Just Vent

[sarah-belle]

I mean, I made one of my friends promise she won't hurt or kill herself!! All because she wants to be back with her ex and if he says 'no' she "can't go on." I was so close to crying. Why would she do that?! I love her! My other friend loves her! Can't she see we'd be horribly hurt if she did something so serious to herself?! And what about the other people who love her? And even though she promised, as bad as it feels to say, I don't trust her.

I'm really sorry, I know exactly how you feel. Isn't it the absolute worse feeling in the world? :[


My iTunes is being completely stupid and pissing me off. It won't put just like random songs on my iPod. They're checked to be synced and everything, but it just WON'T DO IT. Grrrr.
Plus, my mom is annoying me to death. But that's nothing new.
And one of my friends is always complaining about how I never call them, and how they always have to be the one to call me and blah, blah, blah. So I tried calling them for a change. And the past 3 times I called them , they either 1.Didn't answer or 2.Said they were busy and would call me back, but never did.
I'm just like, "WTF?!"

[Carrisa]

^ The worst part is this thing deep down inside me keeps telling me that if this all turns out for the worst that I'll forever blame myself. I know I shouldn't feel that way since I'm trying my best to figure out how to help her, but I can't get it to go away. I feel like if I can't get her through it then it's my fault since I'm her friend and I should be the one to assist her the most if no one else can. I really hate how my brain processes these things like that.

[Bella_Cullen_13]

I'm really sorry, I know exactly how you feel. Isn't it the absolute worse feeling in the world? :[

I think you mean 'worst' & no offense to anyone, but think about how awful that person must feel if they're going to think about something like that.

^ The worst part is this thing deep down inside me keeps telling me that if this all turns out for the worst that I'll forever blame myself. I know I shouldn't feel that way since I'm trying my best to figure out how to help her, but I can't get it to go away. I feel like if I can't get her through it then it's my fault since I'm her friend and I should be the one to assist her the most if no one else can. I really hate how my brain processes these things like that.

I, again, hate to comment on this, but I feel the need to be the other side of the argument & yet agree at the same time.
Its honestly not your fault, it probably feels like it, but it wouldnt be. I know, thats... twisted, but its true. Blaming yourself isnt going to get you anywhere. Try figuring out what the actual problem is & depending on her, do something to help her. If she doesnt want to or isnt ready to tell anyone, Id advise against it, but thats just me. Talk it over & hash everything out (no pun intended). She's going to feel so much better if she knows she can trust you with this & that you can handle it. & dont just expect her to spill everything, its a big thing. Ask, but dont be pushy about it.

My iTunes is being completely stupid and pissing me off.

Mine is too! Its got almost all the album artwork on my iPod black & its just annoying the Vulgar Language is Ugly out of me. Im determined to fix it soon.

[Carrisa]

True, I shouldn't be pushy, which I think I was bad at doing. I was trying too hard to get her to cheer up and get her mind off it while assuring that I'm there for her. I don't think it was the right way to handle it. I'll have to be calmer about it with her the next time she texts me and gently try to see if her ex is really the problem without forcing her.

But do you think I should change my mind on calling my other friend or not? I felt maybe the support of two would be better and more efficient for my friend rather than having me as the sole person to rely on.

[Bella_Cullen_13]

As long as its someone shes really good friends with, it should be fine. Just make sure you guys are on the same page.

[Carrisa]

Stupid computer and playlist. My computer keeps saying that it's disconnected when it clearly is not! How can it be disconnected when the device that reads my wi-fi status says it's connected? This is not its day. It's getting annoying having to press the dumb connect button with every click I do on a webpage. Thank Edward, it stopped for now, but with the way it's acting it could start up anytime now. And why does playlist have so many problems? None of this would concern me if I had an iPod but I never asked for one. I thought I wouldn't need an iPod as long as I had my playlist but it has so many difficulties! I wish there was an easier way to listen to music.

[Nerd]

I miss both of my cats already. It's been...maybe twenty minutes?

I'm allergic to them. It does me no good. They were downstairs most of the time anyway, so I only really saw them when I went to go do laundry, but I miss them SO much. I've had Samantha for well over ten years. I remember when Doug (my brother) first rescued her from the bridge in Sturgis. She was so skittish. She would hide under everything, and me, being like...8...kept pulling her out and holding her. I remember grabbing her and holding her in front of the dog kennel that held our two dogs (now dead). She peed on me, but she was never afraid of them again. I miss her so much... And I miss Misty, too...

I know they're going to a good home, but I can be a very selfish person. I just want them BACK. The lady says we can visit them... I want to... I don't want to... I don't know.

All I know is that I want to scream because that was like...my last link to the past. Everything is changing. I feel so crazy.

I'm starting to get hungry, but I'm too depressed to eat. No, I could eat a house if I want to. I'm just...self-conscious around food now. I gained ten pounds. I need to looooooooooooooose it. So I'll need to start planning meals again. Ugh.

[twilightbelle<3]

I don't understand why they are freaking out about now, when someone else has had the same problem for years, and for far more superior reasons.

[Bella_Cullen_13]

Im feeling incredibly week.
If I was strong enough, I would keep this inside of me & hesitate none. I would be brave & suck it up, think none of the consequences of this mistake. Im thinking not of what I'll mess up, or what I'm sacrificing, but of why its the only way to fix this.
If I was strong enough, I would keep this from happening. I would leave no room for these thoughts, no room for feelings.
If I was strong enough, I wouldnt need any motivation, I would know what needs to happen & why its right, I would have faith.
If I was strong enough, I wouldnt let this bother me, I wouldnt let it make me miserable.
I know Im strong enough for this. I know I can do it, Ive chosen my fate, the only thing that stands in my way is petty words that I will never read & the possibility of that call coming that I know will never make my phone ring. That would mean someone cared & Im determined to prove myself right, I know I am. No need to be creative, no time to worry about the pain, its what needs to be done, Ive procrastinated far too long.
Tonight I'll cry the same song & talk the same talk, the only difference is my confidence, my bravery & my reassurance that its right, at no cost.
Its hard to keep a promise you knew would never be strong enough to keep. - To that, Im sorry, believe me I am. You know you tried, you know its not your fault & beyond your control. I wish there was another way. I wish I could fix it. I wish I never told you, but I did, so I owe it to you to mean 'Im sorry.' For everything, but mainly, for not having the courage to call & tell you this. I hope I get to talk to you again. Dont message me.
Goodnight.

[museicalking]

music dat just sucks.....