Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

[Mrs.Edward_Cullen<3]

(when Alice and Jasper move in with the Cullens)
Alice: *rings doorbell*
Carlisle: Who is it? *opens door*
Alice: Hey Carlisle. I'm gonna move in Edward's room k? This is my hubby Jazz. He's a little emo. Don't leave kitchen knives around the house. I'm a psychic, he can toy with your feelings. Where's Esme and Rosalie? I need some feminine time and shopping! Oh and uhh..Edward in a few decades you'll fall in love with some human girl and make demon spawn babies. Ooh my correction, just one baby. And you'll marry her, than bust a headboard k? Don't get your hopes up for another few decades.

(Insprired by someone's post on St.Cullens)

[brunetterebel010]

^^^Haha....
I'm not sure Alice could predict the falling in love and the headboard busting before BElla was even born though... this is completely unrealistic.. *realized what thread she is on*
oohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.................

8-)I knew that!

[Mrs.Edward_Cullen<3]

Thanks. Hmm..here's another one.
Renesmee: *browsing through computer*
Bella: Hey Nessie. What are you doing honey?
Renesmee: Oh I'm ordering my halloween costume.
Bella: Halloween isn't until October dear.
Renesmee: I know but I wanted to stock up before the Harry Potter costumes sell out. I got one for Dad too.
Bella:

[JenTheWriter]

Brain Twin!! Long time no thinking alike! I want to be on the List. What list is it?!
~*~
LMAO@a HP costume for Edward. That's hilarious. Although he'd have made a kickin Draco... lol

[Jasper<3]

Jen, I think you're a little too old for The List, no offense! The List is the collected names of all the Unitednessers (teenagers unite). So yeah....

BLAH! I lost my spark! It's been like 50 pages since I've posted an actually funny never-would-happen... *gets angry at un-funny brain*

[JenTheWriter]

Thank you! And yeah ... haven't seen a teen-age for at least 12 years.
~*~

Edward pounces on a mountain lion. As he's about to bite into its neck he purrs, "Have you ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight? I always ask that of all my prey."

Sorry ... Joker moment. lol

[Mrs.Edward_Cullen<3]

Nice one Jen!
(As Bella is hunting...)
Bella: *pounces onto prey and bites, after she is done, she takes a sharpie and doodles a face on the mountain lion. She then writes, I'm stoopid on the cheek.) Always wanted to do that. *runs off giggling*

Jen inspired me.

[JenTheWriter]

lol@doodling on the animal. That's so wrong and funny at the same time! lol

[Jasper<3]

Sorry ... Joker moment. lol

Don't apologize!

[brunetterebel010]

Jacob: Leah, I want you!!! Be mine!!!!
Leah: Whatever makes you happy sweetheart.

^^ Mostly just Leah being nice, although I guess she gets better ~lol~

I want to be on the list!