b**ch, why are you doing these things, and then complaining. Your friends would be wondering why you keep chasing after this jerk, when there's a really nice girl who likes you!
Sorry. May have got carried away.